More often the first option, we just think that we don’t know his thoughts. And they are like that, I’ll tell you. If a woman does not allow a man to speak out, whether in private or in society, then this is the end. No sane person would tolerate such a partner. For what?
I don't condone cheating. It makes more sense to stop her in such a situation. Directly, courageously, honestly, tell your lady that she has gone too far, and that if this happens again, he will leave.
And then keep your promise.
Oh, this is very sobering for a woman. I've been through it. I'll tell you later.
But at that moment, I supported my husband one hundred percent: he spoke, I agreed, sat quietly, laughed at his jokes loudly, sometimes through force (well, he didn’t always joke funny). But she sincerely loved, so everything worked out naturally.
The other couples amused us for a long time, and we saw them as a huge problem. We have become kind of snobs about family happiness. Nobody could figure us out. The husband is the head, the wife is the wise assistant. He is a teacher, she is always on hand, studying and completing tasks and assignments.
“Rude!” — you say.
Naturally. But every woman needs this experience. If a woman never meets a strong man in her entire life who will be frank with her, then she risks remaining a narcissistic idiot, with only mama’s boys hovering around her.
Girls, every time I speak rudely about us, don’t think, this is not for the sake of a nice word, I really think we are like that. Did you think there would be another apology? (Smile).
Okay, we are all beautiful and we have something to prove to men. But what forces us to prove something to them is our lack of self-confidence. If we were more self-sufficient, we wouldn’t have to constantly fight. We could become wiser and play in a common sandbox.
Imagine you are five years old and you go out into the yard to play. Only boys are sitting on the site, they have already built an incredible structure there, an entire city, a railway, they are playing, enthusiastically intercepting enemy forces with partisan detachments. They are having fun.
And here you are? What you are doing?
You may think: “If I don’t go, they’ll drive me away.”
You can also approach them and destroy everything and start building your own doll house. Then you'll probably get beaten if mom isn't around.
You can also sit nearby and admire. Say out loud how much you like what they did. Oh, boys love it just like girls. A minute or two and you will be called to play. They will teach you, tell you what, where. You will become their friend, and then the most interesting interlocutor, friend.
Do you see? If it were a group of girls, would you also choose from three options? Would one hundred percent have acted as in the third? Is not a fact. This is just a society, male or female, it doesn’t matter. And you may think that men are very different from women, they are not.
Yes, there will always be an allowance for sexual desire. If you come to an engineering company in a dress with a low neckline, tight or tight, then perhaps they will give you a helmet without your praises, but they will not allow you to destroy the building. They will fight to the last, as if everyone were of the same sex.
People try to manipulate their sexuality in order to win where a callous cracker would be refused, but I don’t like to do that. There is a great alternative — communication, admiration, understanding. It is this that is often perceived as charm and is what people like so much.
So I survived a whole year in a foreign city in the first serious relationship of my life. I have set and continue to set an example for Ksyusha as a good wife. And in recent months I have been setting an example of a good woman. She is changing, not quite like me (after all, there are others to look up to), but she has grown into a good girl.
Do you know why I separate these concepts?
Oh well, then I won’t stop.
What? I can not hear. Explain?
A good wife and a good woman are not always the same thing.
And the definition of goodness is very vague. In general, if we focus on the two sides of the golden rule, known in every corner of the world in different philosophies, then goodness is not doing to others what you would not want to do to yourself, and doing to others what you would like to do to yourself. I didn't say that. This is great human wisdom.
So a woman is a person, just like a man. And as a person, she desires success, attention, love, recognition of her merits, movement forward, communication, happiness.
The wife wants the same thing, but to a different degree or something different altogether. Love, care, communication, happiness, attention. Achieving victories, recognizing her merits, moving forward is often relegated to the background so that the spouse can achieve this.
Otherwise, the couple breaks up. Only very strong guys can survive this fight.
Lately, every time I consolidate my status as a good wife, I am learning and becoming a good woman.
Do you understand? I want to achieve my personal goals. Star in a wonderful Hollywood movie, fly into space, publish a book that will help millions of women.
"Farewell University"
So, who dropped out of school at least once in their life? Thank you. And who because of the man? Thank you. Put your hand down before strong women throw tomatoes at you.
Look, I don't think this is a mistake. This decision was conscious.
Does anyone regret those who did this?
I think that you, like me, have already justified this action three hundred times.
One day my handsome and smart man told me:
— Come with me to live in Krasnodar
And I told him:
— I can not. I have school, work, friends, and family nearby.
— I can't live here. My home is there. There's nothing keeping me here anymore.
— And I?
— So I want to take you there.
— But I'm not a thing.
— Of course, you are not a thing. Let's mutually decide. If you look at all the pros and cons, pushing the personal aside. It's warm, sunny, and fruit grows there. It's cold, gray and damp here. There is a big city there, opportunities and the same university. You don’t need to work anymore, I will support us. Let's find common friends.
I thought about it. Well, he’s telling the truth.
— OK. But first I need to talk to the dean, my parents, my friends.
— This is all secondary. Your decision first.
— What if it is negative?
— Then we will part.
— Hard.
— How else. I have already decided where I want to live. I even decided who I wanted to live with there. But you have the right to refuse, the choice is yours.
Bastard. No, my love, if you are reading these lines, I’m sorry. But still a bastard. Of course, I made a choice in favor of Krasnodar, and I don’t regret it, but a better solution could have been found.
No, I’m sad not because of my studies, but because now we still live in St. Petersburg, and we could have moved here right away. But that stage was necessary, because Vladislav was wildly homesick for his daughter. And a whole year of regular communication got him drunk for several years to come.
I told my sister first, hoping to gain support from my mother. It's either this way or not at all. If you warn her earlier, then when mom starts to panic, the sister is already ready with an artillery of arguments.