Corbin took the folder back. “Don’t start handing out any poison apples.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Theresa replied innocently, fluttering her eyes. “Poison’s far too slow,” she purred.
Beckett walked over to his filing cabinet. “I don’t want to know any more.”
Theresa looked at him. The smile on her face faded. She looked at Corbin, but he also seemed unwilling to continue the discussion. Annoyed at their lack of participation, she slid off Corbin’s desk and headed for the door. “I’m sorry to hear your date didn’t go well, Alex.” Her tone did not match her words. “But at least you’re still on the market, that’s all that matters. . you’ll come around.”
When Theresa left, Corbin whispered across the room to Beckett: “See what I mean?!”
“She’s just lonely,” Beckett said, picking up his newspaper. “She’s got nice legs though.”
“Yeah, and she’s got something else too.”
“What?”
“My watch.”
“She did say you’d come around.” They both laughed.
A few minutes later, Kak burst into their office without knocking. He never knocked. It was immediately obvious he was furious. His face had turned bright red and was trending toward purple.
“What. . what do you think you’re doing?!” Kak had difficulty expressing himself when he became nervous or angry, and the angrier he became the worse it got. “If you have problems. . problems with the office, then you. . then you tell me! You don’t. . you don’t do this!” Kak rubbed his palm against his receding hairline as he yelled, and his gray beard shook. As he breathed, the buttons on his dingy, polyester short-sleeve dress shirt strained to contain his stomach. He wore no tie today, and no one even knew if he owned a suit jacket.
“What are you talking about?!” Beckett demanded.
“Th. . this!” Kak waved a piece of paper at Beckett, before tossing it at him.
Beckett caught it out of the air. It was a GSA “pre-inspection” form everyone had filled out. GSA, the General Services Administration, was conducting inspections before renegotiating the office lease, and they wanted to know everything that needed to be fixed. Unlike everyone else, Beckett filled his out accurately.
“What’s wrong with it?” Beckett asked.
“What are you trying to. . to do?!”
“I’m not going to sign off on this office being safe without listing the things I think are unsafe.”
“You’re not a s. . safety. . you’re no expert!”
“No, but I know exposed wires aren’t safe. Sparks aren’t safe. I know mold isn’t safe. I know people around here have a lot of respiratory problems.”
“Y. . you’re not the expert! Let the expert do his job.”
“All I did was fill out the form honestly. The form asks for comments. I made those comments. What do you want me to do differently?”
Kak glared at Beckett. His face was now purple, but his eyes registered trepidation. Beckett followed the form to the letter, and Kak could do nothing about it, but that didn’t stop him from getting very, very angry. Kak moved his mouth, but no sound came out.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that? What did you want me to do differently?” Beckett repeated.
Kak took a deep breath before continuing in a low growl. “If you make these claims, GSA will. . will need to address these with the. . with the landlord. There’s no reason to draw outside attention to this office!”
Beckett didn’t back down. “What do you want me to do?” This wasn’t a question so much as a direct challenge. “Tell me exactly what I should do, and I’ll do it.”
“Small conference!” Kak roared, and he stormed off.
Beckett sighed and shook his head. “I’ll be back.”
No sooner had Beckett left, than Molly appeared at the door, holding a half-eaten cookie in her right hand. Molly’s office abutted Corbin and Beckett’s, and she often overheard what happened in their office, especially when the door was open.
“’Sup? Rumor has it Kak invited your buddy to his lair.”
“What are you doing, loitering in front of our office?” Corbin pointed at the cookie. “Hey, I know that cookie! I see you two came to terms?”
“Yeah, we worked something out.”
“Looks like you got the better end of the deal though.”
“Some you win, some you lose. So what does Kak want with your little friend?”
“Kak wants to make sure all of Evan’s safety concerns are properly addressed.”
Molly wrinkled her nose. “Did you ever notice Kak looks a lot like Santa, only evil?”
Corbin chuckled. “Yeah, that struck me too. Are you going for coffee?”
“Uh, hello! Cookie! Where do you think I got this?” Molly waved the cookie around.
“So you’ve already been?”
“You know, they’re right about you. . you’re smart.”
“All right. Go paint your nails or whatever you do around here,” Corbin responded patronizingly. It was well-known Molly spent most of her day working on her nails or reading the paper. She preferred filing her nails into squares, rather than ovals, and painting them in darker colors rather than light. In newspapers, she preferred The Post, as do most government workers. When it came towork-related activities, she was less particular.
Molly placed her left hand on her hip and stomped her foot, causing cookie crumbs to fall to the floor. At the same time, she used her best exasperated voice to half-shout: “Are you trying to be sexist?!”
Corbin laughed. “No, but that’s all I’ve ever seen you do around here.”
“I’ve done other things.”
“I’m sure.” Corbin chuckled.
Molly moved the cookie from her right hand to her left and shook the crumbs from her right hand onto Corbin’s floor. “Is your buddy going to complain to Wilson about Kak and this safety thing?” Cooper Wilson was Kak’s boss, though he could rarely be found at the office.
“No, no point in that. Wilson’s just a continuation of Kak by other means.”
“Ain’t that the truth. Well, I should get back to my office. I wouldn’t want to interfere with your work,” Molly said, motioning toward the magazine on Corbin’s desk. “Oh, and if you ever feel like painting your nails,” Molly said with a wink, “just drop by.”
A few minutes later, Beckett returned to the office. He was whistling.
“You seem chipper,” Corbin said suspiciously. “How’d it go?”
“He had me sign a new form. He also told me to hide the wires behind a box. He’s paranoid it will reflect poorly on him if GSA learns about these problems.”
“Give me a break! He’s not even responsible for acquiring the building or maintaining it. Why should he care?”
“I think he’s afraid of outsiders snooping around.”
“Figures. So he got you to recant?”
“On the new form, yes.” Beckett smiled. “But, I also swiped the old form.”
“You know. . you might want to let this go.”
“No. I’m not letting him get away with making us work in a dangerous environment when all he has to do is tell GSA what the problems are and they can have them fixed. I’m standing firm on this one.”
“Don’t make waves. We’ve got more important issues to deal with right now.”
“Do you know ‘The Rime of the Ancient Mariner’? That’s my favorite poem from back in grade school. Kak is our albatross.”
“I thought the Mariner shot the albatross. I don’t recall ever shooting Kak.”
“You’re thinking too literally. It’s about salvation.”
Corbin rolled his eyes.
“You should hear this, it could be important?”
“No, thanks. Besides, isn’t it time for you to call your wife?”
Beckett looked at his watch. Every day in the afternoon, Beckett called his wife to make up for not being able to come home for lunch. Even though they’d been married almost twenty years, Beckett still went out of his way to provide little romantic gestures, like bringing flowers or making these calls. “So it is.”