Josiah, using the bulldozing talents of Stuart Tapscott, created a thirty-foot oval pond at the end of the formal gardens. The tables were laid out among the garden paths and the very special guests were seated around the pond. Josiah lined the bottom of the pond so that it was really a swimming pool. He painted the bottom cobalt blue, and lights shone under the water. However, apart from the lighting, the pond appeared to fit the lay of the land. Marvelous water lilies enhanced the surface, as did heavily sedated swans, floating serenely. As the evening wore on the drugs wore off, and the swans underwent a personality change from serene to pugnacious. They stalked from the pond, dripping, flapping and pecking vigorously at one another, to assert their right to the brandy and bonbons. They honked and attacked guests, some of whom, having consumed too much brandy, fled into the pond. Mim herself was accosted by one of the larger swans. She was saved at the last minute by Jim, who lifted her off the ground while abandoning the table to the greedy bird.
Photos of the debacle splashed acrossTown and Country. The copy, lighthearted, did not declare the night a disaster, but Mim was stung nonetheless.
Miranda Hogendobber, punctual to a fault, came up the driveway in her ancient but impeccable Ford Falcon. She was soon followed by Elliewood and Port. After fulsome greetings, Little Marilyn helped her mother load the ladies. She pushed off the pontoon boat and waved from the shore. Then Little Marilyn sat on the dock, toes in the water.
The first round of drinks loosened everyone. Miranda allowed alcohol to scorch her lips. A nifty cure for the stomach ailment that had plagued her last night. She refused the second round but did take a tiny nip on the third.
Mim broke out a fresh deck of cards, still smelling of ink. Port and Elliewood played against Miranda and Mim. Mim just couldn’t do enough for Miranda, which amused Port and Elliewood, who knew Mim was angling for something. Occasionally Mim would wave to a sunbathing Little Marilyn on the dock. It was perfect, really perfect, because Mim was winning.
After the first round of cards, Mim insisted on cranking the boat up and motoring on the lake. Speed was her downfall. She frightened Port, who continually asked her to slow down, but Mim, three sheets to the wind, told Port, in so many words, to shut up and live dangerously.
Finally, she stopped the boat for lunch. At first no one noticed anything wrong. The effects of the drink and the profound gratitude of not having Mim at the wheel dulled their senses.
Then Port felt something rather wet. She glanced down.“Mim, my feet are wet.”
Everyone looked down. Everyone’s feet were wet.
“Well, put your feet on the table.” Mim cheerily poured another round.
“I get the distinct sensation that we are lower in the water,” Mrs. Hogendobber said, even-voiced.
“Miranda, weare lower in the water,” Port echoed, her face now white despite the sunburn.
Mim took off her soaking shoes and settled back for another swig. The group stared at her.
“Can you bail? I mean, Mim darling, do you have a pump?” Elliewood asked. Not a cursing woman, Elliewood had to exercise willpower to say “darling.” She wanted to say “jerk,” “asshole,” anything to get Mim’s attention.
By now the water was mid-calf. Port, unable to control herself any longer, emitted a heartrending shriek.“We’re sinking! Help, my God, we’re sinking.”
She so startled the other women that Miranda put her hands to her ears and Elliewood fell out of her chair. She did not, however, spill her drink.
“I’ll drown. I don’t want to die,” Port wailed.
“Shut up! Shut up this minute. You’re embarrassing me.” Mim spat the words. “Little Marilyn is there on the dock. I’ll get her attention. There’s not one thing to worry about.”
Mim waved at her daughter. Little Marilyn didn’t budge.
Elliewood and Miranda waved too.
“Little Marilyn,” her mother called.
Little Marilyn sat still as a post.
“Little Marilyn! Little Marilyn!” the other three called.
“I can’t swim! I’m going to drown,” blubbered Port.
“Will you please be quiet,” Mim demanded. “You can hold on to the boat.”
“The goddamned boat is sinking, you bitch!” Port shouted.
Mim, outraged, pushed Port off her chair. Port sloshed in the water but bounced back up. She hauled off and caught Mim in the neighborhood of the left bosom.
Elliewood grabbed Mim, and Miranda grabbed Port.
“That’s quite enough,” Miranda ordered. “It won’t settle anything.”
“Who are you to tell me what to do?” Port got snotty.
“Bag it, Port.” Mim, although in deep water, was not going to have her chances ruined. She returned her attentions to Little Marilyn. She screamed. She hollered. She boldly took off her red-and-white T-shirt and waved it over her head, her lift-and-separate bra dazzling in the sun for all to see.
Little Marilyn, who was staring at them the entire time, finally rose to her feet and walked—not ran, but walked—up to the house.
“She’s leaving us to die,” Port sobbed.
“Can you swim?” Miranda matter-of-factly asked Elliewood. “I can’t.”
“I can’t,” howled Port.
“I can,” replied Elliewood.
“Me too,” said Mim.
“You’ll leave me here. I just know you will. Mim, you’re a cold-hearted, self-centered snake. You always were and you always will be. I curse you with my dying breath.” Clearly, Port had once harbored secret dreams of being an actress.
“Shut the fuck up!” Mim shouted.
The use of the“f” word stunned the girls more than the fact that they were sinking.
Mim continued.“If help does not come in time, and I’m sure it will, we will nonetheless get you to shore, but you’ve got to lie on your back and shut up. I emphasizeshut up.”
Port put her head in her hands and cried.
Miranda, with calm resolution, prepared to meet her Maker.
Within minutes Jim, Rick Shaw, and Little Marilyn appeared on the shore. Little Marilyn pointed to the distressed band. Mim forgot she had taken her shirt off. Miranda did not. She covered Mim.
Jim and Rick ran in opposite directions. Jim hauled a canoe out of the dock house and Rick hopped in his squad car. He roared to the neighbor’s on the other side of the lake. They really didn’t want him to use their small motorboat. The sight of Mim’s sinking was pleasing to their eyes but they gave in. The women were rescued as the water crept above their waistlines.
Later, Jim and Rick overturned the boat. One of the pontoons had been slashed and then covered with some manner of water-soluble pitch. Mim, fully recovered from her plight, stood next to the boat. Jim wished she hadn’t seen this.
“Someone tried to kill me.” Mim blinked.
“Well, it could have been ripped on the bottom,” Jim lied.
“Don’t tell me what I know. I never came near the bottom. Someone tried to kill me!” Mim was more angry than scared.
“Perhaps they only meant to give you a hard time.” Rick hunkered down again to inspect the tear.
Mim, now in full hue and cry, whipped out her cellular phone to call the girls.
“Don’t do that, Mrs. Sanburne.” Rick pushed down the phone’s aerial.
“Why not?”
“It might be prudent to keep this to ourselves for a while. If we withhold information, the guilty party might make a mistake, ask a leading question—you understand?”
“Quite.” Mim pursed her lips.
“Now, Mim honey, don’t you worry. I’ll hire day and night bodyguards for you.” Jim put his arm around his wife’s shoulders.
“That’s too obvious,” Mim replied.
After further discussion Jim convinced her, saying he’d get female bodyguards and they’d pass them off as exchange students.
Later, when grilled by her mother concerning her inaction on the dock, Little Marilyn declared the sight of Mim sinking was so traumatic that she was temporarily paralyzed by the prospect of losing her mother.