“My dear Gail,” said Aynur.
Immediately I tensed with terror, on my belly, on the mat. I feared to be struck again.
She had approached, barefoot, as are most slaves, softly on the tiles. I had not heard her.
“I am sorry I displeased you, Mistress,” I said. “Please do not strike me again!”
“You are only a pretty little barbarian slave,” she said. “How could you know what you were doing? Here, I have brought some soothing lotion for your back. Lie still.”
“Mistress?” I said.
“Ah,” she said, “is that not better.”
“Yes, Mistress,” I said, tensely. The lotion was cool on my striped back.
“Mistress?” I asked, frightened.
“You should not have gone on the stones,” she said. “You might have injured your feet.”
“Yes, Mistress,” I said.
“Your feet are to be soft and pretty,” she said.
“Yes, Mistress,” I said.
“You are a pleasure-garden girl, you know,” she said.
“Yes, Mistress,” I said.
She continued to apply the lotion.
“After this,” she said, “if you want to go into the garden during the rest period, you should ask me, first.”
“Of course, Mistress,” I said. “Forgive me, Mistress.”
“And if, in the future, you should see someone in the garden, someone you suspect may have no right to be there, you should hurry in and inform me.”
“Yes, Mistress,” I said. “I am sorry, Mistress, that I pleased him.”
“You are only a little barbarian,” she said, gently. “You could not please such a man.”
“Yes, Mistress,” I said. I was not truly sorry, of course, that I had pleased the visitor. I had been hungry to do so. Too, I was sure that I could please him at least as well as she. Indeed, some men like barbarians. They put us though our paces quite well. And I had little doubt that I could tell when a man was pleased and when he was not. One does not wear a collar long before one becomes quite adept at such determinations. Indeed, if they are not pleased, we are likely to soon find out about it, at the receiving end of the leather, of a switch, or strap, or whip.
“That is better, isn’t it?” she asked, leaning back, putting the lotion to one side, wiping her hands on a towel.
“Yes, Mistress,” I said, gratefully.
“I will return in a moment,” she said, “with your supper.”
When she returned I sat up, and ate. She had brought some choice viands, perhaps begging from the meals of men. Too, she had a small, shallow bowl of wine.
“Thank you, Mistress,” I said, finishing this repast. “I am terribly sorry I did wrong earlier. I did not wish to annoy you, or displease you. You are very kind.”
“Now,” she said, “let us remove this heavy, ugly shackle from your ankle.”
She opened the shackle and put it, on its chain, the chain running to the ring, to one side. She held the keys to such things.
“Now, she said, “you may come and go as you please, within the quarters of course.”
“Thank you, Mistress,” I said.
No other girls were now with us in the rest area, not even Tima and Tana, who were her assistants.
“You are very kind,” I said.
“It is nothing,” she said, kissing me lightly on the cheek. She then gathered up the dish and bowl and left.
I lay back down on the mat.
I did not understand this change in Aynur’s behavior. I was sure she had been outraged at finding me in the arms of the tall, longhaired man. I had little doubt that he came sometimes to see Aynur. Earlier, in the garden, she had seemed almost insanely jealous of his attentions to me. Indeed, she had been humiliated before me, and her assistants, by being put to her knees by him, and by having to fetch his sandals, sandals which he then, pointedly, had me tie. I would not have thought that such insults would have been easily passed over by a woman such as Aynur. Too, she would have her needs, doubtless as keen and stressful as those of others. In this house, in the garden, there was much pain. Sometimes, to be sure, we entertained, in the house or garden, some singing and playing, others, such as I, fetching food and drink, attending on the guests, then all of us, later, as we might be selected, or allotted, or assigned, serving, as slaves. But it was not enough for us. Could that not be told simply by looking at our necks, and seeing that there were collars there? Did this detail not serve as token, if none other, that slave fires had been lit in our bellies? Had men not seen to it?
After a time the other girls began to enter the room, one or two at a time. I took little notice of them. Under Aynur’s supervision they surrendered their silks and jewelry. Soon, when the house master made his check, with his lamp, we would all be on our mats, even Aynur. I heard a guard close the gate to the garden. I heard the bolts thrown in the locks. In this house we were not to speak after the nineteenth Ahn. I recalled the tall, long-haired man. I wondered what he had been doing in the garden. He was apparently known in the house, but I had not seen him before. How I had leaped to his touch, how I had obeyed him! How I must have amused him, in his arms, I so unable to conceal myself from him. How well he knew me now, as the slave I was! He had wanted to know the location of the pens in which I had been trained, even the accents of my original captors. He wanted to know if I could read a certain word, which I could not, and if I could recognize a certain sign. The sign, of course, had been the sign, or name, of the city, Ar. I knew that. It is on many seals, and such. And most frighteningly he had wanted to know if I had ever heard of a slave named “Janice,” if I had ever been to Treve. I think I was entitled to be afraid. It was not as though I could run, or hide. I had never ever been allowed out of this house, save in the garden. Doors were bolted, gates were locked. There were walls, and guards. And even more devastatingly I was a slave. There was no escape for me. I did not control my own destiny. It was in the hands of others, the masters. I was afraid. I was miserable.
“Extinguish the lamps, my lovely sisters in bondage,” said Aynur, pleasantly.
One by one the lamps were extinguished.
Aynur seemed in a good mood this evening. I am sure that that anomaly was muchly appreciated by all of us. On of the whole, Aynur was quite strict with us. We must, for example, for the inspection of the house master, kneel with our knees in line, and spread to the appropriate angle. Our backs must be straight. Our chins must be elevated to the proper height, our hands must be placed exactly so on our thighs, and so on. She was quick with her switch. She kept us under excellent discipline.
I lay there on the mat for a little while in the darkness.
The room was very quiet.
I was exhausted, and my back still hurt, despite the soothing lotion.
I decided that there was no reason to be afraid, really.
After all, the man had gone away, and I was safe in the house.
Too, more importantly, I had denied knowing a “Janice.” I had denied ever having been in Treve.
That should finish the matter.