I must be ready.
And then it came … It must have been a half-hour past midnight, the steps in the corridor which paused outside my door. The slow lifting of the latch.
Oh God, I thought, it has come. And a fervent prayer escaped me. Not my father, I implored.
The door was opening. Someone was in the room—a shadowy figure, coming closer and closer to the bed.
I cried: “Senara!”
“Yes,” she said, “it is. I couldn’t sleep. I had to come to talk to you.”
She looked round. “Where’s my pallet?”
“It’s been taken away. I think it’s behind the ruelle.”
I was shaking. It must have been with relief.
She went to the wooden chair and pulled it close to the bed.
“I had to talk to you, Tamsyn. It’s easier to talk in the dark.”
“A fine time to come,” I said, returning to normal. And I thought: There will be two of us if the murderer comes.
“Yes,” she said. “It was easier when I slept here, wasn’t it? I’d just wake you and make you talk. Now I have to come to you.”
“Why did you go?”
“You know.”
“Dickon,” I said. “So he comes to visit you.”
“You’re shocked.”
“I’m finding out quite a lot that’s shocking.”
“You mean in the papers …”
I said, “I mean about you.”
“I can’t explain my feelings for Dickon,” she said. “He’s not much more than a servant, is he?”
“Put that down to ill luck. He has some education, as much as you have. He sings beautifully and dances too.”
“He doesn’t now. He’s a puritan.”
“Yet he visits you at night?”
“He’s trying to be a puritan. He wants me to marry him.”
“That’s impossible.”
“They want me for Lord Cartonel.”
“He may not want you after the Dickon adventure.”
She laughed. “Dickon is going away. They’re sailing in a week. Fancy! I shall see him no more. I can’t bear it, Tamsyn.”
“You’ll have to.”
“Not if I went with him.”
“Senara, you’re mad. You’d have to be a puritan.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“As if you ever could!”
“I could try … as Dickon tries. I’d have my lapses … but I suspect they all do.”
“I should put such nonsense out of your mind.”
“I want to be good, Tamsyn.”
“I suppose most people do, but they want other things more.”
“I have to confess to you, Tamsyn. It’s about Fenn Landor.”
“What?” I cried.
“I couldn’t bear that you should marry and go away. It was all so right for you, wasn’t it? He was approved of by the family. And he was so good and noble and you were to live not so far from here and dear Grandmother, and he would be such a good husband. It wasn’t fair.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Senara?”
“You’re such a fool, Tamsyn. Always believing the best of everyone. You just don’t know what life’s about. You’re the eternal mother and we’re all your children. We’re a wicked lot and you think the best of us. Fenn Landor is another like you. You go through life blindly innocent of the world. Look at this place. Look what goes on here.”
“You know,” I said.
“Of course I know. I’ve spied out things. I’ve seen what goes into Ysella’s Tower. I’ve seen the men go out with their donkeys when the lights are out in the tower. I know they lure ships on to the Devil’s Teeth and they don’t save the survivors. I’m going to make a guess. You’ve found those papers and your mother knew about this and she’s written about it and you know now. And you don’t know what to do. That’s it, is it not?”
I was silent. She’s right, I thought, I’m an innocent. I don’t see what is happening about me. I do believe in the goodness of everybody. But not any more. I know someone in this house is going to murder me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said.
“Oh no. I wasn’t going to do that. I used it though … that’s what I’ve got to tell you. You see, when Jan Leward was whipped he hated our father. So did Merry. They were ready to do anything that would bring harm to him. I questioned them about what I suspected and they told me so much. They told me that the grave next to your mother’s was that of Fenn Landor’s father and they told me how his ship was wrecked and he washed up on the coast. We put the stones on the graves—it was my idea. They thought it was revenge on your father, but I wanted it for Fenn Landor. I wanted a big shock for him because I felt in my bones—and I am a bit of a witch, you know—that he was going to ask you to marry him that night. I had to stop it. It was only partly because I didn’t want you to have everything that was right and proper. I didn’t want to lose you either. So that’s what we did. Then we put one on your mother’s grave. And when I found you’d brought the stone in I took it away and threw it in the sea. It had served its purpose. Then I sent Jan to tell Fenn Landor what was going on here. He thinks you know of it.”
“Oh Senara!”
“Yes, he’ll despise you and your father, and he’ll do something about it. I know he will. He’ll be here when there’s a wreck and he’ll catch them at it. Then we’ll see what will happen. But that’s why he’s kept away from you. I’ve sent Jan over to tell him that the grave in the burial ground is that of his father. That’ll bring some action, you see.”
In spite of everything I felt a certain pleasure. There was a reason for Fenn’s absence. I could understand how shocked he must have been by Jan Leward’s revelation. I knew how he would feel because of my own bewilderment. He would be uncertain how to act, as I was.
I could explain to him and I remembered with a sudden stab of joy that I could prove I had not known of the terrible things that were happening. Had I not saved the ship by lighting the lanterns—one of the trading ships of his own company!
“You see,” Senara was going on, “I am a witch. I stir up trouble as the witches stirred up the sea when the Queen was coming from Norway. I am wicked. You could say that I have given my allegiance to Satan. I have renounced God. It’s true Tamsyn.”
“And you are talking of being a puritan?”
“You know I never would be. I talk a great deal of nonsense, Tamsyn. And then tonight … I woke up suddenly in the Red Room and I knew I had to come to you. I had to tell you. I want Fenn Landor to know the truth too.”
“Why this sudden change of front?”
“Because something is going to happen. Nothing is going to be the same again. I am a witch. I know it makes you angry when I say it. I don’t ride on broomsticks. I have no familiar, I haven’t kissed the horned goat, but I stir up the lives of those around me. That’s why I’m a witch. I’m going to give you Fenn Landor, Tamsyn. I’m going to make him believe in you. You’re my blood-sister and I’m going to make you happy for the rest of your life.”
“That’s good of you,” I said.
She laughed. “Now you’re talking to me as you used to. You’ve forgiven me. Of course you have. You always forgive. You think I’m reformed, but I’m not. I’ll be just as wicked tomorrow. It’s only tonight I’m good.”
“You must be cold too.”
“No,” she said, “I’m warm … warm in the glow of my own virtue. Soon I shall have to say goodbye to Dickon. Then I shall marry Lord Cartonel and live dangerously ever after.”
She went on talking of what her life would be like and then she was silent.
Fenn filled my thoughts. I must see him. I thought: He will come to see me and we will go away together. But what of Castle Paling and the evil things which were done there?