“Gods, you can tell why the people of Malmkrug never used this as a trade route,” Dunsany said, as he came to stand by Silus’s side. “The currents are lethal.”
Silus could only nod in agreement as he struggled with the wheel.
To the east, the sky took on a vermillion glow and he was just beginning to think that it was far too early for sunrise when, with a deafening screech, a blazing ball of scarlet energy arched overhead and impacted with the cliffs towering over their port side, sending fractures racing through the rock face. Silus pulled hard on the wheel, but whatever had broken earlier now caused the mechanism to jam, and they found themselves heading straight towards the cliffs, slowly breaking apart as they did.
“Kelos!” Silus shouted. “A little help?”
The mage raised his arms and cried out, and silence fell. A pearlescent light surrounded the ship. Silus watched in terror as an avalanche of boulders tumbled towards them, only to be deflected by Kelos’s magic.
“Thank you,” Silus said, “Kelos — can you go below and see to whatever is broken? If I can’t turn the wheel we’re not going to get very far.”
Thankfully, whatever was broken was easily repaired. Within a matter of moments, the wheel was turning again.
Though the distance between Malmkrug and Scholten was not a considerable one, their progress was slow. Every mile was a constant battle against the fierce current and the detritus of war that crowded the river’s surface. The bodies were the easiest to deal with, as they either knocked harmlessly against the ship’s side or broke apart on the prow; the collapsed sections of riverbank, however, were another matter entirely. Several times they had to stop and sound the depths with the anchor before they could progress through a narrowed channel, and by the time they neared Scholten — its peaks just visible over the high walls of the river bank — Silus was beginning to flag, his eyes growing heavier with each passing moment.
“Here, let me,” said Dunsany, carefully removing his friend’s hands from the wheel. “Go and get some rest.”
Silus nodded and went below.
As tired as he felt, however, he didn’t think he could have looked as wretched as Katya. She sat on a bunk in one of the cabins, watching Zac as he slept beside her. When Silus went to her, she shrank away, and the look he gave her chilled him more than any of the sights they had seen that day in Twilight.
“When we get to Scholten…” she began, until sobs took her words away.
Silus watched, utterly helpless, as she struggled to regain her composure.
Katya swallowed, blinked and then started again.
“I have an aunt in Scholten, I believe you met her once. When we get to the city, Zac and I will go to her.”
“Okay, then tell me where I’ll find you.”
“No.”
“But, Katya, Twilight has gone to war. You may not be safe-”
“Oh, and you think we’ll be safer with you? You think you’ll be able to defend us from what is happening; that you’ll be able to protect us from yourself?”
“But Zac; Katya… he’s my son!”
“And if you love him, you’ll understand that what I’m proposing is the best for him. He doesn’t know who his daddy is anymore, Silus. This thing within you… it could come back at any time. Kelos told you that you have a destiny and you do, but not with us.”
“Katya, please don’t do this. I love you both so much. Remember how long we tried for Zac? Remember how blessed we felt the first time you held him in your arms?”
“Please, this isn’t easy.”
“What about me? I don’t think you realise how much this hurts.”
“That’s the problem. It is all about you, and there’s no room for us in your life now that you know what you truly are.”
Silus felt like tearing the room apart then, felt the burn of anger and waited for it to overtake him. But he couldn’t. Katya was right. He was a completely different person from the one she had married. He could no longer justify the danger they would be in if they stayed together. He wanted only what was best for Katya and Zac, and so he had to let them go.
“Just give me one thing,” he said.
“And what is that?”
“Five minutes alone with my son. I want to say goodbye properly.”
Katya looked reluctant at first, but finally she nodded and left the cabin.
Silus stroked his son’s head and said his name. Zac opened his eyes and blinked.
“Hey there, looks like you slept through all the excitement.”
“Mummy?”
“She’s just in the next room. There’s no need to be afraid. Listen, you know that Daddy would never hurt you, right?”
“You hurt Emuel.”
“And that was a mistake, Zac. Daddy thought that Keldren would make him all better. Daddy…” Silus realised that if he was going to talk seriously to his son, he shouldn’t talk down to him. “I made a mistake. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But you must understand that I would never, ever hurt you.”
The strength of feeling behind his last statement made Zac flinch and Silus reached out to him. His son looked at the outstretched palm as though it were a weapon.
“And that’s why you and Mummy are going on your own journey,” he said, after swallowing the hard knot of grief threatening to choke his words. “You’re going to stay with Aunty Kearney. You’ll be safe there, away from all of… this.”
“Are you coming with us, Daddy?”
“No, I’m not. And that’s why you have to be a brave boy, because you may not see Daddy again for a long time.”
Zac began to cry then, great sobs that shook his little body. Silus gathered him close and for a moment he didn’t say anything. Instead, he buried his face in his son’s hair, inhaling the rich, sweet smell of him, feeling his small warm body against him and not wanting the moment to end, ever. Because, here, he was in the only safe and good place on all of Twilight.
“I promise you, Zac, I will find you again. One day, a long time from now, you’ll meet a man you don’t at first recognise. That man will tell you a story, of a stolen ship and a little boy raised in chaos, and of how hard the man fought for that boy to have a safe, normal life and a place he could call home. And when the story is done you will maybe find the strength to forgive the man, because you’ll understand that everything he did — even the things that seemed cruel and wrong — was all for you.
“I love you, Zac Morlader. I love you more than I think you’ll ever know.”
Silus desperately wanted to hear his love returned, but he just held onto his son as the boy sobbed into his shirt, and when Katya came back into the room, he nodded that he was ready.
Silus had never heard Scholten so quiet. Usually the capital city of Vos was awash with the cries of traders, merchantmen and the preachers who harangued the unholy at every streetcorner chapel. Not a minute would pass that was not marked by the ringing of a bell in some Final Faith church or the screams of a heretic being ‘cleansed’ in the central square. Now there were only the sounds of the gulls hovering over the city, occasionally diving among the streets and buildings to retrieve scraps of meat, the provenance of which Silus dreaded to contemplate. Despite all of this, Katya still stood on the quay with a bag of supplies slung over her shoulder and Zac’s hand held tightly in hers.
“If there’s anywhere that will be safe in this city, it will be Aunt Kearney’s,” she said. “Sorry Silus, but this really is goodbye.”
“Then take care. Both of you. And don’t forget me.”
“Silus Morlader? As if!”
When he held her for the last time, Silus was relieved to find warmth in Katya’s embrace. That small hope would make everything to come much easier to bear.
“I love you,” he said.
“I know you do.”
Silus watched as his wife and son walked away and then he watched the place where they had last stood, and only Dunsany clearing his throat broke him out of his reverie.