Aardmen, and the enslaved Paphians who served the Madman in the Engulfed Cathedral. For the first time I realized how brave (or reckless) the Zoologists must really be, to live with them so near.
I turned back to survey my fellow Players and our audience. Zoologists and Paphians alike stared enthralled as Toby cast his spells and Miss Scarlet Pan defied him. For the moment the watchers on the hill were equally entranced. Lazars and aardmen tamed by an ancient play upon a stage: that would make a story Toby Rhymer himself would be proud to tell, only who would be left to hear it? A score of maddened chattering monkeys and countless caged beasts. I could make an escape now if I tried, might even alert Justice or some of the offstage Players to run to safety and leave the rest, actors and audience alike, to the mercy of King Mob.
But I could not leave them. I tried to imagine fleeing, tried to picture myself safe, taken in by one of the Paphian Houses or by the Curators, or even back at HEL . But each time I brought up an image of myself safe within the Home Room or a seraglio at the House Miramar, a gory shade would thrust it aside. Miss Scarlet with her head shaved and electrodes protruding from her skull, starving behind iron bars. Toby Rhymer torn by the ravening jaws of the aardmen. Jane Alopex fighting bravely until she fell “pierced by a lazar’s arrow. And worst of all the thought of Justice lying dead, his golden hair matted with blood and his blue eyes cold and empty.
Sudden anger tore through me, frustrated rage that I should be thus enslaved. My head swam as I stared at the stage where Toby gesticulated wildly and tossed handfuls of glitter. Prospero’s bitter words slashed through the air:
“ ‘Poor worm! Thou art infected;
This visitation shows it!’”
I nodded grimly. I could not leave them to die. Something bound me there to all of them, Justice and Miss Scarlet and sour Gitana, Jane Alopex and those nameless others, swaggering Zoologists and mincing Paphians and even the mute apes mindlessly signaling to one another in their barren cages. Voices whined in my ears: no longer the Voices of the dead, but the remembered words of those who watched or strutted nearby. Miss Scarlet reciting poetry, Justice weeping that he loved me, Jane Alopex’s hoarse laughter. I ground my teeth, trying to will myself to turn and flee. But it was no use now. For good or ill I had thrown my lot with this mess of Players and Whores and Curators. I would die with them if I had to. From the stage rang Fabian’s sweet tenor, reminding me that in a few moments I should make my next entrance. I pulled on my tunic, trying to think of some way to keep the renegade Paphians and aardmen from attacking. My bold words to Justice earlier had been mere bravado. But I felt an edge of exhilarated terror and expectation now, the Boy’s hypostate seething inside me: a leviathan beneath calm waters. I recalled again Miss Scarlet’s doggereclass="underline"
They that have power to hurt and will do none,
That do not do the thing they most do show …
And I felt terror and strength and desire all at once, knowing that I was going to do the one thing I should not do.
“Greetings, young Lord Death,” I whisper, and laugh.
I step to the edge of the stage, tense my body and focus on the image of a tree, new leaves and a softer air than stirs this late autumn night. My hands clench as I summon Him; very faintly the Small Voices wail, warning me—
‘“ No , Wendy! He is too strong, so cold, he is so cold! —”
I push them back, draw up in the image of the doomed twins among boughs of apple blossom, fragments of leaf and flower sparkling in the air and their high voices intoning:
Here we stand
Eye to hand and heart to head,
Deep in the dark with the dead.
The rush comes on, my heart hammers as though I have received a crystal pulse of adrenaline. As I step onstage I hear tiny frogs singing, whispered nonsense words; the creak of a branch breaking beneath a dangling form as a pendulum swings back from another time. My mouth fills with bitter liquid, a taste like hot copper. Through the air cascades the scent of apple blossom.
And He is there, green eyes shining with malicious joy as He sights me: a shimmering figure like something made of motes of light. The torches shine right through Him. I exhale and blink, try to clear my vision so that I can see the stage with its Players backlit by guttering lanterns. Waves of light ripple in the air before my face. Fabian lifts his head to greet me:
“Lo, now, lo!
Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me …”
He stutters over his last line because suddenly he sees that there is something in the air between us: a spectral form, with hair like clear water and eyes that outshine the dying torches, a beautiful boy’s face and body turning from me to extend a white hand to the terrified actor. From the audience come gasps and muffled cries. Toby’s curses turn to loud amazement, and I hear Miss Scarlet cry my name.
I laugh, take a step toward the radiant phantasm commanding center stage. In the audience the Zoologists hush their Paphian guests. They are delighted, certain they are seeing some miracle of stagecraft engineered for their Regent’s birthday.
For a moment everything comes to a halt: the actors have forgotten their lines, the audience waits impatiently. On the hillside the grass rustles as the lazars creep toward the stage, and I hear the deep cough of the aardmen breathing. The Boy too waits, hand cupped coyly beneath His chin, emerald eyes winking.
And just when it seems that something terrible must happen—an aardman will leap from the underbrush to rip out Rufus Lynx’s throat; the Boy will take Fabian’s hand and lead him to suicidal despair; Mehitabel will shriek and ruin Miss Scarlet’s next entrance—just when I think I will collapse into a seizure and force the whole spectacle to some awful conclusion—
Justice strides onstage, so white with terror that his pale hair seems dark as blood in the firelight. With shaking voice he cries, “ ‘What’s the matter? Have we divels here?’”
A relieved sigh from the audience. The hidden figures in the trees grow still. My voice rings out as I shamble toward the glittering spectre, “ ’This spirit torments me!’”
Scattered applause from the Zoologists. Paphians call on the Magdalene with slurred whispers. I try to make eye contact with Fabian. It is hopeless. He stands frozen, hands raised to fend off the ethereal creature suspended in the air before him, gazing with cold yet proprietary calm upon the amazed audience.
Then, despite his own terror, Justice recites Fabian’s lines as well as his own, stumbling through his speech. I crouch and strike at the air, as though there are demons there, and reply:
“ ‘His spirits hear me;
For every trifle they are set upon me; sometime am I