“Hell, I don’t know what we do,” Corbin grumbled.
My goal for the coming year, a year that may result in consequential changes to the manner in which we operate, is to introduce a new paradigm to the office that is both forward looking, pragmatic, and goal oriented, though consistent with our core mission.
“What the heck does that mean?” Beckett asked.
Notwithstanding recent changes in our enacting legislation, I expect we will see significant alterations to our regulations. As many of you have recognized in the past, our regulations are some of the most complex in the world, and are not easily understood.
“Did he just say our regulations suck?” Molly asked, as a smile crept across her face.
“That’s how I took it. Maybe this is his mea culpa?”
“Can’t wait to see what he confesses next. My money’s on erectile dysfunction.”
Corbin let out a surprised laugh, which he immediately covered with a phony cough.
Consequently, I am normally hesitant to discuss alterations to our regulations with an audience of this size. Yet, I am confident that the people in this room are some of the brightest in our industry. Thus, I am confident that I can address these matters without fear of giving an impenetrable speech.
“Bingo!” Molly whispered.
“Bingo?”
“‘Impenetrable’. I also would have accepted ‘flaccid’ or ‘impotent’.”
The concerns many commentators raised in response to our requests for comments notwithstanding, significant pressure has been building for the issuance of new regulations.
“This is boring,” Molly said, as she began kicking the empty seat in front of her.
It has been said that achieving the right level of regulation is the most difficult balancing act one can perform because you never know if the regulations are correct until after they are implemented. It is like the problem of knowing when you are in love. You may think you are in love a dozen times, and each time you believe with absolute certainty that you are correct. But it is not until you truly are in love that you realize that each of the prior times was not love, but something lesser.
“What the heck does love have to do with our regulations?” Molly whispered. She wrinkled her nose. “Do you think our regs might be worth reading?”
Corbin shook his head and mouthed the word “no.”
The process of regulation is much the same as figuring out whether you’re in love. You create regulations that appear to be correct, only to discover later that you were not correct, although with each passing attempt, you ultimately draw closer. This time, with our new proposed regulations, I believe that our regulations finally truly are correct.
“This is nonsense. What an awful speech. I wonder how much longer this is going to last?” Corbin asked as he checked his watch.
Finally, let me address the issue of staffing.
“Here it comes, get your waders on.”
Our office is dangerously understaffed. We are so understaffed that our mission is being imperiled and a significant backlog of work is developing. This may cause our service to suffer. Unfortunately, we cannot correct that situation alone. We need each of you, who recognizes the importance of what we do, to contact your representatives and demand increased support for our office.
Beckett looked around the room. “Do you think anybody’s buying this?” He no longer bothered to whisper.
“Who knows, some people will believe anything.” Corbin stopped whispering as well.
It is a large backlog and will require significant man hours to overcome.
Beckett whispered to Corbin. “I had another thought about the duffel bag.”
“This isn’t the best place to discuss that,” Corbin said, nodding his head toward Molly.
“She can’t hear me.”
“Let’s not test it.”
Again, notwithstanding the criticism leveled, our actual experience is quite different.
Molly rolled her eyes. “I wish he’d stop saying ‘notwithstanding!’” Suddenly the room erupted in applause, which dissipated almost instantly, as people began streaming toward the reception area at the back of the room. “‘bout flippin’ time,” Molly said, as she grabbed her purse. “You boys staying for the reception?”
“Not on a bet.”
“Good, who wants to buy me lunch?”
The following morning, Kak sent out an e-mail praising Wilson’s speech. Kak called the speech “brilliant and visionary,” causing much hilarity in Corbin and Beckett’s office. Kak did not acknowledge Theresa’s assistance. Around noon, Corbin paid Theresa a visit.
“Nice speech, very subtle.”
“I figured you’d get it.” Theresa smiled.
“Oh, I think we all got it, except for Kak and Wilson that is.”
“Do you know that bastard didn’t even give me credit for writing the thing?” Theresa complained.
“Did you want credit?”
“Absolutely not.”
Corbin leaned against a large filing cabinet. “On this thing with Molly. . I wouldn’t worry too much about what Molly says. Nobody really listens to her.”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“All right. Beckett and I are going to lunch, if you want to tag along.”
“No. Thank you, though. I’ve got something I need to finish. Maybe tomorrow?” she said, but without sincerity.
“Sure. Catch you later then.”
Corbin turned to leave. However, as he put his hand on the doorknob, Theresa spoke: “Tell me you don’t like her?”
“Who?”
“Molly. Tell me you aren’t interested in her?”
Corbin didn’t expect this. “Come again?”
“I have no illusion that you and I will ever. . but as a friend. . she’s bad news. She enjoys tearing people down. Be careful with her,” Theresa said quietly. She rose and looked out her window. “That’s all I wanted to say.”
“I have no interest in her,” he responded.
Chapter 10
With two days to go, Corbin and Beckett spent the morning going over a map of downtown Philadelphia. Corbin marked each mailbox store and bank on the map. Together, they plotted the route Beckett and Alvarez would take. After finishing with the map, Corbin reached into his briefcase and produced a clear plastic bag containing a wallet and some papers. This was one of the packets which would be inside the duffel bag.
“Each plastic bag has a name on it and a colored dot.”
“Colored dot, check,” Beckett said, nodding his head.
“The dot is very important because it lets you match the right phones with the right addresses and the right wallets. Each wallet contains a drivers license, a social security card, and $220 in cash.”
“That’s a lot of cash between all those packets.”
“It takes money to make money.”
Beckett again nodded his agreement.
“Each packet contains a wallet, a fake lease and a fake utility bill,” Corbin continued. “When you buy a cell phone, put a colored sticker on the back and write the phone number on the sticker. From that moment on, that phone will go with any packet bearing the same colored dot.”
“Got it.”
“Same thing with the mailboxes. When you open a box, put a colored sticker on the back of the paperwork. Use this chart to decide which color dot to use for each mailbox.” Corbin handed Beckett a piece of paper the size of a playing card. “You need to follow that chart so the street addresses on the leases and the utility bills match the street addresses of the mailboxes. I need that to organize the accounts. Once you have the right color dot on the paperwork, go through each packet with the same colored dot and handwrite the mailbox number on the lease.” Corbin handed Beckett the fake lease from the packet.
Beckett verified where the box number would be added.