A smile crept onto my face, and I nodded. “Fine. You can give me a ride.”
Relief replaced the exhaustion on Vincent’s face, and he offered me the spare helmet. As I climbed onto the bike behind him, he reached behind him and grasped my arms, wrapping them around his waist.
When he started the engine, my heart gave a jolt, and I wasn’t sure if it came from the thrill of being on the bike or from being this close to Vincent again even after I’d decided that I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.
As Vincent sped off down the road, the mixed feelings I had towards him started seeping into my thoughts. Primarily, was I attracted to Vincent? I didn’t really pay attention to guys much, even though a few had asked me out before. Of course, I’d turned them down and I think eventually, other guys had taken the hint and moved onto girls who showed more interest in them.
That didn’t bother me though. I preferred to focus on my school work and taking care of my family. I mean, sure, it would be nice to have someone there for you in more-than-a-friends way, but the whole dating thing wasn’t appealing to me.
The last time I’d had a crush on a guy was when I was fifteen. It’d been at the end of freshman year, and Carter Hammond and I had been flirting for a while. I’d been pretty sure he would ask me out before summer break, and then we’d spend all summer getting close.
But all that had quickly been forgotten, because a couple of months before summer break, my dad lost his job, gambled away our savings, and my mom upped and left us without a word.
After that, my life fell apart around me, and I was powerless to do anything about it. The only thing I could do was try and hold my family together as best as I could. Savannah was about to start high school and Nathan had already started applying for colleges.
That summer, Nate couldn’t stand to live in the same house as dad, so he’d applied for a room on his college campus and moved away at the start of summer. He’d been lucky; he’d missed a lot of what had happened afterwards.
Because after Nathan had left, my life had truly become a nightmare. Dating Carter Hammond was the last thing on my mind when school started up in the fall. For that matter, dating anyone was the last thing on my mind.
News about my messed up family life had warded off the advances of other guys—no one wanted to deal with their girlfriend’s crazy, alcoholic father—and though guys looked at me, they never approached me with any other intentions.
But now, pressed against Vincent like this, I wasn’t sure what to think. He was the only guy in a long time who had dared to look me in the eye. Who only saw me, and didn’t see the girl who came surrounded by rumors.
I was being silly though. There was no chance for a guy like Vincent and a girl like me. We were way too different—we were from completely different worlds. Vincent wasn’t the kind of guy who settled down, and I wasn’t the kind of girl who could handle instability.
And, here I was running away with my crazy thoughts when there was no logical reason for me to be having these crazy thoughts about Vincent. It was never going to happen. I would never let it happen. And, besides, I doubted that I was even his type. He was the kind of guy who made a move when he liked a girl, and obviously there was no interest on his part.
Therefore, I should stop thinking about how firm his stomach muscles felt beneath his shirt. Yes. I. Should. Stop. Now.
Thankfully, we’d reached the outskirts of Penthill, and it only took a couple of minutes before Vincent was pulling up outside the community center. We’d gotten here pretty fast, despite Vincent’s best efforts to stick to the speed limit. I was pretty sure if I hadn’t been with him, he would’ve broken the speed limit within a minute of starting the bike.
When I hopped off the bike and took off the helmet, I was surprised to find that Vincent was also getting off and removing his own helmet.
He rested his helmet on the seat and ran a hand through his hair, trying to remove all signs of helmet hair. I preferred it when he let his hair hang loose instead of plying it with gel and smoothing it back. Either way, it highlighted his cheekbones like crazy. He had amazing cheekbones.
“So, listen.” Vincent blew out a breath, looking uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious he was having a hard time communicating or talking about his feelings. It was kind of cute, actually. “I get why you don’t wanna come back and tutor Dylan. I was a total asshole to you, and I probably said things I shouldn’t have said, but you kinda pissed me off when you said that Dil was scared of me.”
“I know and I’m-“
“It’s just that I try so fucking hard, Stelle. I try so hard to give Dil the life that me and my brothers never had growing up. But I keep screwing it up. I keep making mistakes and I can’t make it right.” Vincent paused, breathing hard. His eyes drilled into me and an electric current shot up my spine. “I know you don’t think much of me. You made that pretty clear the first night we met. But I’m telling you the truth; I’m doing every damn thing I can to make that kid’s life better.” Vincent’s voice cracked, and he buried his head in his hands, tendrils of hair falling over his face.
Without really thinking about what I was doing, I stepped forward and brushed the loose strands of hair off his face before placing a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. It was difficult for me to see his tough guy exterior crack. Obviously, Dylan’s well-being meant a lot to him.
Vincent jerked up, his eyes wide and startled as he stared at my hand and then at me, as though trying to deduce whether I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t entirely sure I hadn’t. I mean, I had just tried to console a Madden for the second time in a week!
There was something very wrong with this picture.
Heat assaulted my face at Vincent’s reaction, and I took a hasty step back, feeling like the most moronic person in the world. I was mentally slapping myself over and over again for doing such a stupid thing.
Just because Vincent was upset didn’t mean that I could console him. We weren’t friends; we barely put up with each other. And, he was a Madden. A freaking Madden! I had to remind myself of that any time I let my feelings get the better of me.
I’d let myself get carried away again. The distance between us had to stay intact. I couldn’t just go around touching him all the time because I felt bad for him.
“Uh, um, yeah.” I stammered, at a complete loss for words. Vincent was still staring at me like I was a space alien, so I had to fill the excruciatingly awkward silence somehow. “I-uh-see that you’re being genuine ab-about wanting the best for Dylan, but-“
Before I could continue, Vincent reached out and took my hands in his. And you know what happened? My heart stopped. It freaking stopped. I mean, it didn’t literally stop; I could still feel it beating rapidly in my chest, but in some weird way, it stopped.
“Please, Stelle.” Vincent’s voice was low; his eyes burned into me, and his skin was blazing against mine. “I know you couldn’t care less about me if you tried, but Dylan needs you. If you stop coming over, it’s gonna kill him in a way you don’t understand. You’re not doing this for me; you’re doing it for him. Don’t let him walk away from this thinking that his circumstances make people treat him differently.”
There was so much sincerity in Vincent’s voice that I felt my defenses beginning to crumble. He was right. Dylan depended on me. In a couple of weeks, we’d formed an attachment, and I couldn’t break his heart like that. I would hate for him to go down the same path as his brothers, knowing that I could’ve made a difference in his life.