Polk blinked, not believing the words coming out of his friend’s mouth. "Love? Charlie just because you have found a little……um relief, with the lady, that is no reason to get silly over it."
"Richard, would you call your friendship with Elizabeth 'silly'?"
"No, but Elizabeth is not a Confederate widow either. She is a member of our own Union. Charlie this is dangerous. You are a career Army officer. You know as well as I do that you are on the short list for a fort command in the western territories when this is over."
"Richard, I have been in service to this country for almost twenty years. I am tired. Tired of the killing. Tired of the mud. Tired of the blood, and the heat and the cold. Tired of having no place I can call home. For the past four years, I have killed men and boys who are from my own country, my own state, even. I do not belong anywhere any more. I want a place where I belong."
"And you think you belong here, with her? I am not trying to cause you distress, Charlie. I am just playing devil’s advocate. How does she feel about you?"
"She is taking it slow and carefully, but I think she wants me. Wants me to be here with her. At least, I hope so."
Polk sat down in the chair nearest the fireplace and just shook his head. "I have known you for nearly thirteen years, Charlie, and this is the first time I have ever heard you talk like this." He looked up to his friend. "So what are your plans?"
"This is so new, we really have not had time to make plans. I think the war will be over soon, so I will see my duty out with it, then we will have to see."
The second in command sighed, and then smiled at his friend. "Well, Charlie, if this is what you want and she truly makes you happy, I shall look forward to dancing at your wedding."
"I fully expect you to be there, my friend. Um.... Perhaps? Um... Well, that is, if she accepts my offer, um..."
"Yes?"
Well, if she accepts my offer, I would like my executive officer to stand with me."
"I would be honored, Charlie. It will be my pleasure to give you to someone else that will have to put up with your bullheaded ways. I hope the lady has better luck with you than I have."
Charlie laughed out loud, a full, rich laugh unlike any Richard had ever heard.
"Yes, I do think this lady is good for you. Congratulations, my friend."
"Well, my friend, first I have to get her to say yes."
Richard rolled his eyes. "Somehow I think you will have no problems."
Elizabeth cleared her throat as she and Rebecca entered the room. "I hope you boys are done talking about us."
Charlie and Richard both executed courtly bows. "Never, Mesdames, never when there are such lovely ladies to fascinate us." Charlie was being the charming Charlestonian.
Elizabeth shared a smile with Rebecca. "Such romantic gentlemen we have before us Rebecca."
"Indeed." She winked at Charlie before setting the tray on the table. "They do know how to turn a lady’s head. I know Colonel Redmond certainly turned a couple earlier today."
Both men remained standing by the fireplace as the ladies settled themselves. "And which heads would you be referring to, Miss Rebecca?"
"Well. It seems that two of Culpeper’s young ladies seem to have an eye for our charming Colonel."
Charlie's right eyebrow raised. "I hardly think so."
Rebecca giggled at Charlie’s response. "Please, Colonel Redmond. Those two were eyeing you like you were the catch of the day." She poured a glass for him and held it out. "The moment you said hello, they simply melted."
"I hardly think so, Miss Rebecca. More likely they wilted under Mrs. Williams onslaught."
Elizabeth chuckled. "Hardly. I heard them whispering about you as they were leaving. Miss Reynolds thinks you are just the most handsome thing she has ever seen and Miss Simms thinks you have wonderful blue eyes."
Charlie blushed. "Clearly the result of an extended lack of masculine company. Were we at peace, they would not have looked at me twice."
Now it was Rebecca’s turn to laugh. "Right." She tried to quell the laughter by sipping her brandy. "Colonel Polk, has Colonel Redmond always been delusional or is this something new?"
"Charlie has always been a modest gentleman, and rarely one for the ladies."
"Then I believe I am doubly honored to have caught the Colonel’s eye."
"My dear lady, you have caught more than my eye." Charlie dropped to his knee beside Rebecca's chair and gathered her hand into his.
She smiled, feeling him running his thumb over her hand. "Have I?"
He looked into her eyes and asked, "Can you doubt it, dear heart?"
Rebecca reached out, tracing her finger down Charlie’s cheek. "Not when you look at me like this." She brushed her thumb over Charlie’s chin. "You have indeed won my heart, Charlie."
Charlie gathered her hands in his and turned them, tenderly kissing the palm of each. Elizabeth and Polk quietly slipped out of the room, leaving the two lovers to themselves.
--*--
Rebecca removed her dress, placing it in her sitting room for Lizbet to collect for laundering. Dressed in her chemise she returned to her bedroom and turned down the bed. She puttered around the room absently, readying it for the night, while waiting for Charlie to come in. He had gone to the infirmary with Elizabeth to check on the condition of Major Montgomery.
She pulled her nightgown from the dresser and placed it on the bed. Then she slowly began undoing the buttons of her chemise. She slid it from her shoulders then gathering it at the waist she bent to push it to the floor. Stepping out of it, she turned to find Charlie standing in the doorway.
Suddenly she was frozen, the sound of her heart pounding loud and hard in her ears. A huge part of her hoped that the Colonel would come take advantage of the situation by laying his hands on her.
Charlie stood like a statue, drinking in the beauty of this woman with his eyes, torn between offering her the privilege of privacy and taking her in his arms then and there.
Finally, he remembered to breath. "Rebecca?"
The sound of his voice broke her entranced state. Startled, she reached for her nightgown, and quickly pulled it over her head. She could not look at him; her embarrassment and shame were too great.
Charlie stood there the whole time, his eyes closed, his breathing shallow. He was trembling. The voice in his head was alternating between screaming at him for being an unmannered, ungrateful clod for taking advantage of Rebecca like this, and laughing at him for dreaming that she could really love him. Between the aching want that burned through his chest and the black truth that he could never have the love he so craved, it took everything that Charlie was to remain standing. He wanted to curl around that searing pain and try to find some surcease, if only for a little while.
"Forgive me, Colonel. I did not hear you come in." She kept her eyes on the floor, too embarrassed to look at him. He must think I am awful for letting him catch me like that.
Charlie looked up at her, confused, in pain. She was saying something to him. He could not quite understand the words coming from her mouth. All he could see was that she could not look him in the eyes. "Ahhh. Uhhh. I am sorry. I did not mean to intrude." Somehow, he had to get away, but he could not seem to get his feet to work.
"You did not intrude. It is your room too. I should have changed in the other room." She gestured to the door. "I am sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you."
Charlie swallowed, hard. Somehow, he needed to get his voice back, his control back. "You did not embarrass me, dear. It is just that you are so beautiful, you take my breath away."
I am beautiful? Oh, he has been alone too long. She blushed at the compliment. "You are very kind to say such things, Charlie."
He took one step toward her. His voice dropped to a deep rumble. "I am not kind. I am truthful. To me, you are beautiful." If she had had the courage to look, she would have seen the truth of those words shining out of his eyes.