“What do you mean when you say ‘we’? Whom did I help? Who are you?”
The man lets out a brief chuckle, one that cuts through my veins. “Black Chess, Alice. Black Chess.”
Chapter 54
Sometimes the truth is a slow burn of continuous pain. The longer it takes to reveal, the more it cuts through. A sword’s stroke is always merciful; a thousand small cuts are the real torture.
“Are you saying I’m…”
“Yes, you are, Alice,” Mr. Jay says. “Once the Lullaby’s effect leaves you, you will remember you’re one of us.”
All the tears in the world can’t baptize me now.
“We’ve been planning the bus accident for years. It was our best plan. And, of course, only you could do it, but let’s not get into why only you could do it now,” Mr. Jay says. “The Real Alice whom everyone in Wonderland feared. The one and only.”
“Feared?”
“Oh, girl. The heads you chopped off. The blood you shed.” Mr. Jay is overly impressed. He may be my boss, but he is fascinated by me. “Carroll had a point, making everyone forget your face. This, or every Wonderlander would have spent the rest of their lives crapping in their pants, remembering you.”
I’m darkness wrapped in black blood, dipped into the abyss of the deepest ocean. “So the whole search for the Real Alice wasn’t to find the girl who will save the world?”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about. No one’s really searching now, but they surely will in the future,” Mr. Jay says. “The Inklings will gather someday. Some kind of prophecy. But they’ll be too late.”
“So the Inklings fear me, too?”
“Some of them do,” he says. “Some of them foolishly think you can be converted. But I know you will never do that. You’re Black Chess’s most precious warrior.”
“Why do you doubt that?”
“Let’s face it, Alice. You’ve done things that can’t be forgiven. Remember messing with Carroll’s mind, splitting his self in two, and creating the Carolus part in him? It was genius.”
“I did that?”
“You fed him a heavy dose of Lullaby pills, mixed with the Executioner’s drugs, until the man collapsed. He collapsed so hard he made a deal with his split image to kill himself through you.”
The curtains fall. I have nothing to say. The play is over. And when the curtains are draped, there will be no audience left to applaud. Because I may have killed them all.
“Let’s not think about this now,” he says. “I’m really curious why you wanted to take the Lullaby pills after all you’ve done.”
This, I don’t remember. If I was this dark beast of Wonderland, why’d I ask to forget what I had done later? Maybe some part of me, a small one, though, realized the gruesomeness of what I had done. A part that couldn’t go on being the Real Evil Alice anymore. A part of me that longed for redemption. A part that wanted to forget through a Lullaby pill. A part of me that preferred I’d spend the rest of my life in an asylum. Better mad than being the Real Alice.
I really hope this tiny part is still inside me somewhere.
Chapter 55
THE PRESENT: MARGARET’S OFFICE, PARLIAMENT
The call came while Margaret was staring at her reflection in the mirror, wondering if she was really as beautiful as she managed to fake.
“Margaret speaking.”
“It’s done,” Carolus answered.
“Are you sure?”
“We should celebrate,” he said. “She is the Real Alice. And she knows it. She is one of us.”
Margaret’s smile almost messed with her surgical beauty. She was advised against smiling too much and stretching out her Botox festival. But she couldn’t help it. This was the moment everyone in Black Chess had waited for. This was the moment the Queen would be forced to give her back what she had taken from her.
“Of course Alice is back,” she said. “One of us. No one can stop us from winning the war anymore.”
No one can stop me from taking what belongs to me.
Chapter 56
THE PRESENT: BUCKINGHAM PALACE, LONDON
The Queen received a similar call, from the Cheshire this time.
“Margaret doesn’t know I’ve called you,” the Cheshire said. “She will try to keep the news from you, so you’ll give her back what she wants.”
“Don’t worry about the ugly Duchess.” The Queen was Caucus-racing in her chamber. A known Wonderlastic way of celebration. You run in place, expecting to win a race, only to realize you’re stuck where you are because fate is chaining your feet. “Just tell me she is the Real Alice.”
“She is.”
“Holy Mushrooms and Wonderland Lilies!” She gasped. “It’s her. All that I’ve been waiting for. Are you sure? I mean, is she still the nasty, unforgiving, ruthless girl we’ve always known?”
“Too soon to tell. But Mrs. Tock confirmed what she saw in the past. She even saw her meeting with Mr. Jay.”
“Then it’s her. Damn you, Lewis, for erasing her image from our minds. We could have found her earlier. Tell me, Cheshire, how is she taking it?”
“Mrs. Tock says the girl is pretty shocked. There is still that small part of her that wishes she could redeem herself, but I think it’s too small to have an effect on her when she comes back to the present.”
“I wouldn’t dismiss this part.” The Queen rubbed her chin. “From what I understand now, she asked for the pill after the bus accident. She does have that goodie-goodie part in her. It must be suppressed.”
“I believe this is what she did,” the Cheshire said. “Mrs. Tock believes Alice took incredible doses of Lullaby pills so she’d forget who she is.”
“We’ll know the rest of the truth eventually,” the Queen said. “Now, you have to make sure Mrs. Tock and Mr. Tick bring her back.”
“It won’t be easy, as she still has to find her Wonder to return.”
The Queen went silent. Margaret’s plan wasn’t perfect after all. They had dug a hole for themselves by tricking Alice into needing her Wonder to survive. “I don’t care,” she said. “I want my Real Alice back. I need her so we win the war. Fix it.”
“I’ll see what we can do. How about the keys?”
“She is the Real Alice. She will find them. All that matters is bringing her back now!”
The Queen hung up and then paced left and right, her dogs following her everywhere. “Think. Think. Think,” she told herself, knowing that thinking wasn’t her best talent. “Guards!”
A few of them arrived immediately.
“I want you to chop off the heads of a thousand lions,” she ordered. “Find them. Buy them. Chop them off. This is the most festive day of my life. Understood?”
“Where do we find the lions, My Queen?” a guard asked.
“You find the lions where everyone finds the lions.”
“Which is where, exactly?” the guard asked.
“Stupid guards.” The Queen jumped atop a chair and yelled at him, “Did you ever see a lion?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“On TV.”
“That’s why you don’t know where lions are. This is what TV does to you, younger generation. Now go chop off the heads of a thousand lions.”
The guard shrugged. “I’m sorry, My Queen. But where do I find the lions, again?”
The Queen stamped her feet, risking the unbalancing of the chair. “Where lions always are. The cages of a zoo. Don’t you know that they like to live in cages and have people watching them all the time?”
“Of course, My Queen,” the puzzled guards said, and left the room.