"All right."
The bedroom door was closed.
"Look," she said, "I've got to take some vitamin B. And I'm going to have to pull my pants down and stab myself in the ass. Look the other way."
"All right."
I watched her draw liquid into the syringe. I looked the other way.
"I've got to get it all," she said.
When it was done she turned on a small red radio.
"Nice place you got here."
"I'm a month behind on the rent."
"Oh…"
"It's all right. The landlord-he lives in the place up front-I can hold him off."
"Good."
"He's married, the old fuck. And guess what?"
"I can't."
"The other day his wife was gone somewhere and the old fuck asked me to come over. I went over and sat down and guess what?"
"He pulled it out."
"No, he put on dirty movies. He thought that shit would turn me on."
"It didn't?"
"I said, 'Mr. Miller, I have to leave now. I have to pick Dancy up at school.'"
Tammie gave me an upper. We talked and talked. And drank beer.
At 6 am Tammie opened the couch we had been sitting on. There was a blanket. We took off our shoes and climbed under the blanket with our clothes on. I held her from the back, my face in all that red hair. I got hard. I dug it into her from behind, through her clothing. I heard her fingers clawing and digging into the edge of the couch.
"I've got to go," I told Tammie.
"Listen, all I've got to do is to make Dancy some breakfast and drive her to school. It's O.K. if she sees you. Just wait here until I get back."
"I'm going," I said.
I drove home, drunk. The sun was really up, painful and yellow…
44
I had been sleeping on a terrible mattress with the springs sticking into me for several years. That afternoon when I awakened I pulled the mattress off the bed, dragged it outside, and leaned it against the trashbin.
I walked back in and left the door open.
It was 2 pm and hot.
Tammie walked in and sat on the couch.
"I've got to go," I told her. "I've got to go buy a mattress."
"A mattress? Well, I'll leave."
"No, Tammie, wait. Please. The whole thing will take about 15 minutes. Wait here and have a beer."
"All right," she said…
There was a rebuilt mattress shop about three blocks down on Western. I parked in front and ran through the door. "Fellows! I need a mattress… FAST!"
"What kind of bed?"
"Double."
"We've got this one for $35."
"I'll take it."
"Can you take it in your car?"
"I've got a Volks."
"All right, we'll deliver it. Address?"
Tammie was still there when I got back.
"Where's the mattress?"
"It'll be along. Have another beer. You got a pill?"
She gave me a pill. The light shot through her red hair.
Tammie had been voted Miss Sunny Bunny at the Orange County Fair in 1973. It was four years later now, but she still had it. She was big and ripe in all the right places.
The delivery man was at the door with the mattress.
"Let me help you."
The delivery man was a good soul. He helped me put it on the bed. Then he saw Tammie sitting on the couch. He grinned. "Hi," he said to her.
"Thanks very much," I told him. I gave him 3 dollars and he left.
I went into the bedroom and looked at the mattress. Tammie followed. The mattress was wrapped in cellophane. I began ripping it off. Tammie helped.
"Look at it. It's pretty," she said.
"Yes, it is."
It was bright and colorful. Roses, stems, leaves, curling vines. It looked like the Garden of Eden, and for $35.
Tammie looked at it. "That mattress turns me on. I want to break it in. I want to be the first woman to fuck you on that mattress."
"I wonder who will be the second?"
Tammie walked into the bathroom. There was a silence. Then I heard the shower. I put on fresh sheets and pillow cases, undressed and climbed in. Tammie came out, young and wet, she sparkled. Her pubic hair was the same color as the hair on her head: red, like fire.
She paused before the mirror and pulled in her stomach. Those huge breasts rose toward the glass. I could see her, back and front, simultaneously.
She walked over and climbed under the sheet.
We slowly worked into it.
We got into it, all that red hair on the pillow, as outside the sirens howled and the dogs barked.
45
Tammie came by that night. She appeared to be high on uppers.
"I want some champagne," she said.
"All right," I said.
I handed her a twenty.
"Be right back," she said, walking out the door.
Then the phone rang. It was Lydia. "I just wondered how you were doing…"
"Things are all right."
"Not here. I'm pregnant."
"What?"
"And I don't know who the father is."
"Oh?"
"You know Dutch, the guy who hangs around the bar where I'm working now?"
"Yes, old Baldy."
"Well, he's really a nice guy. He's in love with me. He brings me flowers and candy. He wants to marry me. He's been real nice. And one night I went home with him. We did it."
"All right."
"Then there's Barney, he's married but I like him. Of all the guys in the bar he's the only one who never tried to put the make on me. It fascinated me. Well, you know, I'm trying to sell my house. So he came over one afternoon. He just came by. He said he wanted to look the house over for a friend of his. I let him in. Well, he came at just the right time. The kids were in school so I let him go ahead… Then one night this stranger came into the bar late. He asked me togo home with him. I told him no. Then he said he just wanted to sit in my car with me, talk to me. I said all right. We sat in the car and talked. Then we shared a joint. Then he "kissed me. That kiss did it. If he hadn't kissed me I wouldn't have done it. Now I'm pregnant and I don't know who. I'll have to wait and see who the child looks like."
"All right, Lydia, lots of luck."
"Thanks."
I hung up. A minute passed and then the phone rang again. It was Lydia. "Oh," she said, "I wondered how you were doing?"
"About the same, horses and booze."
"Then everything's all right with you?"
"Not quite."
"What is it?"
"Well, I sent this woman out for champagne…"
"Woman?"
"Well, girl, really…"
"A girl?"
"I sent her out with $20 for champagne and she hasn't come back. I think I've been taken."
"Chinaski, I don't want to hear about your women. Do you understand that?"
"All right."
Lydia hung up. There was a knock on the door. It was Tammie. She'd come back with the champagne and the change.
46
It was noon the next day when the phone rang. It was Lydia again.
"Well, did she come back with the champagne?"
"Who?"
"Your whore."
"Yes, she came back…"
"Then what happened?"
"We drank the champagne. It was good stuff."
"Then what happened?"
"Well, you know, shit…"
I heard a long insane wail like a wolverine shot in the arctic snow and left to bleed and die alone…
She hung up.
I slept most of the afternoon and that night I drove out to the harness races.
I lost $32, got into the Volks and drove back. I parked, walked up on the porch and put the key into the door. All the lights were on. I looked around. Drawers were ripped out and overturned on the floor, the bed covers were on the floor. All my books were missing from the bookcase, including the books I had written, 20 or so. And my typewriter was gone and my toaster was gone and my radio was gone and my paintings were gone.