I couldn’t apply it to myself then. My sexuality and cooing were turning into something else.
In a society of men, such an image does not arouse the desire to get married.
You can't look your best, attract a ton of attention and not be a bitch. Then you will be considered a woman of easy virtue.
If you are beautiful and sexy, then in order to save yourself for your husband, you must be modest or ulcerous. Modesty is also attractive, and everyone can fall for it.
I remember poor Inna, a classmate who was courted by Ivan in high school. She couldn't turn him off because it would ruin her image. She went on all the dates, politely refused intimacy, which he perceived as modesty accordingly.
All this disgrace lasted about a year, until Inna realized that she was losing the opportunity to date someone cool.
And then the dam burst, as they say.
— Vanya, leave me alone.
— Why?
— I don’t love you! — How?
— I never loved.
— But why didn’t you tell me?
— I was afraid to offend you.
— What a bitch you are!
Do you see? Either way, bitch. It would be better if she immediately told him that he was not her type, she would not have lost a year of her life.
С'est la vie. Alas, in order not to be branded as a priestess of love in male society, it is necessary not to combine sexuality with cooing. Or do it so skillfully that a mosquito won’t hurt your nose. Namely, to remain at a distance, not to allow close physical contact until some promises are fulfilled.
Or learn to refuse and behave directly, if you are a beauty, of course.
If you have problems with your appearance, be sexy in your communication.
My mistake was accepting the idea that I was not beautiful enough. I underestimated my appearance and behaved very freely with men, flirting and flirting.
But it was worth being sarcastic and bitchy with those whom I didn’t want to see as a husband.
As a result, there were a lot of wrong people, and there was absolutely no energy or time left for the right one.
They took me to the cinema, restaurants, gave me flowers and sweets, but I was not in love.
Why then everything? For what? Self-affirmation? Resentment towards the entire male family for previous failures? What nonsense.
I understand this now, but then I really asserted myself. How many of you still do the same? Girls, I’ll tell you straight, you can spend your time much more usefully by learning a foreign language, or extreme driving, for example.
I will address each one separately. Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself as if you were the main character of a historical movie.
Imagine that you were chosen to play the role of the queen or empress, or maybe someone else, the one about whom the story will be told, whom the audience will sympathize with, whom they will love.
With pimples on your face, gray hair in your twenties, cellulite, a large nose, thin lips and everything that you don’t like about yourself so much. Imagine that millions of viewers are in love with all this. They see a person, his story and the whole image becomes captivating for them, they want to be like him.
Are you immersed in this idea? Great.
Stay in it, savor it thoroughly.
And now, with your chin raised proudly, move forward in life without expecting others to confirm your uniqueness. Don’t depend on other people’s opinions about you, just enjoy yourself as you are.
Be happy with yourself. And then you won’t have to assert yourself at the expense of someone else.
You may realize that you don't want to get married right now. Perhaps you will become a pilot or astronaut, as you have wanted since childhood. And then you will meet the same one. Even at forty years old. Doesn't matter. Only you and your happiness are important.
Do you understand?
“Igor, Alexander, Sofia.”
Three important people in my life that I can't help but tell you about.
Have you ever had the feeling that the people you meet on your life’s path didn’t end up here by accident, but were sent by someone to teach you?
Looks like this happened to me. Only the highest power turned out to be me from the future, and not the gods. If I were asked now, “When rewriting the book of your youth, who would you keep and who would you remove from it?”, I would confidently answer about these three people.
The people who influenced me the most. They believed in me and tried to help.
All the initiatives that I had at that time were supported by these three people. Yes, not everything I tried was perfect, and not everything was moral, but I was not afraid to experiment.
These three admired me, but unfortunately, I could not discern such care in them.
So, if you are reading these lines now, DEAR SOFIA FROM MURMANSK, IGOR IS A LAWYER AND ALEXANDER A FOREST BUSINESSMAN, then know that I am sincerely grateful to you for your attempts to help and admiration.
This chapter will not be detailed. She is very sad, so I will still stop, albeit superficially. Maybe someday in another book I will share it with you, but not now.
I will only say that according to the latest information, they all gave up, the world broke them. Antidepressants, drugs and a lot of alcohol. And if they turned to me now for the same help and faith in them that they themselves gave, then I would not turn away.
You can ask me what you are thinking now.
— Didn’t you break them, Margarita? How did the vampire suck all the faith in people out of them?
— Maybe. And I sincerely regret this.
The only thing I can say in my defense is that every person is responsible for himself first of all. And it is he who brings himself to the state where he finds himself. The environment can influence, but not more than the person himself.
If you have seriously offended someone in your life, or did not allow them to help you, then it’s time to realize this and not blame, but simply correct yourself.
My friend, a former drug addict, offended his mother with demands to give him money, stole and refused help from teachers and social workers.
When he got into an extremely deplorable state, he blamed himself for the sins of the world, considering himself a nonentity, he was sitting on a needle, the guys from Narconon came to the rescue in time.
They assured him that he shouldn’t blame himself, they believed in him, they put in the intention and made him responsible for at least paying for his own treatment.
Imagine my surprise when he actually recovered, and even without psychotropic drugs, and has not used drugs for ten years.
He works for the good of society, helping guys like him to free themselves.
I believe help is possible. Now I know this one hundred percent. And then Alexander, Igor and Sofia only gave birth to this faith in me.
That's what I'm grateful to the guys for.
Help is possible.
I hope my book will help many women realize their nature and live in harmony with it, without shame or exaggeration.
Do you know, by the way, how a woman can overdo it with her self-expression?
Pretense. A very unpleasant sight. Sometimes funny, nothing more.
I had a friend who tried to look sexy where it was inappropriate. It's not necessary.
How? Well, for example, one day she showed up at the opening of a children's Christian camp in a denim miniskirt, a top with a deep neckline and stiletto heels. She let her fluffy long hair down and flirted with all the male counselors in the camp.