“Give it to me, Jennet,” I said. “I will drink it and tomorrow you will see me brimming over with health.”
So I drank the posset and indeed it did soothe me to such an extent that when I lay on my pillow I was almost immediately fast asleep.
I awoke startled. Someone was in my room, standing at my bedside. I felt as though a thousand ants were crawling over my skin. I could not see very clearly. The moonlight must have been obscured by dark clouds. Hands were reaching out. I was caught and held.
“No,” I screamed.
Then a soothing voice said: “It is all right, Mother.”
“Tamsyn.”
She was laughing as she clambered into my bed.
I held her tightly against me. “Dearest Tamsyn.”
“I frightened you,” she said.
“I must have been dreaming.”
“I should have awakened you gently. How you shiver!”
“It was waking suddenly. Why did you come, Tamsyn?”
“I was worried about you. I couldn’t sleep. You looked so tired yesterday. Not like yourself at all. Then I thought, I will go and be with her. She may need me. And without thinking very much I came.”
“Oh Tamsyn, it makes me so happy to have you with me.”
“Do you feel comforted then because I am here?”
“Greatly so.”
“I shall stay with you.”
“Yes, do. I feel so happy to have you with me.”
She clung to me.
“You feel better with me here?”
“I feel so happy, Tamsyn. So much better already.”
After a while she said: “I thought to find my father here with you.”
“Nay, he is not always here.”
She was thoughtful. Then she said: “He is away so much. I’ll swear he does not want to disturb you.”
“That may be so, Tamsyn.”
“You are getting sleepy.”
“Yes, I am.”
“I shall stay with you, because I feel you like it better when I am here.”
“I feel so happy to have you, Tamsyn … so safe.”
“Let us sleep then, Mother. You need to sleep. Then you will be gay and happy as you used to be.”
So we slept together and in the morning I felt better.
Tamsyn said: “I shall stay with you, Mother, until you are quite well again. I think you need me. Who knows, you might want something in the night.”
It seemed absurd but I felt a great relief sweeping over me, for it was true that with my little daughter there I felt safe.
Christmas day came and in the morning the carol singers arrived. There was a great bowl of mulled wine from which everyone drank and we all joined in the singing. We gave each other gifts and we kissed and declared no presents could have pleased us more than those we had received.
In the afternoon the children did their miracle play. I was deeply moved to watch Tamsyn in her role. It was declared a great success and the children enjoyed it very much, as did we all.
I sat with our guests and watched Colum and Maria. Perhaps it was not obvious to others but it was to me. There was something about the manner in which they avoided looking at each other and then suddenly they would be unable to prevent it. There was scorching passion there. I sensed it. The children played their recorders and lutes and the feasting began. The table was laden with food of all descriptions—there was beef, mutton, sucking-pig and boar’s head, pies of various kinds—muggety, natlin, squab, leek and herby. There was dash-an’-darras, a kind of stirrup cup, and metheglin and all kinds of wines—cowslip, gillyflower, blackberry and elder.
All seemed to eat heartily and afterwards there was dancing, singing and the choosing of King for the Night. Strangely enough, this fell to Colum. There were loud cries of protest as he produced the silver penny. He was lord of the castle in any case. Connell was bitterly disappointed. Then the games began and when we went in search of the treasure, Colum chose me as his partner.
I was suddenly happy and told myself that I had been mistaken in him. He really cared for me. He would have chosen Maria, who had gone off with one of the visiting squires; and all knew that for the grown-ups this game was an opportunity for getting together and being alone.
Colum said: “It has gone well, eh?”
“The children are enjoying it, which is the main thing.”
“Nay,” he said banteringly, “we have as much right to enjoy Christmas as the children. Come,” he went on, and we climbed the stairs to the ramparts.
We were up there alone in the cool night air.
It was a beautiful sight—the calm sea, the slightly protruding Devil’s Teeth, and to our left the Seaward Tower with the light burning from the lantern.
Colum leaned over and looked down.
“How far away it seems,” he said.
“A long drop,” I answered.
Then he came close to me and caught me round the waist, and I had a panic-stricken moment when I thought he was going to throw me over. I felt my body go rigid with terror.
“Yes,” he said slowly, “it’s a long, long way down.”
I drew away from him and looked at him in the night light. His eyes were brilliant. I thought: He is going to tell me something. He is going to tell me that he loves Maria.
For a few seconds the thought flashed into my head that he was inviting me to throw myself down there on to the rocks.
I said in a voice, the steadiness of which surprised me: “I think we should join our guests. Someone will have found the treasure by now.”
“We must not find it,” said Colum. “That would be wrong. They would say it was contrived. It is bad enough that I should have found the silver penny and become King for the Night. King for the Night … anything I want tonight is mine. Whatever I ask, eh?”
“Are you not always king in your castle?”
“Can it be that you recognize this at last?”
I laughed and we went down to join our guests.
Connell and his partner, the young daughter of one of the squires, had found the treasure—which were two little gold amulets in a box. The box was brought to Colum, who then presented it to them with the customary remark that the contents of the box would protect them from cursed devils, sprites, bugs, conjuring and charms.
Connell was delighted. It was a consolation for not finding the silver penny.
There were bound to be casualties and one was Senara. She was sick and Tamsyn said she would take her to her bed.
Several of the visitors were staying for a few days and in due course they were lighted to their rooms.
I went to mine and I could not resist writing my account of what had happened that day. I liked to do it while it was fresh in my memory. As I wrote I heard footsteps outside my door and I hastily put the papers away.
It was Tamsyn.
She had come every night to look after me.
“Senara is very sick,” she said. “She wants me to be with her. She says she is better when I am there.”
“Go to her, my dear,” I said.
“Well, you are better today, Mother.”
“Yes, my love. Do not fret about me.”
“Jennet is giving Senara a dose of Herb Twopence. She says that will cure anything.”
“She will be better in the morning.”
She clung to me for a moment. “You are sure, Mother, that you are all right without me?”
“Of course, my darling. Good night. Go and look after Senara.”
I kissed her fondly and she went out.
I went on writing. I would finish right up to that moment when I had kissed her good night. Then I shall put the papers away and go to bed.
Part Two
TAMSYN