And boy, what a loss that would be.
Chapter 39
THE FUTURE: OXFORD STREETS
Every now and then I manage to open my eyes for a few seconds. Dying is a horrible thing. I feel I am being stripped of everything I have, one second after the other. My skin, my vision, my hearing, my breath, and my soul. All is withering away.
The fire truck seems to have been flipped on its side, because I see things at a ninety-degree angle. Tom is in an awkward position, firing the water hose in all directions. But it doesn’t look like a lasting plan.
I see the poor dog, now awake, swimming in a pool of puddles, trying to escape the Reds’ bullets. Bandersnatch bullets. If I could just stand up to save the poor thing from the human madness…
But I can’t. My eyelids droop on me again. It’s so hard to flip them open again. It’s like pushing open a gate of steel.
“No!” I hear Tom scream.
My vision is almost gone.
The only thought that comes to me is: What kind of a lame hero am I?
No wonder I’m not leading the revolution in the future. I am assuming I wasn’t up to the mission and failed somehow. That’s why I am hiding beyond the walls of a so-called Wonderland compound. What kind of future scenario is that?
And my children? How can I leave them like this? I am really hoping Tom is right, that there is another version of me, a real responsible mother, who will take care of Tiger and Lily in this life.
As for me, it looks like my time has come. It wasn’t such a bad ride, I tell myself. I saved a few lives, didn’t I? Of course, I killed those on the bus earlier, but like the tattoo on my arm rants: I can’t go back to yesterday because… blah blah blah.
A shot resonates in my head. A scream follows. Adrenalin pumps into my thin veins, a little push that helps me open my eyes again.
“I’m here, Alice,” a voice tells me. It’s the Pillar. “I’ve got the pills.”
“Really?” I cough blood.
“I just need to straighten you up and shelter you somewhere safe, or a stray bullet could end us both.” He begins to pull me into a shaded area. I can’t make out what is what. The world is upside down, skewed and ridiculous.
“That’s it.” He lays me back against the truck’s front, I believe. “Can you swallow it?” He tucks the pill into my mouth.
I shake my head, realizing my jaw has tightened. I can hardly give the pill a kick with my tongue.
“Don’t worry,” the Pillar says, pulling something nearby. “Thankfully, we’re in a fire truck.”
I don’t understand what this means. The pill is melting on my tongue, but I can’t swallow it. What’s worse than that?
“Here.” He pulls the water hose and drowns my face with water. “That’s why I’m thankful.”
The water splashes on my face and the pill slides inside me. I will be forever grateful to the Pillar. Maybe I can return to the past and fix this messed-up future.
But I am not feeling better.
“Alice?” The Pillar begins to shake me violently.
I can’t even feel his hands now. I am withering away. The pills aren’t the answer to saving my life.
Chapter 40
THE PRESENT: THE INKLINGS, OXFORD
“So the pills won’t work?” Mr. Tick put his teacup aside and wiped his thin lips with a napkin.
“I made sure they’re taken,” Mrs. Tock explained.
“Taken?”
“I’ve had someone pull them out of Carroll’s pockets,” she said. “The ones the Pillar will find, if he so takes that route to save her, are water pills. Useless, just like diet pills.”
“Pretty cruel.” Mr. Tick tucked a napkin into the collar of his vest, getting ready for his six o’clock brownie. “And fabulous, I must admit. I can’t tell you how much you have entertained me today.”
“My pleasure, Mr. Tick.”
“So the girl dies now?”
“You know we don’t want that to happen.” Mrs. Tock snickered, reaching for a piece of Mr. Tick’s brownie. He slapped her hand away. “Alice needs to live. We’re just preparing her for the big showdown, so we can get the keys.”
“Poor girl.” He gorged on his brownie. “She has no idea what’s going on.”
“It’s the only way to get the keys.”
“And to know if she’s really the Real Alice,” Mr. Tick remarked.
“That too, of course,” she said. “According to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to Wonderlastic Time Travels, she will die in the future if she is not the Real Alice.”
“And if she survives?”
“There is a possibility she might be Alice.”
“That’s rather contradictory. If she dies, she isn’t Alice, but if she lives, she may be Alice?”
“Wonderland logic. Can’t argue with that,” she said. “It’s as confusing as the concept of time.”
“Whatever.” He waved a hand after downing the last piece of the brownie. “I’m curious to see how it plays out.”
“Me too, Mr. Tick.”
“But I’m starting to get bored again,” Mr. Tick said. “Not that I haven’t been entertained by this piece of time travel. But I feel there isn’t much pain involved. I need to see tragedies. People in dire pain and agony.”
“I understand. Seeing people in agony makes you tick, Mr. Tick.” She chuckled. “I have an idea. Why not stop time from freezing inside the Inklings?”
“Why would I do that?”
“You’d wake up Fabiola.” Mrs. Tock snickered and shrugged. “This way, you can see her suffer when she sees Alice spasming and coughing blood.”
“What a brilliant idea, Mrs. Tock,” Mr. Tick said, and snapped his fingers to unfreeze the White Queen.
Chapter 41
THE FUTURE: OXFORD STREETS
“Alice!” I still hear the Pillar screaming.
I’m sinking into my own rabbit hole toward the other side of the spectrum of life.
“Is she going to die?” I think that’s Tom shouting, but I’m not sure.
Then someone arrives — I think.
“What are you doing here?” the Pillar roars at the guest.
“I can save her.” I think I know the voice, but can’t focus hard enough to remember.
“Another trick of yours,” Tom says. “Go away.”
“I always have a few tricks in my sleeves,” that someone says. “I’d even admit I switched the pills on Carroll’s corpse.”
“What corpse?” Tom asks.
What are they talking about? Who is this stranger?
“That’s why she is dying.” The Pillar sounds angry. “I’m going to kill you.”
“No need to,” the stranger says. “I have her cure. The real pills.”
Really? Am I going to live?
“And what do you ask in return?” the Pillar says.
“I’ve always liked your practical methods, Pillar,” the stranger says. “I’m going to give her the pills if she promises me a favor.”
“Whatever it takes, Cheshire,” the Pillar says. “Just give them to me.”
“Don’t call me Cheshire, please,” the Cheshire says in Jack’s voice. “I’m neither the Cheshire nor Jack now. I’m both. Not as naive and hapless in love as Jack, nor am I hating humans like the Cheshire.”
“And I’ve seen this sentimental rubbish of a movie before. Spare me the bullshit and hand me the goddamn pills,” the Pillar says.
“She has to listen to what I want first,” the Cheshire, or Jack, demands. “I know you think I’m still working for Black Chess because I fooled Tom and took the keys from him, but you’re wrong.”