“Don’t start!” She loosened her grip and waved her other hand at him. “Just don’t. You don’t even know why I hate you now? It doesn’t have anything to do with the past. This is about now.”
“Why do you hate me now, Fabiola?” The Pillar sighed.
“Because this girl inside apparently isn’t Alice,” Fabiola said. “I’ve forced myself to pretend she was, over and over again. I tried to make it easy on her and not tell her the truth. And now, the poor girl is risking her life, and for what? If she dies within twenty-four hours it’s going to be your fault.”
“I’m aware of that,” the Pillar said without the slightest hint of sympathy. She couldn’t stand him being so cruel — or was he just too tough? “This still doesn’t justify why you hate me so much right now. What is it, really?”
Fabiola hesitated then said, “Because I love her. The girl is energy of light. Smart, ambitious, and has a heart of heroes.” She stamped one foot on the ground. “I bloody love her. And I swear to God, I’ll kill you if anything happens to her.”
Fabiola wiped away her tears and prepared to go back inside. She hated it when her anger surfaced like that. She had sworn not to give in to the woman she was in the past. Back in Wonderland, when she wasn’t a nun or a bartender, but the bravest of warriors.
“Fabiola,” the Pillar called after her. “When it’s over, I’ll be in Tom Quad in Oxford University.”
“So what?”
“I think you’ll want to see me once Alice returns to the past. Something horrible is going to happen then. We’ll have to talk about it.”
“You arrogant prick,” she said. “Why are you always sure of yourself? I don’t want to see you ever again.”
“If I had a mushroom for every time I heard you say this.” The Pillar rolled his cane in the air and walked away. “I’ll be waiting in Tom Quad. Trust me, you’ll come.”
Chapter 44
THE PRESENT: INSIDE THE INKLINGS, OXFORD
I’m back to the present life. My name is Alice and I hardly know who I really am. Names are the just the layer on top. You peel it off and there is the real you beneath. Have you ever seen the real you? Have you ever tried to?
Now that I’m back from the future, Fabiola returns to the Inklings, helping me drink a lot of water, cleaning off all the blood from my nose. She helps me sit and hands me a cup of milk and some food. We’re alone in the back room, waiting for Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock to return. Although I want to smash their heads against the wall, there is nothing I can do to them. They’re practically immortal. I hate time so much right now.
“What about the March Hare?” I say.
“He’s still unconscious, but not dead,” Fabiola says. “The creepy couple forcefully leak some of their magic tea into his mouth every now and then, so he stays alive.”
“But that’s not the real antidote that will bring him back to life. Right?”
“It isn’t.” She wipes off my sweat. “And we don’t know how to get it. Listen, Alice, you don’t have to do this.”
“Go back in time?” I say. “Of course I have to.”
“Maybe the March Hare’s time has come in this life. Maybe it’s his time to die.”
I can’t believe she said that. I can’t forget the image of the Columbian children gathered around his bed, crying their eyes out. But Fabiola isn’t herself anymore. She is slowly morphing into whoever she was in Wonderland. I am beginning to think she was borderline heartless in Wonderland. A good warrior, but sometimes heartless.
“It’s not just about the March Hare,” I tell her.
“Don’t tell me it’s about the keys. We can find them one by one in this world.”
“Not just the keys. I’m going to die if I don’t find my Wonder, remember?”
“And we don’t have an idea what it is.” Fabiola scowls.
“That’s why we need to talk to Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock again. They want me to go back to get the keys. But I’m not doing it until they tell me what my Wonder is.” I don’t tell Fabiola that I promised Jack I’d save his life in the past. I don’t think she’d like that. All in all, there seems to be all kinds of reasons for me to go back in time.
Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock open the door and enter the room. They smile and sit on their chairs opposite each other, as if nothing bad ever happened. Time will always smile at you, even when it’s ripping you of the days and nights of your life.
“She is a strong girl,” Mr. Tick tells his wife, pointing at me. “I think she is up to the job.”
“She may also be the Real Alice,” Mrs. Tock says.
“I’m the Real Alice,” I interrupt. “And stop talking to each other as if we’re not in the room.”
“Badass, too,” Mr. Tick whispers to his wife. “I like her.”
“But she isn’t the Real Alice.” Mrs. Tock rubs her chin. “We can’t be really sure until she finds the keys in the past.”
“Stop it.” I am about to get up and scream at them. Fabiola holds me back. “Let’s get into what matters,” I say. “What the hell is my Wonder?”
“She’s practical, too,” Mr. Tick says to his wife.
“She probably got that from the Pillar,” Mrs. Tock says. “But really, Mr. Tick, we should tell her about her Wonder.”
“Agreed, Mrs. Tock.” He turns back to me. “Your Wonder, Alice — everyone’s Wonder, in fact — is the one thing you do in your life that you’re most proud of. The one thing that when asked on your deathbed, ‘What did you really bring to this life?’ you’d tell us about.”
Chapter 45
“And how am I supposed to find that?”
“That’s up to you,” Mrs. Tock says. “While you’re back in time, find the thing that if you do, it will be so important, and so good, that life will grant you an extension.”
“Pretty shoddy, coming from two lunatics like you,” Fabiola comments.
“Did she just call us shoddy, Mrs. Tock?” Mr. Tick says.
“I think she did. Although you always arrive on time, Mr. Tick.”
“Remind me to kick their asses when I get back from the past, Ms. Fabiola,” I say.
“Don’t forget to call me, because I will kick them with you, Ms. Alice,” Fabiola says, playing along.
“Badass. Practical. And sarcastic,” Mr. Tick says. “I really want you to be the Real Alice.”
“I am her.” I am not sure if I am stubborn, fooling myself, but I have this feeling inside me. I’m the Real Alice. “So let’s start. How do I go back in time?”
“First of all, take this.” Mrs. Tock hands me a pink pill.
“What’s that? Another Lullaby pill?”
“It’s an address,” Mr. Tick says. “The Wonderlastic Guide of Time Travels offers a solution for taking items back in time with you. And we need to give you an address. This pill will help you remember the address in the past.”
I take it. “What address?”
“It’s my address in the past,” Mrs. Tock says. “You will need it in case something goes wrong.”
“Wrong like what?”
“Sometimes, going back in time sends you to a slightly wrong moment,” Mr. Tick explains. “A day or two past the desired date. If that happens, you will need to find Mrs. Tock to help you out.”
“And she will believe me?”
“Of course she will. Who else will know about her address?” Mr. Tick says.
“I understand.” I swallow the pill. “Now what?”
“Now, my dear Alice” — Mr. Tick stands up, combing his hairies — “we need to agree on the date you need to go back to.”
This is the moment I have been waiting for. I need to go back a day or two before the bus accident, so I can save Jack and maybe know why I killed anyone. “A day before the bus accident.”