"All right, I know that. But I don't even have a pack. And ... well, it somehow makes me feel I'm using you badly when-"
"Nervous about riding me, is that it?" She grinned at him and rolled her eyes. "Next you'll be suggesting that you walk sometimes, to give me a rest, right?"
"Something like that."
"Chris, there's nothing more boring than taking a walk with a human."
"Not even watching one sleep?"
"You got me. That's more boring."
"You seem to find us tedious."
"Not at all, you are endlessly fascinating. One never knows what a human will do next, or from what motive. If we had universites, the best-attended classes would be in the Department of Human Studies. But I'm young and impatient, as the Wizard pointed out. If you wish, you may walk, and I will endeavor to slow down. I don't know how the others will like it."
"Forget it," Chris said. "I just don't want to be a burden. Literally."
"You aren't," she assured him. "When you ride me, my heart lifts and my feet fly like the wind." She was looking into his eyes with an odd expression on her face. He could not read it, but it made him want to change the subject.
"Why are you here, Valiha? Why are you in this boat, making this trip?"
"You mean just me or the other Titanides?" She went on without waiting for an answer. "Psaltery is here because he goes where Gaby goes. The same for Hornpipe. As for Hautbois, I presume it is because the Wizard often grants a child to those who circumnavigate the great river."
"Really?" He laughed. "I wonder if she'll grant me a child when I get back?" He expected her to laugh, but there was that look again. "But you didn't say why you were coming. You're ... well, you're pregnant, aren't you?"
"Yes. Chris, I'm really sorry about running off and leaving you. I could-"
"Never mind that. You already apologized, and it makes me nervous to watch it anyway. But shouldn't you be taking it easy?"
"That's far in the future. It doesn't inconvenience us much anyway. And I'm here because it's a great honor to go with the Wizard. And because you are my friend."
Once again there was that look.
"Can I join you?"
Chris looked up, startled. He had not been asleep, but neither had he been precisely awake. His knees were stiff from maintaining the same position for hours.
"Sure. Come aboard." Gaby's canoe had pulled alongside Chris and Valiha. Gaby stepped from one to the other and sat in front of Chris. She cocked her head to one side and looked dubious.
"Are you all right?"
"If you mean, am I crazy right now, you'd be the best judge of that."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"No, I'm serious." And a little hurt, he admitted to himself. One had to stop feeling apologetic about it sometime or lose all self-respect. "I never know when I'm having what the doctors call an episode. It always seems perfectly reasonable behavior to me at the time."
She looked sympathetic. "It must be terrible. I mean, to..... She looked at the sky and whistled thinly for a moment. "Gaby, shut your big mouth," she said. She looked back at him. "I didn't come to embarrass you, no matter what it might look like. Can we start over?"
"Hi! So good of you to drop in."
"We should get together more often!" Gaby beamed back at him. "There were a few things I wanted to say, and then I'll have to run." She still seemed to feel awkward because having proclaimed that, she said nothing more for several minutes. She studied her hands, her feet, the interior of the boat. She looked at everything but Chris.
"I wanted to apologize for what happened on the dock," she said at last.
"Apologize? To me? I don't think I'm the one who needs it."
"You're not the one who needs it the most, obviously. But I can't talk to her until she's cooled off. Then I'll crawl to her on my belly or do whatever she wants me to do to wipe it out. Because she's right, you know. She did nothing to deserve that."
"That was my estimation, too."
Gaby grimaced, but managed to look him in the eye.
"Right. And in a larger sense, none of you deserved it. We're all in this together, and you all have a right to expect better behavior of me. I want you to know that you can in the future."
"I'll accept that. Consider it forgotten." He reached out and shook her hand. When she made no move to leave, he thought it might be time to go a little deeper into the problem. But it wasn't an easy thing to bring up.
"I was wondering... ." She raised her eyebrows and seemed relieved. "Well, to be blunt, what can we expect of Cirocco? Robin isn't the only one who isn't impressed so far."
She nodded and ran both hands through her short hair.
"That's what I wanted to talk about, really. I want you to realize that you've seen only one side of her. There's more. Quite a lot more, actually."
He said nothing.
"Right. What can you expect? Frankly, not a lot for the next few days. Robin was telling the truth when she said Rocky's luggage is mostly alcohol. I dropped most of it in the drink a few minutes ago. It took me three days to get her presentable for Carnival, and as soon as it was over, she spun off the wheel again. She'll want to drink more when she wakes up, and I'll let her, a little, because tapering her off is easier than cold turkey. After that I'll keep just a little bit, for emergencies, in Psaltery's saddlebag."
She leaned forward and looked at him earnestly. "I know this is going to be hard to believe, but in a few days, when she gets over the withdrawal and away from the memories of Carnival, she'll be okay. You're seeing her at her worst. At her best, she's got more guts than all of us put together. And more decency, and compassion, and ... there's no use my telling you that. You'll either see it for yourself or always think she's a sot."
"I'm willing to keep an open mind about it," Chris offered.
She studied his face in that intense way of hers. He felt every gram of her considerable energy boring in, as if her whole being were intent on knowing what was inside him, and he didn't like it. It felt as if she could see things even he was not aware of.
"I think you will," she said at last.
Another silence descended. Chris felt sure she had more to say, so he prompted her again.
"I don't understand about Carnival," he said. "You said, get away from the memories of Carnival. Why is that necessary?"
She put her elbows on her knees and laced her fingers together.
"What did you see at Carnival?" She didn't wait for an answer. "A lot of singing and dancing and feasting, lots of pretty colors, flowers, good food. The tourists would love Carnival, but the Titanides don't let them go see it. The reason is it's a very serious business."
"I know that. I understand what it's for."
"You think you do. You understand the primary purpose, I'll grant you. It's an effective method of population control, which is something nobody's ever liked, human or Titanide, when it's aimed at them. It's fine for those other trashy folks." She raised her eyebrows, and he nodded.
"What did you think of the Wizard's part in the Carnival?" she asked.
He considered it. "She seemed to take it seriously. I don't know what standards she was using, but she seemed to be making a thorough study of all the proposals."
Gaby nodded. "She does. She knows more about Titanide breeding than Titanides do. She's older than any of them. She's been going to Carnivals for seventy-five years now.
"At first she liked them." Gaby shrugged. "Who wouldn't? She's a very big cheese here in Gaea, which you and Robin don't really seem to grasp yet. At Carnival, she gets her ego built up. Everybody needs that. Maybe she's been a little too eager to get it, but that's not for me to judge." She looked away from him again, and he thought, correctly as it turned out, that she did have a few judgments to make on that subject. He realized Gaby was one of those people who cannot look someone in the face while lying to them. He liked her for it; he was the same way.