In the near distance, the snow-capped peaks of the Cairngorm mountains beckoned above the trees. The tallest peak, Ben Macdui, was the closest. Its icy crest glistened in the weak noon sun. The area felt timeless, as ancient as the land itself. I felt the hairs on my arms lift.
I turned to face Gage. ”Why are we here?”
His cheekbones were sharp in the winter sunlight, his cerulean eyes piercing. “Legend says that Cailleach lived on a number of mountains, Ben Macdui one of them. But that’s not true. It’s inhospitable on the peak with no shelter available. Rather, she lived here, close to this tarn.”
“Tarn?” The term was unfamiliar.
He gestured to the pool. “The mountain spring.”
I looked back at it. It was pristine, beautiful. But I wasn’t naive. The air was biting, the temperature freezing. The pool had to be glacial. But I knew he spoke the truth. The tremor in the air was unmistakable, powerful—an ode to the goddess who used to reign here.
“Is this why the Estate is where it is? Because it’s close to this spot?”
He inclined his head. “Very good. The Estate was built over Cailleach’s real home, but it wasn’t the source of her power.” He gestured to the strange stone monument. “The carlin stone was.”
“Carlin stone?”
“A stone of the gods,” he explained. “The stones are conduits of their power. Every Celtic god had one. This particular stone was Cailleach’s, the seat of her power.”
I looked at the stone with different eyes, feeling that whisper of energy on the air. There was an emptiness to this space as if it waited on the return of the goddess. I shivered and turned back to Gage. “Why have you brought me here?”
“There’s a connection between you and this place. There’s also an energy. Together, it’s a powerful conduit which should be able to help you.”
My stomach twisted. I knew what he had in mind. “You think I’ll overcome the wall here, don’t you?”
“It’s a possibility.”
I stifled the curse on my lips, strived to maintain control. “Then, why haven’t you brought me here before?”
Gage searched my face, and I could see a maelstrom of emotion there as if he was hesitant, almost undecided. Not like Gage at all.
“Because there’s a risk,” he said finally. “It’s dangerous to bring someone untapped into an area of energy as intense as this.”
“What risk?” I demanded.
“If you overcome the wall and ignite your spark of power, there is a chance it may manifest too quickly—that you’ll lose control, and it will take over.”
My stomach churned at that. I forced it down. “In what way?”
“Magic is volatile energy. We require a fair amount of control to manipulate something so unpredictable. I’m not talking about physical strength either.” He tapped his head. “If you lose control up here, it escapes, unleashing a force that can kill. But testing you within a source of energy the likes of this could make your mind susceptible.” His words were heavy as he added, “It could break your mind.”
My palms went slick, but I kept my features steady as I studied his face. “But that’s not likely to happen, or else you wouldn’t have brought me here. You must know there’s a chance I will succeed and tap into my magic.”
He shook his head. “I can control the environment, Brydie, but I can’t control how you manipulate the energy within. You’ll have to take it in hand by yourself. The risk will be carried by you alone.”
Biting my lip, I looked at the tarn and tried to rationalize a decision.
Gage was sworn to protect me, but part of his role was also to awaken my magic. He wouldn’t have brought me here if he hadn’t weighed the risks. He would have made that decision based on my progress or lack thereof. Therefore, he must believe I needed this extra help, or else we wouldn’t be here.
But was I ready to trust him like that? He’d said I could risk breaking my mind. Questioning the extent of that statement was pointless. The connotations were obvious. Besides, under the existing method, it had been six weeks of trying and failing to overcome the wall. It wasn’t working. I needed an alternative option, and maybe this was the answer.
I took a steadying breath and replied, “Okay, let’s do this.”
His eyes burned with an intensity that took my breath away. “So be it.” Gage gestured toward the tarn. “Lie down on the stone.”
I walked toward it on shaky legs and lay down on the flat bed of rock. As my back hit its smooth surface, I instantly felt the cold seep through my clothes. It was a freezing, vicious burn, seeking its way under my skin and into my bones.
Shoving aside the uncomfortable agony, I looked over at Gage, who had come to stand beside me. I raised an eyebrow in question as to what was next.
“Close your eyes.”
I noted the tension around the side of his mouth, the narrowing of his gaze. Shaking off the foreboding, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. As the darkness embraced my vision, I crept a hand up to clutch the pendant, seeking its warmth. It was lightly vibrating, and it burned hot in my palm. Its heat was welcome, in contradiction to the cold at my back. So, rather than releasing it, I wrapped my fingers around it even tighter, willing its warmth to travel throughout my body.
“Still your mind,” Gage’s voice came softly.
His tone made my pulse race. It was one he’d never directed at me before. Doubt began to creep in at his solicitous manner. Was it an indication of the danger I was in? Was there a chance I wouldn’t survive this?
Swallowing the rising panic, I pushed all thoughts from my mind and focused on the task at hand, maintaining one breath in and one breath out. Soon after, my heart rate slowed down as I succumbed to the rhythm.
Gage’s voice came again. “Good.”
I felt him take one of my hands, and in the next moment, he was standing beside me in the darkness. In my mind, I turned to him, again seeking guidance for the next step.
His voice echoed in my head. “Turn your eye deep inside toward the center of your being.”
I was there in an instant, and like all times before, it immediately appeared in front of me—a walled cage. But something was different—instead of maintaining their usual distance, the walls were moving, drawing in tightly and inching closer on all sides.
I began to panic. I didn’t want to touch them; I knew the agony they endowed. Could Gage see it?
As if he’d heard me, his voice came again in my mind, except it wasn’t an offer of support; it was a command. “Overcome the wall.”
The walls seemed to respond, closing in even more. I felt the air squeeze around me. Without realizing it, my fingers brushed against the wall beside me, and I screamed at the unending agony. I threw myself sideways, only for my left shoulder to hit the other wall. The pain was all-consuming. Whimpering, I fell to the ground, my arms moving quickly to wrap tightly around my body.
What was happening? Why were the walls moving?
I began to panic anew, terror erasing all sense of rational thought. I huddled in a ball, my legs drawn up to my chest, breath panting. How could I possibly overcome them? The words repeated over and over, eating away at my confidence. And all the while, the walls crept relentlessly closer.
I looked up. The wall stretched higher than my eyes could see, as if morphing and overlapping into a roof above me. Enclosing me further. Trapping me. There was no escape. No way out of this cage.