You seriously could call it a sick obsession, a fascination, a glorious need to claim her as my own, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, but I called it hunger, a desire to have her as my own.
“Eat this, and then go to bed.” Chance ordered, placing a sandwich on a plate in my lap. I eyed it, wondering if he had poisoned it. Eventually, hunger got the best of me and I took a bite, eating it all until it was gone.
“Don’t regret being a dick when you wake up in the morning. She shouldn’t have used you and then played that friend card when she got what she wanted,” Chance said as he got up leaving me to myself.
I settled further into the couch, knowing that he was right. I felt used. The same way I had made others feel. It was like a never ending circle for me. I don’t know if God wanted to give me a large dose of karma, or if he felt that waving Gia in front of me was a good idea, but either way I was going to turn into the devil because of her.
She was the one temptation that I wanted more than anything.
“I’m pretty sure he hates me,” I whispered to myself. I wasn’t moaning or crying over Chase. Or the fact that I had done the very thing I knew I would do by telling him to pretend to be my boyfriend.
I had ruined us before we ever began. I knew that he wanted more, hell I wanted more. I craved his body, his touch, his kisses, and the way he moaned my name, but I knew better than to jump ship with him. He was a playboy, one day he would get tired of me and bam, someone new would be brought in replacing me.
Yet, I couldn’t stay away from him. I sat downstairs for hours, watching him sleep knowing that it was the closest I could get to him without him walking away. Sometime in the late hours of the night I headed upstairs, afraid that if I fell asleep down here he would wake up and freak out, but also wondering if he dreamed about me like I did him.
It had been a month since we actually talked, every chance I got to speak to him he blew me off and I understood why, but it didn’t mean that it hurt any less. I wasn’t going to give up, though, I just didn’t know what it was that I could say to him to make him understand. Saying too much gave way to my real feelings, and saying too little didn’t tell him enough.
As I sat at the island in the kitchen pushing my frosted flakes around before class, I realized I needed to say something to him as soon as I could, and by fate he came rushing down the stairs. His hair was wet and all over the place. His body stiff and full of pent up aggression. His eyes zeroed in on me, as he went the long way around to enter the kitchen.
“Morning,” I greeted him and he grunted in return. Not even a smile or a look passed to me. Instead he kept his back to me as he got the items he wanted from the fridge. I stared for a moment before dropping my spoon into my bowl, causing a loud clank to fill the room.
I was so over being ignored and treated like dirt.
Without thought I got up from my seat and made my way over to him, gripping his arm and forcing him to face me. His eyes searched mine before dropping down to where my hand gripped his bicep.
“What is your beef with me? I get that I fucked up with the whole ‘Hey dad, this is my boyfriend’ thing, but what else was I supposed to do?” My question was rushed, and my body was flushed as desires formed in my head. I didn’t want to talk to him. I wanted to touch him. I wanted my body sliding against his.
“You used me for what you needed and then pushed me aside. Yes we fucked, and yes it was nice, but that’s all it was. You used me, and I used you.” He smiled, but it wasn’t sweet. No, it was the smile of the devil.
I shook my head knowing better than to believe his shit story, all the signals he had been giving me for the last month told me otherwise.
“You’re a liar,” I growled, pushing my finger into his chest. He pushed back, cornering me against the counter until my back was pushed against it. I could feel the heat coming off of him, his eyes lingering on my lips.
“I fucked you, Gia. I fucked you long and hard. It was good, by God it was so damn good, and when you screamed my name and your sweet pussy squeezed me tightly it was amazing, but the truth is…” His lips were almost touching mine and I wanted them too. I didn’t even care about what he was saying. My eyes started to drift close, right before he finished.
“You’re the same as all the others. You wanted to use me and you did. We both got what we wanted I suppose, and if you offer it to me again, I’ll take it. I mean that is the playboy in me.” His tongue darted out, and I felt myself pushing him away. His words forcing my happy thoughts away. I knew he didn’t mean it. I could tell in the words he spoke to me, and the fact that he had gone through ten bottles of whiskey in a month.
“You’re such a fucking liar, and that’s how I’ll see you until you are ready to be honest with me.” It took everything in me to walk away, to ignore the fact that I was simply afraid of falling for him in the worst way.
Grabbing my bag and books off the living room sofa, I forced myself to go to my classes. The day dragged on, the only upside being the fact that I finally got my test back that was given the first week in my Advanced Biology class. I guess all the study sessions with Chance and his nagging had paid off because I scored a 98, only getting one answer wrong. Taking a picture of my graded test, I sent it to Chance wondering if we should have a meet up each week just to go over everything I had learned as I made my way to my one elective class.
Women’s Studies.
“I hope everyone’s day is going great. I sent out an email last night letting you all know that I would be giving you an extra two days to work on your papers. Please tell me you all checked your emails?” Professor Winchester smiled at the class and it was in that smile I discovered something I never even realized before this moment.
She was Chase and Chance’s mom.
I don’t know how I never pieced it together in the weeks I had been attending her classes, after all they have the same last name, but it never dawned on me until now, and now it all made sense.
Her dark hair, her eyes that matched Chance’s, the exotic look in her features evident in Chase and Chance as well.
I cast my eyes down towards my paper, pretending to take notes as she wrote on the board. Having her as a professor twice a week was going to make it hard for me to forget about Chase, especially since I knew the connection between the two of them now. Rolling my eyes, I almost growled out loud. As if living with him wasn’t hard enough. The conversation with Chase didn’t help anything either, and now I was feeling worse just from looking at his mom.
Life could always get worse, right?
My phone vibrated in my shorts and I pulled my phone from my pocket, noticing an incoming text from Taylor. The text was simple and straight to the point.
Tay: Ryan Gosling
My hands started to sweat. That was emergency girl code for get your ass to me fast because I need you.
“I’m sure that text message can wait a couple minutes, right Ms. King?” I lifted my eyes to the front of the room where Professor Winchester was addressing me. I could feel my face growing red.
“Of… of course.” I tumbled over my words as if I didn’t know how to talk. She smiled at me, and I returned her smile as I put my phone away.
I waited the next ten minutes out wondering what it was that Taylor needed. We had set up the emergency code in case one of us ever needed one another. The second we were dismissed, I gathered up my things and hauled ass out of the classroom. I moved through the hallway, trying to text Taylor that I was on my way and failed to watch where I was going as I focused on one thing only.