She has no reason to trust me, especially since I’m a man. I have to keep reminding myself I’m the only other man she has met in her entire life and I’m asking her to believe my words when she has no good reason to.
Trust is earned with respect, and she hasn’t known me long enough to respect me.
“We are now your friends. Friends don’t hurt each other, not deliberately anyway. I know we will need to earn your trust, but if you can stay here today, rest, and let Miss Catherine look after you that would be great. You need to recuperate anyway. I know this will all be foreign to you, but I need some time. I will deal with William and the house. Can you do that for us?”
I need her to stay here for a couple days, and then we can hopefully convince her we are worth her respect. It’s not a lot of time to win her over.
I can stay here today, and maybe tomorrow, and see what happens. Boxer knows the area. I do not. I’m a prisoner to my inexperience. I’m twenty-one and feel like a child. I’m very lost to a world I know nothing about living in by myself. I really have no choice but to stay here. I can’t support myself, so I must do as I am told. I will not look at this as anything other than a means to an end for a new independent life for myself. A life filled with my own decisions.
I do feel safe around this man. Boxer doesn’t make me feel like Master William did. I’m not frightened of him, and he trusts that I told Miss Catherine the truth.
It’s hard to think; there’s too much going on in my head. I need these people for the moment. I want support. I can’t do this by myself. That much I know. There’s a dead body to answer for. I do not want to be judged for my master’s death.
I don’t want to be discovered.
I don’t want strange people looking at the recordings.
“There’s video footage I left back at the house that I don’t want people to see. Master William said nobody knew about me.” I can feel the panic starting to rise inside me, the sheer horror of anybody seeing those tapes of my existence and judging me, questioning me. “I don’t want to be discovered. I want to stay a secret.” My voice is stronger, trying to convey how important this is to me. I want to be heard by him.
“You have my word if I discover everything you have told Miss Catherine to be true, then I’m willing to think about keeping you a secret from the world and we can talk about the next step. “Fair deal?”
He’s giving me the right to answer for myself, but I really have no other choice. It’s the only thing I can do.
I’ve never left William’s home in my entire life, until now. I have no actual life experience except what I’ve seen in the movies or on the computer. I have no money, no way of supporting myself, no relatives that I know of, no friends—unless I lower my guard and let these two people in. I have no means of transportation other than my legs, and I’m so sore and mentally abused. I really don’t want to accept help, but I have to. It’s a frightening thing, spelling out to myself how alone I am, unable to feed or clothe myself or put a roof over my head without people asking questions I have no answers to. I had everything given to me at Master William’s home, but it came at a great price.
Essentially, I’m an alien on my own planet. I’ve landed at Miss Catherine’s house, and I can only rely on these people until I can do it myself.
They seem genuine and like they really want to help me, so I have to resign myself to the facts. If I run and Boxer doesn’t help me, then I will be known to the world because the police will find the recordings and proof of my existence. Where would I hide? Somebody has to answer for what happened, and I don’t want to be sat in front of people. I left all the footage for anybody to watch except the hard drive I took from the library, put inside my pillowcase, and brought with me. I will be hunted down because they will know I lived with him. I left a crime scene; the crime being committed against me. Master William drummed enough into my head to scare me out of ever running.
I need to let Boxer go, and hope he decides to keep me a secret. I have to give him time.
I nod my head.
He looks relieved. “I’m going to leave the room so you can get dressed.” He slowly stands up, keeps his distance from me, and walks up the stairs to find Miss Catherine.
Boxer has shown me nothing but kindness and respect. Something I’m trying to understand. He doesn’t know me. I could have killed my master.
I stop thinking and start getting dressed as best as I can. My jeans are the only difficulty, but I manage and grit my teeth through the pain. I don’t want to be caught naked by Boxer.
My hair is no longer braided and, for the first time, I notice how long it is. Somebody took it out of the wet braid and it is now a shaggy mess. I’m used to being touched, but this seems caring rather than sinister. I suddenly have this determined feeling to cut it. The last time I had it cut I was still a little girl. I also don’t want these clothes on because Master William bought them for me.
I’m dressed when Miss Catherine and Boxer come back downstairs, and I have the urge to do something. I do not know how to be around people, so I busy myself trying to pick up the pieces of the smashed vase, but find my hands are pretty useless.
Boxer comes over, crouches down beside me, and starts picking up the pieces. I stand up and face Miss Catherine. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to break the vase. I...” I actually don’t know what to say. I broke something that wasn’t mine. I eye the door. It seems the only way I can escape what has happened. I don’t know how to fix the vase, and I don’t know how angry Miss Catherine will be with me.
A wave of doubt assaults my mind. I shouldn’t have come here. I don’t know these people. I...
Boxer stands up next to me, holding the bigger pieces of the vase. “Whisper, don’t overthink it. We’re not like the man who held you prisoner. That may or may not have been Miss Catherine’s favourite vase, but it was an accident. You will not be punished for it. That’s not how it happens in her home, nor mine. She may be upset that the vase is broken, but she will move on.”
“’Chile, it was an antique, but a human is more important than material items.” She comes over and pats my arm. “Boxer telIs me you’ve agreed to be stayin’ on a couple days. It would be my pleasure to have your company. Now, because you be trustin’ that I be doin’ right by you, I want to be extendin’ the same to you.”
She puts her hand into the pocket of her neat floral frock and pulls out a brass key.
“This be the only key I possess to the front door. If you like, it is now yours to hold onto until you decide to be leavin’. That way, you know you are free to be goin’ on your way whenever you be wantin’ to.” She looks very pleased to be showing me this sign of good faith.
“Boxer, if you don’t mind takin’ dem pieces to the trash, and I’ll be fixin’ us all somethin’ to eat.” She puts a careful arm around my shoulders. “Come, honeychile, you can repay me by learnin’ how to make a hearty Cajun breakfast bake.” She looks me up and down. “I got me some work ahead, gettin’ some meat on dem bones of yours.”
I look at Boxer, who winks at me, then I do the only thing I know how to do, and that’s take orders. My feet are moving before my brain tells me I should be saying no. But I must repay Miss Catherine.
Boxer’s words follow me into the kitchen. “Whisper, this is what friends do. They make up for things by helping each other. Your life now comes with a full set of rights. You will be what Miss Catherine needs.” I turn and give Boxer a worried look. I see the recognition in his eyes. “I meant somebody to fuss over. Miss Catherine has no family. She’s kind, and she’s loyal to those who earn her respect. You already have her respect. You are strong, and she is too. You have a lot in common.” I give Boxer a confused look, because how could we have anything in common? While Miss Catherine busies herself getting things out of her icebox and pantry, Boxer leans in close to my ear and quietly says, “Love, she was once a slave too.”