— That's it. It would be the same with any child.
— OK.
And I usually calmed down when we went through the tenth circle. But this time, in January two thousand and sixteen, I continued:
— You and I will get married someday anyway. So what difference does it make when? We won’t invite guests or relatives, we’ll get married quietly, just the two of us, get married and go and relax for a couple of days.
— I am not sure, let see what will happen.
And then something clicked in me. I realized that I had broken through the ice. It was urgent to finish it off. And I persuaded a colleague from work, who had recently been proposed to, to take advantage of the situation, being on friendly terms with him, and explain the importance of marriage.
As a result, their conversation took place, and I knew that on Valentine's Day he would propose to me. It was supposed to be romantic. Expensive restaurant, the atmosphere contributed to the situation. But do you know what I was thinking?
“I will refuse. I will refuse, let it be as unpleasant for him as it was for me all these five years of waiting, and the last couple of years of refusals. I will take revenge."
Can you imagine? The level of accumulated anger went so high that I wanted to act so cruelly.
Exhale. I pulled myself together.
He timidly took out a small box from his pocket and quietly asked:
— Take a knee?
— No, what are you talking about? Relax, that's enough.
“No, what are you talking about? Is your brain completely drained? Like a real slob, I just swam when I saw how my strong man gave up.” He looked at me so timidly, so uncertainly that I was unable to carry out my insidious plan.
— Will you marry me?
— Yes, sure.
And, mind you, she reached out to kiss him. He cried a little, and I had to play. It was a difficult decision for him, and I felt like a bitch.
Can you imagine, girls, as soon as a man sheds a tear, we melt like ice cream in the heat.
This mess. When we cry, they mock, laugh and call us hysterical.
Oh, I'm so angry at myself that I didn't gloat back then.
Although no. Still, there must be greatness in a woman. I would have ruined everything, he would never have proposed marriage to anyone else.
Just for fun, of course, it was worth it. But suddenly my humor wouldn’t come out, and the box would slam shut forever.
I got cold feet and gave in.
Okay, it was worth it. I don't regret it at all. The shame of the refusals of recent years has been forgotten, the hatchet of war is buried deep, there is no need to stir up the old.
And how well you got angry with me just now, you felt it, you really wanted to kill all the men. Well, no need, we still need them. They can be cool kids. I know for sure.
In the next six months, I still hid the “vendetta”. Literally a week after our marriage, we began to quarrel more and more often. By July this was happening every day, and by August, I had already said “goodbye” to him six times and threw the ring on the table.
Of course, we put up with this, he confessed his love to me, and then we fought as if we had hated each other for a hundred years. How do you like this? Was it with someone?
Oh, I know for sure that many have. When people have accumulated a bunch of small sins against each other, which they justify in every possible way, then this does not become a virtue, harm is harm: did not finish cooking the meat, hid the expense, faked an orgasm, did not give money for education, lying that it was not, and in the end this the mountain comes between them, understanding collapses, only accusations remain.
I'm getting ahead of myself. More about divorce later.
How can you marry an obstinate guy to yourself? Just like me, communicate for several years, and then finish off with a mutual friend.
Honestly? No. How will you feel afterwards? Disgusting.
But if this was the goal, then all means are good.
My dear, I’m sorry, if you are reading this book, don’t take it to heart, this is all women’s talk. I love you so much. Nobody manipulated you, you decided for yourself. Everything was in your hands. You weighed and analyzed everything, the conclusion was only yours.
I wink at you girls.
Let's continue.
How my friends got married.
Zhanna, a classmate returned from the army and was the first to take the beauty before anyone else came to their senses. She dreamed of someone else, but now she dotes on him.
Ksenia danced a “gypsy girl” with a witness at a wedding and grabbed this military doctor with a death grip. They corresponded for a long time and finally he called her to his place.
After the first divorce, Tatyana searched for six years, found her one and immediately married her after a couple of months of dating.
Elizabeth got married in the same year that she got divorced. She was such a good young wife to her middle-aged husband that the young active boy immediately captured her in his love captivity, this is what she dreamed of.
The list goes on and on, my story is very different.
The first two cases are about the fact that either settle for mediocrity, or fight for your ideal. The last two are about a state of mind when your demand for the right men is simply at its peak.
I was very ambitious when I started a relationship with Vladislav, and I wanted not just someone, but a whole lot of someone, although I didn’t imagine anything special!
I had not yet grown up to the third and fourth cases, when I myself was such a valuable specimen that the one I wanted asked me to marry.
So yes, if you are in my shoes right now, then take the bull by the horns. Are you afraid? Go forward. Wait for years, gradually lead him to the right decision, and then, if it hits you, then endure it, survive and do the right thing. And perhaps you, like me, will be able to turn failure into the most beautiful family relationship you have ever seen. They will envy you and ask you to share your secret, just like me. It’s not for nothing that I’m writing this book. She is at your request.
Well, I won't torment you for long. I'll tell you about the divorce.
"Divorce."
To begin with, I have to give you statistics. How many divorced women are there in the world? The same number as married people. Can you imagine?
Depending on the country, the percentage of divorces varies, somewhere around eighty, somewhere around ten, but the average is fifty.
I don’t know about you, but news like this used to make my hair stand on end.
Now I’m already calmer about this, no one has to be chained to an oath or a promise before God with a spouse who has gone crazy, or you suddenly realized that your roof has come into place. Divorces give you freedom and help you breathe deeper.
But at the same time, it seems to me, they discourage already irresponsible young people. Women and men who have just graduated from university get married, give birth to children, and only then realize that this is not the life they actually dreamed of.
Why irresponsible and not stupid? Because such a large number (let me remind you, half) cannot be stupid, but it’s easy to be irresponsible.
They give up at the slightest difficulty and fail to cope with barriers.
Now, if I were in their place, I would also easily get married without hesitation. Then you can always get a divorce. Yes, perhaps with a doll, but it’s possible.