“Why don’t you put that knife down, and we’ll just . . . talk.” He holds out his hands like he’s innocent. “I put my gun away, see? No harm, no foul.” He’s smiling at me like I’m Little Red Riding Hood for real, and it’s creeping me way the hell out. What big teeth you have, Grandfather. He has pointy incisors like a vampire. I can almost believe those monsters are real with him standing there in his black jeans. But in this story they’d be demons, because there is nothing sexy about this vampire with a gun in his waistband. Ugh.
“Yeah, okay.” I glance at the doorway and then the shelves next to the entrance to the room. “I guess I could put the knife down on the shelves over there.” I give him an apologetic smile. “I paid a lot of money for these, so if it’s okay with you, I’d rather not put it on the floor.”
He gestures to the bookcase. “Go ahead. Be my guest.” He smiles again, bigger this time.
I turn my stance into one that doesn’t appear as wary, and walk slowly over to the shelves, acting like I’m not watching him out of the corner of my eye. Just keep your eyes on the pink shirt, psycho. Piiiink shiiiiiirt . . .
He stands up straighter and moves into position behind me. He’s a few feet away when I catch sight of Felix lying in the hallway where he’s dragged himself. He’s on his side, panting, his head angled up to look at me. He whines when he sees me staring at him.
“Felix!” I yell, putting the knife on the shelf and then running over to bend down by him. Yes, I’m worried for my puppy’s life, but I’m also trying to get nearer to my weapons so I can serve up a nice heaping helping of revenge on the man who hurt my baby.
“He’s fine. I just tripped on him when I was walking down the hall.”
I grind my teeth together to keep from responding how I want to. I touch Felix’s little head gingerly, calculating how fast I can jump to the side and grab one of my weapons before David figures out what I’m doing and gets his gun out to shoot me.
Taser or singlestick? Singlestick or foot to the testicles? Decisions, decisions . . .
“Stand up.” David’s just two feet away, his tone telling me he has plans for me. I’m absolutely sure I do not want to know what those plans are.
“My dog is hurt,” I say, panicking. I won’t get to my purse in time. That leaves the singlestick, but that’s no match against a gun!
“He’ll be fine. Stand up.”
I point at my purse. “Do you mind if I call my vet really quick? My phone is in my purse.”
He laughs. “So’s your pepper spray, I’m sure. Stand up. This is the last time I’m going to say it.”
I slowly get to my feet, taking a step toward the front door as I do, limping a little and bending down to touch my knee. “Ow, darn it. Leg cramp.”
I pretend to have difficulty putting pressure on my leg. I take two half-limping steps to the side. The singlestick beckons.
“Oh, poop, I have a charley horse.”
He smiles at my choice of words. Asshole. He really does think I’m Little Bo Peep in a pink shirt. That makes me angrier than that stupid gun he has in his pants. I’m not an airheaded girl standing in a field with nothing better to do than watch a bunch of sheep eating grass, dammit!
“You know, if I had just met you in a different place at a different time . . . ,” he says, “I think we could have hit it off.” He reaches down and grabs at his crotch, squeezing it.
It’s then that I realize he’s aroused.
Oh, God. I think I’m going to be sick. He’s going to rape me, isn’t h e?
I smile back, trying like hell to keep all the fear and disgust I’m feeling out of it. “Really? That’s so sweet.”
No! It’s really not! It’s really, really, really awful, asshole!
My eyes go wide and I gasp with all the drama I can muster. “Oh! My leg!” I fall to the floor and land on the singlestick. Disney would totally recruit me for one of their kids’ shows if they could see me now. I’m so not believable at all.
He growls and reaches for me. “That’s enough fucking around! Get over here!” He has me by the pant leg, and he’s dragging me toward him.
The singlestick feels awesome in my hand, like I was born to swing it. I yank it off the floor and bring it around with as much strength as I have left in me.
“Rreeeaahh!” I scream, relishing the strong thunk I hear when it makes contact with his leg.
He yells in pain as his knee buckles.
Keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. Dev’s instructions race through my head.
I bring the stick up and smack him on the head with it when he bends over to grab me again.
“Eeerph!” He falls forward and lands on my lap.
I emphasize every word that comes out of my mouth with another whack from the stick, hitting him on the head, shoulders, back, and arms.
“Get!” Whack!
“Off!” Whack!
“Me!” Whack!
“You awful!” Whack!
“Scumbag!” Whack!
He finally stops moving, and I pause the abuse to wriggle out from underneath him.
Scrambling to my knees, I crawl over to my alarm system, using the door handle to get to my feet. All the lights on the keypad are out.
“Of course!” I scream, glancing back at David. “You destroyed my security system, you asshole!”
He’s very still.
“Oh, God, please don’t let him be dead.” I tiptoe over and take the gun from his back where it was tucked into his belt. It’s much heavier than I expected it to be. Opening the front door, I throw it out onto the front lawn.
Just as I’m about to close the door, Ozzie’s truck pulls into my driveway. I take a step toward him, but then I collapse, my legs going out from under me for real this time. I land on the porch in a puddle of tears.
“Ozzie!” I screech, reaching out a hand to him. Again, very dramatic, but much more believable, so of course Disney won’t want me now.
He jumps out of his door and sprints over to me, his face fiery red and his body appearing twice its normal size. Sahara is right behind him, growling, barking, and drooling like a mad hound from hell.
My heroes.
I weep with relief. They’ve come to save Fee and me. I’ve never been so happy to see someone in my entire life. I don’t care if he loves Toni. I will forgive him anything now.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
Turns out, there’s nothing to forgive. Silly me.
“I’m only telling you this because I don’t want you to think I’d lie to you,” Ozzie says, holding me in his arms in his bed. We’re fully clothed, just coming down from the craziness that was being at the police station, questioned for hours about what happened and then being at the vet to find Felix there just out of surgery to repair a broken leg. He will come home in a couple days when they’re sure he can walk on his pinned limb.
“If you want to lie to me, you can,” I say, patting his massive chest. “You saved me today.” I look at the clock. “Or yesterday, technically.”
“First of all, I don’t want to lie to you. Ever.” He takes my fingers and kisses them. “Lies are not a good foundation for a solid relationship.”
I smile like the Cheshire Cat but say nothing. He’s on a roll and I don’t want to interrupt. A relationship! Wheeee!
“Second of all, I asked Toni if I could discuss something that relates to her, and she gave me her blessing.”
“So you didn’t have a relationship with her?”
“Not like you’re thinking, no. I was her sponsoring employer while she was on parole. She finished that parole a few months ago. She’s on her own now.”