“Should I tell them about your first kiss?” I raised an eyebrow in question at her. She sat quietly for a moment as the guys stared between us as if we were sharing a conversation inside of our heads that they couldn’t hear.
“I think it’s time to watch the movie.” Taylor changed the subject, but not without throwing a dirty look my way.
Chase leaned forward, past Taylor and Chance and into my face.
“Dirty books are the best kind of books,” he murmured, so close that I could feel his breath on my lips as he invaded my space.
He breathed out and I breathed him in, each whisper of air becoming unspoken words our hearts were desperate to speak.
They say fidgeting is a sign of nervousness. That fear makes us do crazy things and love even crazier things. I couldn’t focus on anything but Gia, which wasn’t outside of the norm for me. That’s why as the movie played before us, I found myself growing closer to her. I didn’t care about the movie, or about Taylor and Chance being near us. All that mattered was Gia, and the second that her head started to lop to one side I knew that I needed to take her into my arms, and I did just that.
Her warmth seeped into my bones, warming the coldness that had settled deep within me. She melted away all the bad and made me want to be the best part of her life that I could be.
“She snores, just warning you.” Taylor winked and then smiled at me. I muffled my laughter, not wanting to wake Gia. Having her in my arms again, even if it was while she was asleep was the best feeling ever.
I waited for the movie to finish, watching her chest rise and fall steadily as she took a breath. Her dark hair was sprawled across my chest and her smell was all around me. I could feel my cock growing hard with need, but knew that this was all I needed. This closeness to her, to feel her heart beating, to see her lips part ever so slowly as she sunk deeper into a peaceful state.
In the mass chaos that was our relationship, she was what I needed. Even if everything in my life decided to fall apart at this very moment, I knew that she would be all I would need to come back from it.
I cradled her body to my own¸ wanting us to become one. I waited a few moments before I pushed off the floor, her head lolling to the side as it rested heavily against my shoulder. Her sweet breath fanned across my face, and it took everything in me not to lean down and place a kiss on her lips.
“I’m going to take her to bed,” my voice was a whisper as I didn’t want to wake her. Chance shot me a smile and Taylor stared at me with apprehension in her eyes but said nothing. I think she knew better than that by now. If I wanted to hurt Gia, if I wanted to push her away then I would. That was just it, though, I was over pushing her away. Over making us both miserable.
I walked through the dark house, focusing my attention on getting to her bedroom without tripping or running into anything, which was harder than I thought with her in my arms.
“Everything in life has its own happily ever after, its own beauty in the chaos of darkness. That’s what you are to me.” My finger traced across her jaw line as I placed her upon her bed. She murmured something incoherent and I smiled wondering if it was my name that was falling from her lips. If she was thinking about me even in her dreams, like the nights I spent lost inside of her in mine.
I pulled myself away from her but felt the absence of her body from mine almost immediately. If I left this room right now, I would wonder around this house aimlessly through the night, unable to sleep because the only thing I needed more than my next breath was her. The only thing I wanted was her.
Instead, I did the unthinkable, I pulled my shirt over my head and removed my wallet, keys, and phone from my pockets, placing them on her nightstand. My eyes caught on a family picture she had placed there of her, her parents, and her three brothers. My heart ached to have what her parents had, hell what my parents had and to become that someday. Pushing away the thought for the time being, I crawled over Gia, wrapping my arms around her as I pulled her into my chest.
Her clothes separated our bodies from completely touching and I sighed as I squeezed her tighter to my body, willing myself to never let go. I had never felt love before, at least not for a member of the opposite sex that wasn’t related to me, but as my heart soared into my chest, I assumed that this is what love really felt like.
“Even when it wasn’t you, it always was.” The words just slipped from my mouth as if it was easier to whisper my darkest secrets out loud to her when she was asleep. I had to stop lying to myself, to her, to everyone that knew us. It had always been her, even when I refused to admit it. Even when she refused to admit it.
I held her in my arms as our hearts beat in sync. Hours had passed without an ounce of sleep hitting me as I stared at her, knowing that I would soon have to pull myself from her and leave the ball in her court.
She could always shut me out as she had before, but I prayed that she wouldn’t. I could be pushing her away going this route, but I needed to know I was worth something to her. Worth the fight. The chance. The chase.
I was tired of playing games. Tired of not having her as my own. It was time to stake claim to what was mine, and she was beyond fucking mine.
Birds chirped outside and I knew it was time to go, because if she woke up before I could get out of the room, we were either going to have this conversation about us far too early, or I was going to show her how much she truly affected me.
Slowly, I unwrapped her body from my own, regretting it but knowing that I needed to do it. I grabbed my shirt off the floor and put my belongings back in my pocket as I thought things over. I needed to find a way to let her know that I had been here all night, watching her sleep and wanting so much more than what we currently were. She rolled over, exposing the skin on her back, and a quiet groan escaped my lips. Gia was testing my will even when she didn’t realize it.
Ignoring the ache in my cock, I headed towards her desk in search of a piece of paper and a pen. I always found that it was easiest to express my emotions in a form that didn’t involve saying them out loud.
Sometimes the easiest thing you could do is write down how you felt and leave it be, let the paper be your messenger. I did just that as I picked up the pen and scribbled down how she made me feel, and as I walked away, placing that piece of paper on her nightstand, I questioned what emotions it would place inside of her. If when she awoke and read it, would she feel the need to come to me? Or if she would end everything before it had ever really started?
Before I could grab the paper and rip it to shreds, I placed a kiss against her soft skin, praying that soon I would be able to perform the motion over every single inch of her skin.
Disappearing out of her room, a mantra repeated in my head, touching my heart, and searing my soul.
Give me time and I’ll give you a love worth living for− worth chasing for.
I had never felt more rested than I did right now in my entire life. My body felt as if I had been laying in a puddle of happiness and warmth, like I’d been wrapped in love all night long.
Yawning as I stretched, I took a deep breath in and Chase’s scent surrounded me, waking me up even more. He was here. Unless I was imagining it, but his scent was too strong, too present to have only been a figment of my imagination. It was true he was inside my head, wrapped around my body, and embedded so deeply in my heart I knew no one else would ever come close to him, and if he walked away from me right now, it would be like a knife straight to my chest.