Wrenched

I know I’m free to do as I please, and this has been enough for me, but I’m young and I know there’s a big world out there for me to one day conquer.

I think another change of topic is due. “Does Boxer know about you and Joel?”

Lincoln shrugs. “No reason to really tell Boxer. It’s private. I don’t feel it makes a difference to my work ethic.”

He looks at his watch and pulls some cash from his wallet then sets it down on the table. “My turn today,” he states. I go to protest, but I know there’s no point. “I actually have to cut this lunch a little short and get going, but how about we go for a ride on the bikes later this week? I know Boxer’s away at the moment and won’t be back for a few days, and this will be the first time it’s only you and Miss Catherine—”

I cut him off. “We’ll be fine. I will be fine.” Having Linc here, I almost forgot about the document I was just given. I worry my bottom lip thinking about what I should do.

Linc watches me for a few beats, hoping I’ll talk first. “Babe, what is it? I have to leave, but I gotta know what it is that’s worrying you.”

I exhale loudly because I can do this. I’m about to let a wall down and show Linc the letter. “Lincoln, Joel is so very lucky to have you. I just wanted to say that, and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. You really are my best friend.”

I’m just about to reach for my handbag, when his phone starts ringing. He looks at the caller ID and holds one finger up at me as he steps away from the table to answer the call. He looks upset as he listens to the caller. Before he disconnects, I hear him say, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I get up from the table and walk over to Linc’s side. He’s running his hand through his hair and pacing back and forth, clearly upset.

“Are you all right, Lincoln?” I know he isn’t. I touch his back lightly before he spins to pace again.

He gives me a grimace, which I haven’t seen on Lincoln before. “Whisper, what was it you wanted to tell me before?” He’s changing the subject and trying to behave in a manner that won’t alert me to his distress.

“Nothing, I’m fine. Do you want to talk about that phone call?” I forget my own worries because the caller has severely upset him.

“Whisper, something has just gone down and I don’t have the time to talk about it now. I need to find out more information first.” He sees my worried look and tries to reassure me he is fine by enveloping me in a warm hug. “I have to get going.” He steps back and ducks his head to look me directly in the eyes. “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”

I know he needs to hear I’m okay because this is Lincoln, my friend and all round good guy. I also know he needs to be somewhere urgently and I’m holding him up.

I brush off my worries. “Nothing that can’t wait a few days. Please, you go and do what you need to do, and I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.” I give him another hug and a kiss on the cheek, something I never do to him. I just feel like he needs some comfort from me. He pulls away and I give him my most convincing poker face.

He checks his watch again and starts walking backwards, away from me. A black SUV pulls up to the curb a half-block up the main street, and Lincoln waves to me. “Later, babe,” he says, then turns around, jogs to it, and jumps in. The driver executes a speedy U-turn and drives away from me.

All of a sudden, I get a chill up my spine. I put my dark sunglasses on and casually look around the street. I can’t see anything out of the ordinary, but the feeling won’t subside. I decide to head back to the bar at a brisk walk and get back to work.

 

I’ve had too much fucking time to think about my past on the ride to Louisiana. I had blocked out that part of my life, even though it helped to shape the person I am now.

I’m ruthless.

I don’t give second chances.

I get the job done.

Conscience plays no part in my world.

You fuck me or the club over, you are done for.

I’m indeed a soulless bastard through and through.

I’m grateful I was taken from my father, or God only knows what would have become of me.

Would I even be alive?

He should’ve been at the top of my retribution list. But, I had known if the bastard wound up dead, all bloodied and broken by my hands, then I would’ve been doing the people I call my parents a real injustice for all the kindness they showered me with. They were my kryptonite. I would do anything for them.

I may have had a bad start in life, but they tried real hard to make up for it. It’s the one line I couldn’t cross, for their sakes.

The couple that took me in were in their late fifties at the time. They were kind people, good people. They showed me I was loved.

But then that was taken away from me.

I have them set up in the best nursing home I can afford, and they’re none the wiser to my Soulless Bastards life, mainly because they both suffer from advanced dementia. I’m a ghost of a son to them; they don’t know me anymore. Bad things happen to really good people, and for that, I’m truly sorry. They saved me, and I can’t save them from this fucking disease.

I’m an educated man, I have properties, and I’m ex-military. I’ve fought for my country, and I know I made them proud. It was important to me they got to see that before their minds were attacked and their memories stolen. I gave up trusting in a world that can give and then take away so cruelly when the two people who meant the most to me on this planet had their minds ravaged.

I’m without parents again.

I shake my head to get rid of these thoughts. This shit just can’t be reversed. I’ve had too many hours on the ride over with nothing but my early childhood to think about on replay, and I’m on a cliff, teetering. No fucker better look at me sideways or they’ll be wishing they hadn’t.

I’m fucking furious this can of worms in my head has been reopened. That shit needed to stay buried. Now I have to sort this bitch out, so I can bury it all again.

There’s no love lost. A man like my father should have been caged and the key thrown away.

I have vengeance on my mind, and I’m not taking on any jail time because of that slut. I’ll do time for the club because that’s where my loyalty lies, but I won’t take it on because of my own stupidity.

I need to be clear-headed. I accelerate and hope the sounds of my Harley can soothe the inferno that’s raging inside me.

 

Once I got back to my office, I put the envelope on the table and let it stare back at me the whole time, while I finished off the day’s work.

My phone rings and it’s Miss C. I put her on speaker phone so I can tidy up my desk while I talk to her. “Hello, honeychile, I’m just checkin’ in to make sure you are doing well. Dem old bones of mine are tellin’ me otherwise.”

I love listening to her talk. It soothes me. I don’t want her bones to worry her, so I put on my strong voice. “Hey, Miss Catherine, don’t you be worrying about me. I’m just a little off with Boxer away, and Linc got a call today that has me a little worried for him. I’m just gonna finish up here soon and do a workout then head on off to bed and do some reading. If you don’t hear from me, it just means I’m having a test run at being independent. This is all new to me.” I hope that sounded convincing enough.

“I understand. I’m your safety net if you need me. Don’t hesitate to be callin’ me any time of day.”

“I know, Miss Catherine. You have a good night and take care. I’ll check in to see how you are doing tomorrow.” I know she doesn’t want me fussing over her either. She’s a strong woman to have stayed single and become so self-reliant. She’s so proud of what she has achieved. I’ve watched Boxer keep an ear to the ground with Miss C. He knows she’s old, and he knows she would be offended if he kept an open watch on her. She’s alone in that house surrounded by open fields, the closest neighbor a several-minutes-drive away. She doesn’t fear the isolation; she welcomes it.