If surgery and a strong drug clear his conscience, but ruin me in the future, then this option will be the first to be rejected.
Do you understand?
At twenty-nine years old, I discovered another fibroadenoma around the same place, a little higher. It was three times smaller and painless.
I was already seasoned and was not afraid. Well… maybe a little. When the ultrasound specialist explained what it was, and the mammologist offered to observe, I agreed.
He added:
— We need to do a puncture.
— But there have been cases where the puncture itself caused malignancy. Don't touch it while it's quiet.
— This is true. But it's up to you.
— I am against puncture. We wait.
And she began to observe herself, palpating herself weekly, listening to see if there was any pain.
Although the main part of my attention was simply directed to work, my husband and other things, which, against the background of a terrible lump of meat, looked brighter, more colorful, lighter, and I even fell in love with work.
My colleague advised me to switch to water.
Do you know what this is?
This is when you replace all drinks with water, absolutely. Well, except for the soup. Juices, tea, coffee, lemonades. I still drank fresh juices in small quantities and without sugar. And so yes, I started drinking exclusively ash-two-o.
This caused lymphodynamics and cleansing of the body from toxins. My tumor has shrunk. Is it true.
The process started so well that when I gave up everything to hell three months later and returned to coffee, it continued to decrease.
Now I’m thirty-two, and ultrasound shows no fibroadenoma. No, and upon palpation, I am sure that this disgusting thing has disappeared.
So remember that the doctor is a very erudite person, but the decision is always yours.
You can use the doctor wisely, namely, ask him to enlighten you to the maximum, or change the doctor if he is silent like a partisan.
Where did the second small tumor come from? — you ask — After all, you swore not to suffer anymore because of guys?
You're right. It's because of a man, a husband. This will be discussed later in the following chapters. We were on the verge of divorce.
But the truth remained the truth. It has never been so powerful that taking Corvalol has never happened again. You see, the tumor turned out to be three times smaller.
Identical triangles: big stress — big tumor, little stress — small tumor.
I smile and shrug my shoulders.
You know, let's do a test. “How to assess whether you are stressed or not”
First: Do you fall asleep easily? If it’s difficult, then it’s a big one. If you don't fall asleep, it's gigantic.
Secondly: How many times a day do you cry or want to cry? Several times — big, constantly — huge.
Thirdly: Do you take any substances: smoke, alcohol, Corvalol, antidepressants, other drugs. I just lit a cigarette — a lot of stress. Yes (some or all of this) — stop urgently, because even if you don’t care now, you won’t care later.
Well, that’s it, actually. These are my criteria for the two cases I told you about.
Now I sometimes laugh at the problems of those times. I am one hundred percent sure that I am happy on my own, and not because there is someone next to me. You know, I wish everyone independent happiness.
This is when you love a person two hundred percent, but you understand that if he leaves, or you, if something happens to your relationship, then you will be alive and capable of happiness to no less extent than now.
Yes, you will cry, but maybe once, well, twice, and that’s it. You will even remain friends and help each other in the future. That would be the height of greatness.
Have I seen such a separation? Yeah. My good friends, a young couple, divorced after ten years of marriage, but remained business partners, he came to her in the evenings for dinner, she shared her most intimate things, as with a friend.
— What, really without sex?
— Yes, that’s why we broke up. They no longer wanted each other, did not want to have children, they just became very close. They helped each other grow. We started with a shuttle business in our tiny apartment, keeping bags of provisions right at home. And now they have a company with a factory. There are leather chairs in the office and they have worked hard on their own goals, growing as individuals within the marriage.
Did I assume that there would be betrayal? You know, a woman wouldn’t be a woman if she weren’t tempted to find out how everything really is. But at the very moment when they were getting divorced, my relationship with my husband was collapsing, so I was not interested. This is rather an exception to the rule.
Although I am sure that there was no betrayal. The guys could already confess everything to each other, which means they simply have nothing to do with it.
So, a lesson about fibroadenoma. Take care of yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff. Do not take antidepressants or other harsh substances if the situation is severe. And may you have a friend who will listen and understand.
Don't forget, you can write to me.
Well, let's move on.
"The man is twelve years older"
A new chapter of my book, this is a new chapter of my life. And it’s harder to view it from the same ironic angle as youth. But still, may my husband forgive me, I will try to speak as it is, without tinsel and unicorns.
Let me start with the fact that in my fourth year I was on the verge of expulsion. Is it true. At the end of the third, I failed Pathophysiology, and in response to my tears, I was allowed to retake the exam in September.
In the fall, I came to my senses, passed the test and then moved into battle as a good student. There were no absenteeism, no grades, no grades, no failures. I got a job and stopped looking for a boyfriend.
Girls, I finally stopped. She lost weight, pumped up, tanned, glowed both externally and internally.
There were still rare breaks, but they were so well-mannered that I would call it petty stupidity rather than a break.
One day there was a guy lying next to me that I really liked, but he just listened to how I worried about life, admired the beauty and let me fall asleep instead of taking advantage of the situation. When I woke up later, my friend had already seen the guys off and admired my progress in curbing male egoism.
— You didn’t have anything?
— We didn't even take off our clothes.
— Have you even kissed?
— No. He was lying nearby. And his only touch was a gentle lifting of a curl from his face behind his ear. — I smile slyly.
— Wow. You're making progress. I didn't succeed.
By the New Year I was already a different person. Confident, purposeful, shoulders back, chin to the sky, the gait of a brave man.
No guys, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no junk food and no soul-searching.
One day, returning from school, I wanted something unusual. I went on a social network to look for advertisements for small earnings. And I came across a photo shoot for the cover of a business magazine. No payment was offered, but the feeling of one’s own unsurpassability was comforting. I immediately called and went to the “casting”
The art director of this event, of course, cheated in order to force the girls to try and not pay for the work. But I didn’t mind, I wanted non-standard entertainment and a little self-affirmation.