“I was just telling Robert here, I expect you’ll be mayor yourself here before too long,” Dale said.
“Oh Lordy,” Brother Jobe said. “I don’t know that I can fill your shoes.”
“A fellow like you could do this job barefoot,” Dale said.
“Maybe so,” Brother Jobe said. “I hear you’ve been doing a fair amount of it in your sleep.”
Brother Jobe cracked up at his own joke. That got Loren and Andy cackling. Dale Murray seemed to grasp that the jokes would continue at his expense, so he cut his losses and called the meeting to order.
Twenty-two
Naturally enough, the first order of business was a call for an account of how the New Faith Brotherhood happened to buy the high school, and how it was paid for exactly, and that was when Dale Murray disclosed that Brother Jobe had signed a contract to buy the school on a ten-year option term at five thousand dollars per year on an eventual purchase price of five million dollars.
“What become of the first five thousand?” Victor Gasparry asked.
“We’ve, uh, received that in the form of a note,” Dale said.
“In other words, they didn’t pay nothing.”
“Since when does anybody pay cash for real estate around here?”
“And what the hell is that five million going to be worth in ten years?” Ned Larmon said. “Why five thousand bucks’ll barely buy a wagon wheel now.”
“Fiat currency: that’s what did us in,” Rod Sauer said.
“I don’t believe there’s going to be any U.S. dollar in ten years, way things are going,” Jason LaBountie said. “I do almost all barter these days, myself. Unless someone has hard silver.”
“Then how come we don’t get some kind of barter agreement out of these people over at the school?” Cody DeLong said. “Payment of some kind in lieu of cash.”
“Funny, coming from a would-be banker,” Dale said. “I thought you liked money, Cody.”
“Money’s important, all right.” Cody said. “You don’t have civilization without it. But these aren’t normal times.”
“Make-believe money,” Ned Larmon said. “Phooey.”
“There’s more than one way to do a deal,” Terry Einhorn said.
“The contract is signed,” Dale said.
“Maybe this council can vote to nullify it,” Jason LaBountie said.
“You can’t nullify a duly signed contract like that,” Dale said.
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I’m an attorney, and I’m telling you the law doesn’t allow it,” Dale said.
“Maybe that law don’t apply no more,” Victor said.
“I’d like to know what the hell value that school has standing around empty, nobody using it, with the roof leaking?” Dale said.
“As I understand it,” Andy Pendergast said, “the disposal of any significant town asset requires a vote of the trustees. That’s what we did when we sold the snowplow garage to Bill Schroeder for his creamery operation.”
“Look at it this way,” Dale said. “These newcomers are an asset to the town, and the school wasn’t anything but a liability. So it’s a win-win for the community.”
“I hate that goddamn phrase, win-win,” Ben Deaver said. Long ago, before he farmed, he had been a United Air Lines executive. He didn’t say much at meetings, but when he did, it was usually pungent.
“That building was nothing but a damn safety hazard,” Dale said.
“How in the hell was it a safety hazard?” Todd Zucker said.
“Children were playing in there. Messing around.”
“Hell, it used to be a school. Wasn’t a safety hazard then.”
“Messing around a place without supervision is something else. They could hurt themselves,” Dale said. “Lock themself in the walk-in refrigerator.”
“Now you’re talking like a lawyer,” Victor said.
“I am one,” Dale said.
“Too bad there’s no law anymore.”
“Of course there is.”
“It’s all pretend,” Ned Larmon said. “Where are the courts, then?”
“They’ll reconvene by and by,” Dale said. “When things settle down.”
“Things are about as settled as they’re going to get,” Todd Zucker said, and several of the men laughed ruefully because they knew exactly what he meant.
“I didn’t see any courts convene in the case of that Watling boy,” Cody said.
“We’ll get to that separately,” I said. “Let’s go back to this school deal. Maybe we can work something out. Maybe it’s a good thing no cash was involved. There was nothing to get mislaid—”
“Are you insinuating”
“Oh, shut up now, Dale,” Loren said.
“You all talk about how there’s no law, and you don’t even observe the order of the council chamber.”
We went around in that vein for quite a while. But finally we gave up gibing each other and I proposed a solution: the New Faithers would work in lieu of payment, and that work would consist of civic improvement projects, starting with repair to the town water system so the next time a house caught fire we might have a chance to put it out. I further proposed that Brother Jobe be appointed to the vacant post of public works director at a salary of one dollar a year. The trustees voted him into the job unanimously with Dale Murray abstaining.
Brother Jobe said he would accept the post and the financial arrangement and he would begin making an assessment of the water system and the town reservoir right away.
Dale Murray, as mayor and chair of the board of trustees then moved to adjourn the meeting.
“We’re not done,” I said. “I told you I had a list of particulars.”
“All right, all right,” Dale said. “Don’t get all touchy.”
We turned to the matter of Shawn Watling and the fact that nobody was doing anything about it. Stephen Bullock, the elected magistrate, hadn’t commenced an inquest. Heath Rucker hadn’t started even the most elementary investigation-I knew that for a fact because I was the only person at the scene besides Wayne Karp’s bunch, including Bunny Willman, and Heath had not even spoken to me about it. So I made a motion to begin by replacing the constaLle, Heath Rucker. The other trustees glanced around at each other, and that’s when it occurred to me that nobody else wanted the job, I suppose because nobody wanted to go up against Wayne, when it came down to it.
“I move formally to remove Rucker,” I said. “Second?”
Andy Pendergast seconded.
“Mr. Rucker’s not here to defend himself,” Dale Murray said.
“He isn’t charged with anything,” I said. “We’re just firing him.”
“And anyway, why isn’t he here?” Terry Einhorn said. “He’s required to be present at town board meetings, if I remember the charter right.”
“Probably off drunk somewhere,” Cody DeLong said.
“So, who’s going to replace him then?” Dale said. “Any nominations?”
“Is that a move to call for nominations?” Ned Larmon said.
“Yes it is.”
“Then say it,” Dale said.
“Okay, I make a motion for nominations to the post of town constable,” Cody said.
There was no rush to nominate anyone. You could hear birds twittering their evening songs outside the open windows.
“You can nominate yourselves,” I said. “If anyone wants to volunteer.”
More birds singing. A horsefly buzzed across the circle of chairs. Someone coughed.
“I’ll nominate you, Robert,” Todd Zucker said finally.
“I decline because of where I stand in the Watling case.”
“All right,” Jason LaBountie said, “then I nominate you for mayor.
That brought everybody up short, and a silence followed wide enough to drive a team of oxen through.