So I close my eyes, I fucking want her so badly that my body aches, but I can’t look into those big eyes when I rob her of what she’s about to give me freely. Only closing them doesn’t help…I still see her, even though my eyes are pressed shut. A picture so vivid stares at me that it takes a second to be sure I’m not actually looking at her anymore. So I try to stop thinking, squeezing my eyes shut so hard that I’m sure my face looks like I’m in pain. But it doesn’t work to erase the god damn picture of her sweet, innocent, trusting face in my head. Not at fucking all. A few more seconds pass, my body beginning to shake as I keep myself steady, so ready to enter her, but unable to move.
“Fuuuuuckk!” I jump up as I growl, my roar so loud it echoes in the quiet, hands frantically wrenching at my hair, mind racing, trying to figure out what the fuck I am doing. Shit. Shit. Shit. I can’t fucking do it to her.
“What’s wrong?” Liv’s voice is hesitant. I must be a scary sight, yet she reaches for me without fear.
Jerking my arm away from her reach, I can tell that I’ve scared her, but I can’t let her touch me. Need to get the fuck away from her before I change my mind. “Get dressed.” My voice is cold and distant.
“What?” She’s confused.
“Get dressed, Liv. I’m taking you home.”
Neither of us says a word the whole drive back to her house. I pretend I don’t see her tears as she tries to hide wiping them away.
For the next two weeks, I avoid looking in Liv’s direction when I catch sight of her in the cafeteria. Today as I walk in, I see Missy to the left and Liv to the right, so I decide to find a new table to sit at. I take a seat next to Evan Marco and some of his football team buddies. He’s full of himself, but not a bad guy. A bit too Biffy for my taste. Daddy’s got deep pockets, makes him think he’s got value. Nothing life won’t eventually smack him in the face with and teach him a lesson. They’re in a heated debate about the point system to some game it sounds like they’ve been playing together for a while.
“The only way Evan or Kyle have a shot at winning this thing is to bag a virgin at prom. Ryan’s got five points on both of you from his two on one with the two blondes from the bonfire the other night.” Caleb Andrews has a little notebook with pages upon pages of markings and notes he’s studying as he speaks to his friends.
“Speaking of which, did anyone verify the Ryan twofer?” Evan throws out to his friends.
“Yeah, man. I fucking saw it with my own eyes. He had one giving him head and was making out with the other with his hand up her skirt. Wanted to burn my eyes out when I got a good look at his little pin dick,” Caleb laughs as he speaks.
“You guys keeping tabs on getting laid?” I smile, why wasn’t I in on this action. This sounds like one organized sport I would have actually joined at this crap school.
“Don’t even think about it Stonetti. We wouldn’t let you in giving a hundred point handicap, pretty boy. Chicks love the whole trouble thing you got going on.” Caleb is only half joking when he speaks.
“So who’s winning?”
“Well as of now, Ryan. But he’s got no more chances to earn. Banging a virgin at prom is a premium, but he’s taking Laurelyn, so that’s definitely out,” he laughs.
“So Evan and Kyle are taking virgins and can pull off an upset?”
“Yep. This is gonna go down to the last night of the damn contest.”
“What’s the winner get?” I’m thinking a long term game like this has gotta have big stakes.
Evan smiles. “A dollar.”
“A dollar? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“We’re in it for the game bro, not the cash.”
“Whatever you say man, but both would be nicer in my book.” The bell rings and we all stand. I find Liv and watch as she walks out the door before I even attempt to move in her direction. “Who’s your prom date, Evan?”
“Olivia Michaels.”
Chapter 18
Liv
I’ve taken the book in and out of my bag at least ten times by the time the buzzer rings right at seven. It’s currently hidden in the bottom of my bag, but if he takes more than thirty seconds to get up to my floor, I’m pretty sure it won’t be in there by the time he knocks.
I hear Ally open the door, but I stay in my room a few more minutes to compose myself. Eventually, I hold my breath and force myself out of hiding and make my way into the living room.
Ally is standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of wine while Vinny sits on a stool at the breakfast nook. He turns and stands as I walk into the room, leaving Ally talking to the back of his head.
“Hey.” He stands and watches me walk toward him, a slight smirk on his handsome face. I stop in front of him, suddenly feeling awkward about how I should greet him, but the feeling doesn’t last for long. Vinny hooks his hand around my neck and leans down to kiss me gently on the lips.
Looking up, I find a smile on Ally’s face and her eyebrows arched in question at the greeting I’ve just received. Her glass of wine in hand, halfway up to her mouth, she looks at my face and changes her mind, extending her hand with the glass out to me.
Desperate to calm my nerves, I take the glass and silently thank my best friend with a smile.
“You want a glass of wine, Vince?” Ally reaches into the cabinet where we keep the glasses.
“No, thanks. But don’t let it stop the two of you.” His words and smile said in jest, as I’m already gulping from my glass and Ally is busy pouring another for herself.
Ally and Vinny catch up, lots of talk about his upcoming fight. Most of what he shares, I already knew from interviewing him for my article. I’m surprised when he extends an invite to Ally. “You should come with Liv. I’ll give her a few extra tickets.”
I wonder if Vinny’s aware he just bought my best friend’s unwavering support of my new found relationship with him. She’s a die-hard sports fan, not to mention that she would never turn down an opportunity to ogle men with eight packs wearing only boxers, surrounded by a few thousand manly men hyped up on extra testosterone in anticipation of watching said men beat the crap out of each other.
I finish my glass of wine in record time and interrupt the little love fest the two seem to be sharing. “Who said I was going to your fight?” Arching one eyebrow in question, I turn to address Vinny.
“You don’t want to come?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So what’s the problem then?”
“You seem to be making a lot of decisions for me without consulting me first,” I fold my hands over my chest as I respond.
“And you don’t like the decisions?”
“I didn’t say that…but...”
“But what, Liv?” Vinny shrugs his shoulders. Clearly he’s clueless as to the point I am trying to make here.
“You’re supposed to ask people what they want before you decide things for them.”
Vinny folds his arms over his chest, mimicking my stance. “Seems like a waste of time when you already know what the other person wants.”
My mouth actually drops open. The arrogance of the man is just so unbelievable. “And what if you’re wrong as to what the other person wants?”
Vinny shakes his head and closes the distance between us, wrapping both his arms around my waist. “I have no doubt you’ll let me know if I’m wrong.” The cocky smile on his face disappears only for a second while he plants a chaste kiss on my lips.
I’ve never been to the restaurant Vinny takes me to. It’s small and intimate and would normally be something I’d appreciate, but the staff all seems to know him and I find myself annoyed that it’s clearly a place he frequents with his conquests. I don’t know why it bothers me, it just does. We’re both adults, even I’ve had my fair share of dates and overnight partners. Yet something deep inside me is bothered by knowing he’s been here and done this before…with someone else.