I found the process of writing this book cathartic. It was painful at first having to get up every day to relive the stress, anxiety, and exhaustion of that marathon. But it was worth it. The more I wrote, the more my vision cleared. And as that happened, the sense of guilt lifted. In going back through the case day by grueling day, I rediscovered not only the pain but the exhilaration. Being forced to reexamine those months made me appreciate how hard we all fought, against impossible odds, to elicit justice from that jury.
In the future I will want to tell my sons about this case. And when I do, I will be able to hand them this book and say, “This is my story. Your mother was not perfect, but she had conviction. She fought with every ounce of strength for what she thought was right.”
It’s all we can ever do.
– February 28, 1997
Acknowledgments
To the Brown and Goldman families: My deepest sympathies and gratitude for your support and understanding. I want to especially thank Fred, Patti, and Kim for their unswerving loyalty and kindness throughout this ordeal. I hope the sun is shining for you now.
To all the people who were so kind and thoughtful as to send letters, faxes, presents, and messages to show their support: You lifted my spirits and helped me get through the long, lonely days and nights. Thank you all.
To the real Dream Team: William Hodgman-you are a true friend, a team player, and a helluva lawyer. Hank Goldberg-the word “trouper” was invented for you. Your soul and brilliance were a constant source of strength and inspiration. Scott Gordon-a dear friend whose dedication and insight were indispensable to the case, and to me. Bless you and your wonderful wife, Lisa. Cheri Lewis-who innocently befriended me before the case and got repaid with a spot on the Simpson team. Your loyalty, talent, and inexhaustible energy cannot be overstated. I will be forever grateful to you. It was a joy to work with you-and we’re still having fun, hey girlfriend? Brian Kelberg-my guru. I’ve been blessed to have had the privilege of your advice and your friendship over the years. Your work was a source of pride and inspiration to us all. I wish you only the best; you deserve nothing less. Lisa Kahn thank you, Lisa, for teaching me so patiently, for making me laugh till my sides ached, for being a friend, and for your excellent work. Lydia Bodin-for your help on the domestic violence evidence, it’s been great working with you. George “Woody” Clarke and Rockne Harmon-I really can’t thank you guys enough for your brilliant work. It was an honor to have you as colleagues. Alan Yochelson, Terry White, Pat Dixon, and John Zajec-your work behind the scenes, investigating, advising, and just being supportive, was great. You’re terrific guys. Letty Minjares, my former secretary/assistant, and Cathy Ozawa-I was so lucky to get to work with you, both on the case and before. You’re both gems. The young lawyers: Dana Escobar, my dragon-slaying assistant-you were dynamite; you’re going to tear them up in court. Kenneth Lynch, Diana Martinez, David Wooden, Darrel Mavis, and Michael Runyon-you were real pros who knew how to give heart and soul. The newest lawyers: Tracy Miller-special thanks to you, Tracy, for all your help on this book after that grueling trial. Natalie Agajanian, Melissa Decker, Kathy Behfarin, Susan Dozier, Lisa Fox, Michael Price, Matthew Gibbs, and Tom Ratanavaraha-your energy, optimism, and support were unparalleled. Gavin de Becker-how many times have you come to my rescue? You are a rare and special man.
The L.A. County District Attorney investigators: Michael Stevens, Dana Thompson, Pat McPherson, Steve Oppler, Jack Gonterman, George Mueller, Bill Guidas, Brian Hale, Will Abrams, Ken Godinez, Mike Armstrong-for your outstanding investigative work, but even more for keeping us safe. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Lieutenant Gary Schram-God bless you, Gary. You were my guardian angel. I don’t know what I would have done without you.
To my friends on the LAPD-it’s been a real privilege to know you and to work with you. Thank you all.
To Media Relations-Maria Pollerana and Elka Woerner, for your dedication and understanding. Sandi Gibbons-it sure was great working with you, we’ve had some good times. I miss you. Suzanne Childs-I can’t count all the times you ran interference for me, nor can I repay you. Just know that my gratitude is endless.
Chris-for being there when I needed you, for knowing what to say when it counted, for marching through hell with me. Thank you, partner.
To all my friends in the D.A.‘s office-I’ve loved working with you and I’m proud to have known you. Gil Garcetti-there couldn’t have been a boss more understanding or supportive. It’s been an honor to have worked for you. C.H.-my former colleague, for your wisdom, support, and friendship. Bless you.
Allan Schwartz, my lawyer, and his assistant, Pie Walker-thank you for helping to make this book possible.
I want to thank my wonderful literary agent, Dan Conaway, and the incredibly smart, creative and patient Taylor Templeton and Julie Trelstad for their indispensable help and advice in putting this e-book together. I couldn’t-and wouldn’t-have done it without all of you. You have my undying gratitude.
Norman Brokaw, chairman and CEO of William Morris, my friend, and my guide, and his assistants Mary Feinberg, Linda Pollack-Violante, and Dana Schelette; and also Maggie, who kindly turned her house over for this effort. Joni Evans and her assistant, Sarah Rosen, for all your hard work above and beyond the call of duty. William Novak, who helped out of sheer goodness. Esther Newberg; her assistant, Jack Horner; and Victor Kovner, who cheered us on from the wings.
Viking Penguin: Pamela Dorman and Barbara Grossman, I can never adequately thank you for your vision, support, and unflagging belief in this project. I’d also like to applaud the editorial team who worked overtime and beyond: Susan Hans O’Connor; Victoria Wright, our transcriber; Mervyn Keizer; Dot McMahon, photo researcher; in-house counsel Karen Mayer and Maura Wogan of Frankfurt, Garbus, Klein & Selz; copyeditor Jolanta Benal, and Cynthia Achar, Roni Axelrod, Paul Buckley, Leigh Butler, Hal Fessenden, Kate Griggs, Cathy Hemming, Patti Kelly, Laurie Rippon, Teddy Rosenbaum, and Jaye Zimet. Special thanks to Phyllis Grann and Michael Lynton. I’m so proud of our team, who pulled together to make the vision come true. Thank you.
Judith Forman, my lawyer and dear friend, and her assistant, Ruth Becker-how did you put up with me? My gratitude is boundless. Thank you so much for all you’ve done. Mark Fleischer and Susan Fleischer-you were balm on an aching soul. You’re wonderful. Allen Edwards and Eugenia West-my hair and my face-thank you. Roz Dauber, my “oldest” friend-I mean my only childhood friend. Thank you for being there for me. So who woulda thunk it, Rozzie? Jon, my brother-could there ever be a better brother? Brother, confidant, therapist, you name it, that’s what you’ve been to me, through thick and thin, all my life. I love you, Jonnie. Lynn Reed-my best friend, sister for life. I swear we were separated at birth. You were there through some of my darkest hours. Could I have made it without you? I don’t know, and I’m glad I didn’t have to find out. I don’t think anyone ever owed a friend more. All my love and gratitude to you, Marc, and Matthew.
Mitchell Kashmar-how did I get so lucky to have found you? Your love and support got me through so many rough spots, not to mention the ordeal of writing this book. You’ve made my whole world brighter. I could write reams about it, but I’ll just say it this way: I love you.