“He’s from my home town,” Gordon said. He mentioned the name of the town. Ruby said that she’d never been there but she knew lots of people who had, and they all agreed that it was the most beautiful place in the country.
“I certainly intend to go there,” she said. “I’ve just never found the time and my parents are terribly old school. They think girls should stay home all the time.”
“Do you work any place?”
“Just for the fun of it I’m working at the perfume counter in Magrim’s. Honestly, the people you meet! I never had any idea how the other half lives.”
“Didn’t you?” Gordon smiled at her innocence.
“Actually I’m not crazy about working, but it’s better than sitting at home watching Daddy fuss over his silly stamps and coins. A girl should get out on her own, don’t you agree?”
Gordon agreed.
Ruby’s “party” failed to appear. Gordon had intended to go to a movie by himself but he couldn’t think of any polite way to abandon the girl. She was too young to sit around a hotel lobby alone so Gordon offered to get her a taxi and send her home.
“That’s terribly kind of you,” Ruby said with a rueful little smile. “But I guess it wouldn’t do much good for me to go home this early. Mummy and Daddy are out tonight and I haven’t got a key.”
Gordon took her along to the movie. She was a trusting little thing. Even though he was a complete stranger she seemed to rely on him already and when they walked down the dark aisle she put her hand on his coat sleeve, tugging at it like a child who doesn’t want to be left behind.
Three days later she still didn’t want to be left behind.
“Don’t go, Gordon, please.”
“I have to. You don’t understand. I told you about Elaine and the children and my work.”
“Take me with you.”
“I can’t, Ruby.”
“Will you be back?”
“You know I will.”
“I’m afraid you’ll change your mind.”
“I would if I could,” Gordon said quietly. “It’s too late, I love you.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“What if I never see you again?” she sobbed. “What if you change your mind?”
“I won’t.” He held her in his arms while she wept. “I’ll be back, darling. Don’t worry, don’t cry.”
She sobbed over and over again, “What if I never see you again?”
He drove home alone, buoyant, frightened, intoxicated, ashamed of himself, confused, in love. Once or twice as he drove along the rocky coast he thought of sending himself and the car over the cliff, but he didn’t do it, and when he got home, Elaine seemed genuinely glad to see him.
Elaine fussed over him, unpacked his suitcase, and told him he was looking tired.
“Staying up late at all those burlesque shows, I bet!” she said with a gay laugh.
“I didn’t go to any burlesque shows.”
“My goodness, I thought that’s what conventions were for!”
He looked at her steadily. “Did you?”
“What’s the matter with you, Gordon? Can’t you take a joke any more?”
“It depends on the joke.”
“As if I didn’t know you have too much self-respect to go to a burlesque show,” Elaine said reproachfully. “What did you do with your evenings?”
“I went to the movies,” Gordon said. I fell in love with a girl named Ruby. At first I thought she was just an innocent, wide-eyed kid, and then afterwards at the movie I thought she was an ordinary pick-up. When it was too late I found out something else — she was a virgin.
Four days later he had a letter from her. During office hours he kept the letter in his pocket and at night he left it in the office safe.
Dear Gordon:
I guess by this time you’ve forgotten all about me and I wouldn’t blame you, really I wouldn’t Gordon, I’m not worthy to shine your shoes. In fact I’ve got some things on my conscience and I thought I’d tell you, then if you’ve forgotten me you can just read this and forget it too, but if you haven’t and if you still feel about me the way I do about you, you will know anyway that I’m trying to play fair and square with you. Well, here goes, Gordon.
I wasn’t waiting for anybody that night in the lobby, I was just sitting there. I was walking home and I got tired so I went and sat there pretending I was waiting for someone because otherwise it wouldn’t be good taste. Isn’t it funny Gordon that if my feet hadn’t been hurting I wouldn’t ever have met you. I’m glad I did, no matter what happens to us I’ll never be sorry. I swear on my honor I never did that before, talking to a strange man like that and I will never do it again. I haven’t even looked at another man since you left, what’s the use they look silly beside you.
Point two: I told you I lived with my parents, this isn’t true either because my parents are divorced and have married other people and I live with my aunt and cousin, my cousin is older than I and she has a good job. I guess you will think I am a terrible liar. I don’t know why I said that about my parents I haven’t seen them for years, but I want you to know the truth now anyway because I love you Gordon. I’ve never been in love before only crushes.
I guess that’s all Gordon. I hope you won’t hate me the way I hate myself for telling you those lies, but I wouldn’t blame you if you turned against me. I am not good enough for you maybe I never will be but I’m going to try hard. I think of you all the time, please write to me Gordon. I love you. Ruby.
Every evening, while Hazel was cleaning up the front office, Gordon went into the lab and sat down on the high stool. He read the letter over and over and then he put his head down on the lab table and wept without tears.
Ruby arrived in town three weeks later. She came by bus carrying a suitcase containing two letters from Gordon, a few clothes and her aunt’s red fox neckpiece (borrowed for a limited time only). She had nearly two hundred dollars, scraped together from various sources. Seventy dollars was her own, her cousin lent her twenty-five, and a hundred came from her father in Seattle. She had written to him for the first time in two years telling him she was going to be married and needed money for a trousseau. Her father sent her a check and a note wishing her happiness and telling her not to mention the check to her mother under any circumstances.
She took a room in a boarding house a couple of blocks from the bus terminal. Here she unpacked her suitcase, shook out the red fox neckpiece and washed her face. Then she went to the nearest café to phone Gordon and have something to eat.
She sat down in a booth, trembling with weariness and excitement. She was here at last, in the same city as Gordon, perhaps even just a few blocks from him right this minute. From now on all her days would be colored by the possibility of seeing Gordon. He might be walking past the café right now (she looked and could see nothing beyond the closed Venetian blind) and every time she stepped out of the door she might catch a glimpse of his car. She had memorized the license number on that first night, standing on the curb outside Gordon’s hotel. She had repeated it aloud over and over, without realizing why. Everything that concerned Gordon had become absorbingly important to her, with the exception of Elaine. She thought of Elaine vaguely as a shadow-figure crossing Gordon’s path now and then without touching him or interfering with him. Ruby’s one-sided imagination flung a veil over Elaine and her children, her own future, her financial difficulties, Gordon’s reputation, and any preconceived notions she had of right and wrong. Right was something you were going to do anyway, and if it didn’t justify itself afterwards it became wrong. Ruby’s mind worked with disastrous simplicity. It was “wrong” to lie to Gordon about her parents, but it was “right” to follow him here without telling him about it in advance or asking his opinion.