I closed my eyes. “The walls and floor are concrete. There’s no windows and one door.”
“How big was it?”
“Big. The cage only took up a portion of it.”
“Could it have been a basement?” Max asked.
“Maybe, but there were other rooms close by.” I opened my eyes. “He had other girls. I heard their screams.”
“Max, can you run a statewide search for any other girls fitting the description that have been reported missing?” Gabriel’s voice held a thread of excitement. “If he kept more than one then, he’s probably doing the same thing now.”
“On it.”
Gabriel pried the cup from my fingers. “I’ll get you some more coffee. I think that’s enough memory work for tonight.”
Max blew out a breath. “I found one, but she’s different. Name’s Jasmine Elam. She went missing from York three weeks ago.”
“What’s different about her?” Gabriel asked, placing my cup close to my hands.
“She was a stripper at a local nightclub.” Max turned the computer around. “He usually goes for rich girls or ones from a prominent family.”
“The sacrificial lamb,” I whispered, staring into the light-blue eyes of the dark-haired girl. “He uses her screams to punish you if you’ve displeased him. It’s the ultimate guilt trip. He tells you they suffered your pain then forces you to thank him.” I raised my head. “If she isn’t already dead, she will be as soon as Bethany pushes the wrong button.”
I rolled and turned until three before finally giving it up. I’d been afraid to suppress the nightmares with sleeping pills and alcohol, and I’d known the second my head hit the pillow that they were waiting for me.
“One nightmare is as good as another.” I tossed off the covers, opened the door quietly, and tiptoed past Max’s bedroom.
Max would have downloaded the video of Angelina’s murder to his computer. All I had to do was find it. The laptop was still sitting on the dining room table, and I booted it up before going to the kitchen. The thought of coffee made my stomach flip-flop, so I settled for a glass of water and walked slowly back to the table.
“Good old Max.” He’d saved the video to the desktop, so I didn’t have to trudge through his files trying to find it.
The cursor hovered over the film. Split personality. What if Gabriel is wrong and I’m a danger to others? I’d told him I would kill him if he got in the way of my killing Salyer, and I’d meant it. I didn’t care about a lot of people, but I did care about Max. I didn’t want him hurt. What if some part of me is so dead she won’t care if Max is hurt?
I moved my hand away from the computer. We’d never located the place Salyer had held me, and no one else held there had survived. He knew I’d watch this. He would have left a message no one but me would understand.
Ignoring my stomach’s earlier warning, I returned to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee before heading to the bedroom to dress. I need to go outside. Remind myself that night turns to day. The sun still rises every morning. I’m still alive.
It was quiet outside, and the aroma drifting up from the coffee cup mixed with the fresh morning air. The sky was still a dark charcoal, but in an hour or so, it would lighten to a delicate misty grey before the sun burst through, bringing light and warmth. If what I’d endured with Salyer had given me anything worth keeping, it was the realization of the beauty of the colors of life. So who am I this morning? Not the old Dakota. She wouldn’t have taken the time to enjoy this. Not the new Dakota, as she would have scoffed at the thought that life needed colors or emotions. And she wouldn’t have walked away from that computer. She’s the one I needed to watch, her and the robot. They could both be dangerous when I finally find Christian. I am going to kill him but only after he tells me the truth about my daughter.
The diagnosis of DID hadn’t surprised me. Bits and pieces of memories that weren’t mine had surfaced over the past year as I pulled my life back together. I’d read everything I could find on multiple personalities, and the bottom line was humans were multifaceted. With every mood switch, changes occurred both inside the body and externally. The mind would go to great lengths to protect itself. In some cases, the mind created barriers to emotions and memories. Without those barriers, I couldn’t have survived.
A slight click brought my attention to the house next door. A tiny flame illuminated his face. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep, and I wondered if the nightmares haunted his dreams the way they did mine. It saddened me that I couldn’t trust him and in the end might have to kill him too. I took a sip of the coffee, which had become lukewarm. I was dangerous to others besides myself, though I’d fooled myself into believing I had it under control. I could feel the changes coming and most of the time could stop them. I need to find Salyer and get away from Max before I hurt him.
Browne had said I had to face my memories of what happened to me and talk about them. The scars on my wrists were a constant reminder that he was wrong. I’d tried opening those doors once before. That was the first time I’d looked in the mirror and remembered Emma. I needed to stick with the plan. Find Salyer, force him to tell me the truth, then kill him. If Emma was dead, I had no reason to live.
The whispers came, subtle at first then growing louder. Watch the video.
11
Rage continued to build as I stared at the screen. Max should have shown the video to me immediately. It was the same room Christian had held me in and the same cage. I watched without emotion as Angelina Clark was bound and hefted up so Day could paint her. Duct tape covered her mouth, so at least I didn’t have to listen to the full volume of her screams. But I can still hear them.
The slight screech of Max’s wheelchair coming toward the dining room had me gripping the edge of the table.
“Why didn’t you show me this, Max?”
“Let me get a cup of coffee, and we’ll talk about it.”
“I want an answer, Maxwell Winchester. Now!”
He slowed and turned the wheelchair around to face me. “Because I knew you’d have the same reaction you’re having right now. Especially after you described the room he was holding you in. Damn it, I was trying to protect you.”
“I can protect myself.” I closed the video and pushed back the chair. “You should have shown it to me, Max. What else have you been hiding?”
His clear blue eyes stared at me. “What are you gonna do now, Dakota? Throw me out of the chair Salyer put me in, leaving me half a man? Stomp me like you did the mirror? You’re not the only one who wants Salyer dead. If you want to be angry with somebody, honey, take it out on him, not me.” He turned away. “I’m going for a cup of coffee. Do you want one?”
“Throw me out of the chair Salyer put me in, leaving me half a man?” Ice flowed through me, cooling the rage. At that moment, I hated myself more than I hated Salyer. I followed him to the kitchen. “I’m sorry, Max.”
He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “I know. Coffee?”
“Yes.”
He passed me a cup. “Did you watch the entire thing?”
“No. I watched up until he painted her. Is there something else?”