"I will not absolve you."
"I'm not asking you to. Things can't be what they were, but then I don't suppose anything ever stays the same. Life means change, and if you don't change, you aren't alive, quiafflI think you understand what it means to try to make things right and fail."
Elson rolled his head so that he faced away from the Colonel. "I am prepared to accept the fate of those who fail," he said softly.
"Are you still prepared to fight? I want to change what went before, I want everyone who wears the Dragoon patch to be a part of the Dragoons, and I want to see that everyone earns his or her place and that no one gets a place unearned. Isn't that a lot of what you were fighting for? Do you still have the strength to fight for it?"
Facing the Colonel again, Elson asked, "What do you mean?"
"It was distrust and misunderstanding that brought us to this point."
"And not a little ambition," Atwyl interrupted.
"No one's denying that, Ham," the Colonel said without looking at him. "Ambition is not necessarily bad. Sometimes it's exactly what's needed. I have ambitions, too. I intend to make what we went through a crucible from which a better organization will emerge. It's clear now that we can't be what we were. We're not Clan any more than we are Inner Sphere; we're a blend of the two. More than that, we're what our lives and battles have made us. We won't find our future by clinging to the past; we've got to chart a new course."
Elson squinted his good eye at Wolf. "You cannot be suggesting that we abandon the honor road."
"The path of honor is a concept older than the Clans' honor road. It's meant a lot of different things to people over time, but I think there are certain basics. I'd never ask you, or anyone, to abandon those. If you've got to have an honor road, we need to find one that will also be the Dragoons' honor road. We're not a Clan, and we're not the resurrected Star League Army, either. We hire our warriors out, but we're not justa mercenary company. We're something different, something new. Are you willing to help me find a new road, Elson?"
"I cannot be part of this."
"Why not? Scared?" Maeve taunted.
"I am born of the Clans," Elson said, frowning in his pride. "Their heritage is in my blood. Though I was freeborn, I knew I was part of something when I was with the Nova Cats. I must bepart of something. I cannot be a mercenary."
"You are part of something," the Colonel insisted. "Us."
"Wolf Pack," Maeve said with a grin. "That's not a name I approve," Jaime Wolf said. "Too late." She grinned wider. "It's gonna stick."
"We're the Dragoons," he insisted. "Yeah, WolfsDragoons. We're the Wolf Pack, too."
"I am neither," Elson said.
"You were rebellious, but you are a warrior," the Colonel told him. "Warriors of the Clans sometimes fail a challenge. That does not make them outlaw. The testing that you provided has strengthened the Dragoons. Though it was a testing harder than I would have liked, I think we will be the better for it. Especially if you will see that we can make it better together. "
"I no longer understand you."
"The Colonel is offering you a restoration to the ranks," Nichole said.
"You're being honored, lout," Atwyl said.
Elson's good eye flashed anger at Atwyl, but it was a momentary flare. He looked calmly at the Colonel. "You have mastered me, Jaime Wolf. I can accept you as my Khan."
Shaking his head, the Colonel said, "No Khans. That's the Clan way. But I do think I will need a position other than colonel. This first-among-officers arrangement will not bear the weight of planetary administration. I'll be taking the title of Commander."
"I do not care what you call yourself. The arrangement is the same."
"Then you accept?" Nichole asked anxiously.
Again Elson said, "I will loyally serve the man who has proved my master."
Epilogue
Secrets are curious things. You never know when they really are secrets, although you usually know when they are not. How can you be sure that your buddy doesn't know the secret and isn't telling you because he's promised somebody else that he'll keep his mouth shut? It has also been said that three can keep a secret when two are dead, but that old saw doesn't take into account the value of the secret to those who hold it. If you benefit from something staying secret, or if you'll be harmed if word gets out, you're much more likely to stay quiet.
Being a member of Commander Wolf's staff makes a person privy to many secrets. Most are military secrets, usually fleeting information on positioning and available forces. But some involve other matters, more personal matters. Some of the secrets are kept on what is called a "need-to-know" basis; you're only told if you "need to know." Being a member of the Commander's staff, however, sometimes means that you can find out more than you "need to know."
I had been puzzled by Schlomo's behavior outside the recovery wards and had promised myself to look him up as soon as things calmed down around the general headquarters. The move back to Wolf Hall was chaotic, and the business of reuniting the Dragoons was time-consuming. New officers had to be assigned, old officers checked for loyalty. Surprisingly, Elson was useful in pinpointing those of his former faction who were unable to accept the changes and the new order. The Dragoons lost a lot of personnel even after the fighting was over. When I finally had some time to myself, I couldn't find Schlomo, so I decided to use my rank to do some of my own digging. He found me as I sat fussing over the med center computer.
"You won't find anything about her in there."
I looked up, startled by his silent approach. The old man was haggard, his face showing the deep tiredness of a long-carried burden.
In a brilliant response, I asked, "What are you talking about?"
He sat down beside me and gave me a weary smile. "The others didn't catch on. They only saw what they expected. But I saw your face when Fraser called Maeve Jaime Wolf's daughter, and I knew you'd come looking sooner or later. Does she mean something special to you?"
"She means everything to me," I said. "That's something you ought to understand. Even though you're an old-timer, you know what love is."
"Yes. I'm an old-timer, but I never was a warrior. The other castes didn't abandon love for honor. We weren't so foolish." He sighed. "At least not that way. She means everything, you say. Is that why you want to ruin her life and destroy the Dragoons?"
"How can knowing who Maeve's parents were destroy the Dragoons?"
"Don't pretend to be stupid, Brian. You know what would happen if she had the parentage you suspect."
I did, and the thought sent a slight shudder through me. To placate certain factions, Wolf had sworn that all officers of the Dragoons would be tested and evaluated for their positions. There would be no favoritism, he had promised. As a gesture of good faith, he stipulated that none of his children or grandchildren could hold a major command within the Dragoons. Maeve hadn't tried out for the command of the battalion in which she served; she hadn't wanted to take that away from Gentleman Johnny Clavell now that he had recovered. Instead she had entered the competition for the new Dragoon rank of general. Some said she was too young, but a lot of old-timers pointed out that she was the same age as Jaime and Joshua Wolf when they had first led the Dragoons into the Inner Sphere. Commander Wolf had supported her, saying that a young leader was what the fighting forces needed. The Clan-ners didn't object, but, then, they were used to young commanders, as long as they tested well enough. And test well enough she had. Once the scores were adjusted for ageframe and experience bias, she held the highest rating and became the first general of Wolf's Dragoons.