"You are not sure? Where is your loyalty, Fraser -san?Where is your honor if you do not fulfill your oath to aid him?"
"I was young when I swore to help Michi achieve his goal. I am older now. Times have changed, needs have been superseded. A true samurai understands when he must subordinate his honor to a greater honor, and the threat of the Clans overpowers any one person's needs. Michi himself was willing to set aside his vengeance, back in the thirties, when your son Theodore persuaded him that the Combine needed the service of all her samurai. Then the threat was only the Federated Commonwealth, a mere inconvenience compared to the danger posed by the Clans. How could he think of disrupting the Combine now?"
Takashi leaned back in his chair. "Then he has abandoned his vendetta?"
"I believe so. He has not been seen in the Combine for almost two years. But, as I said, I have not communicated with him for much longer than that."
"Communicated? You draw a distinction." Takashi grunted. "When was the last time you spoke with him?"
"We've met only once since the end of the war with Davion. I knew he didn't want to be warlord anymore and asked him to join the Ryuken. He said that he was not worthy, that he had failed as a samurai and would retire from the world." Dechan paused, remembering the pain of that meeting. "He also told me to stay out of his life."
"Yet you persist in your friendship. That shows loyalty, and misplaced loyalty is dangerous. Where is he now?"
Wishing he had another answer, Dechan replied, "I don't know."
"What would you do if I told you where to find him?"
"I don't know that, either."
"You are honest. Not subtle enough to be a Kuritan, Fraser -san." Takashi gestured to the writing desk. "For your years of service to the Dragon, I grant you the reward of life."
Dechan looked at the desk, wondering what was written on the scroll. He made no move to take it. Whatever the trial had been, Dechan had passed. But with Takashi's next words, Dechan realized that a new trial had begun.
"Before you came to the service of the Dragon, you were a member of Wolf's Dragoons."
Honesty had saved him before. "I have never hidden that fact."
"A warrior must not hide his affiliations. No one in the Inner Sphere can deny that the Dragoons are redoubtable warriors and, as such, worthy of respect. You fought by their side in the past, but you did not fight by their side when the Clans came to Luthien. Why was this?"
Dechan had wondered about the answer to that question himself. "I was fighting with the Ryuken."
"You have shown me you are a man who values loyalty. Your record with the Ryuken shows you are a warrior of considerable merit. The Ryuken was only raiding; the true battle was on Luthien."
Dechan was angry. Takashi's badgering reminded him of the shame he'd felt then. The Dragoons had returned to the Combine, but without a word to him. If they had called for him, he would have left the Ryuken, who didn't really need him. But, once again, no word had come from the Dragoons. He knew Takashi would hear the anger underlying his words as he said, "I was not called."
"So far."
Takashi seemed satisfied. Dechan cursed him for finding satisfaction in another man's shame.
"Yet you still harbor loyalties to the Dragoons."
Takashi's statement was a truth Dechan avoided admitting to himself, the reactor that fueled his pain. Admitting any loyalty to the Dragoons in the presence of the Coordinator could be lethal. "I have done nothing to undermine the strength of the Dragon," he said, the lie amid the truths.
"That is not at issue," Takashi said, dismissing the comment. The Coordinator fell silent, leaving Dechan to wonder what the issue was. Takashi sat and Dechan knelt. The room was silent for many minutes. Finally Takashi spoke, his voice dreamy.
"How would you characterize Jaime Wolf, Tai-saFraser?"
"He is a fine commander."
"Fine? That is all you can say about a man who obviously inspires such loyalty in you that you hate him for it?"
"I don't hate him."
"Don't you? He abandoned you and your wife. For years you worked as his agent, watching me and mine. Yes, I know. The ISF is diligent and not half so foolish as some people believe. How often have you wondered why Wolf did not use you to convey his subversive invitation to my son? How often have you pondered the stain on your honor that his distrust brings you?"
Stunned by the Coordinator's revelation of knowledge, Dechan stammered, "I don't—"
"Your quarrels with your wife say otherwise," Takashi snapped. "Do not call me a liar!"
"Gomen kudasai,Coordinator -sama. Shitsurei shi-"
"Your apology is that of a Kuritan, but you are not Kuritan. You are only forgiven because you are a barbarian and it is expected that you will speak like a barbarian. Still, you are a warrior and a warrior does not lie."
Takashi turned away, pondering something. At length the tension bled from his shoulders. "A warrior's honor is his life. If he has no honor, he has no need for life. What is your place in the feud between Wolf's Dragoons and my House?"
"I have no place in it. I thought the feud had ended when the Dragoons helped defend Luthien."
"A safe answer, but no less untrue." Takashi laughed harshly. "If I ordered the Ryuken units you have so carefully trained to attack Outreach, would you lead them?"
Dechan swallowed to loosen the knot of fear in his stomach. That the revivified Ryuken might be used against the Dragoons had always been his greatest nightmare. "I would ask you to reconsider."
Takashi stared in Dechan's eyes. "And if I did not?"
Dechan was distressed to realize that the years had sapped his fear of one day being ordered to lead a military action against the Dragoons. He was suddenly unsure of what he believed in. "I don't know."
"You obviously face a conflict. Another brave man who served me once faced a similar conflict. The Dragoons were involved in that as well. That honorable man followed his orders, then committed seppuku.Are you as honorable as he, Dechan Fraser?"
Did Takashi refer to Minobu Tetsuhara? "I am not samurai."
"I could make you samurai."
"I am . . . was a Dragoon. We have our own code of honor."
"Is your honor worth your life?"
"I . . . Sometimes."
Takashi smiled his half-smile. "Does Jaime Wolf believe this as well?"
Dechan was confused. "I don't know."
Standing, Takashi took a deep breath. "Wolf is the leader of his Dragoons, secure in his place as any dai-myolording it over his samurai. He understands the demands placed on a lord. This is so, neh?"
"I believe so."
Takashi nodded sharply. "I believe so, too. You may not understand the problems of a ruler, but Wolf does. The Dragoons are his fiefdom, and there he is ruler. I do not envy him.
"Once I was the undisputed ruler of the Draconis Combine. The state and the army were mine to command. Now my son has taken some of that power from me. He rules not only the army, but no little portion of the state. He is a man in the prime of his life, while I sink toward old age. With each year I see more of my contemporaries pass from the stage of the drama that is the Inner Sphere. Even Hanse Davion is gone now. With the Fox dead, what other Inner Sphere lord is a worthy opponent? My day is passing."