“Chili,” Cohen said. “Estella cooked.”
“You want?” Riley asked, as he searched for plates and bowls.
“Fuck yeah!” Tyson said, walking over to where I stood with Dylan and Goat.
“Three dollars,” I said, pointing to where Estella stood with the jar in hand.
“What the fuck? I have to pay to eat in my own house?” Tyson stared around at Estella, not realizing that he’d just added another dollar to his swear debt.
“Swear jar,” Goat responded. “And you owe four dollars now.”
“What the f—“ Tyson caught himself before he spewed another expletive. Then he patted his boxers, frowning. He looked around at Goat sheepishly. “Can I get a loan?”
Muttering under his breath, Goat pulled out a five dollar bill and put it in the jar. Estella gave him a confused look. “I only needed four dollars. Do you want change?”
“Hold on.” Goat turned to Tyson and shot him a glare. “You owe me, asshole.”
Estella’s hand shot to her mouth, and she gasped, and the guys started cracking up at the entire situation. Goat turned back to her with a winning smile. “I don’t think I’ll be needing that change.”
“Can we eat now?” Three said from where he was still standing by the stove. “I’m fuc-fluttering hungry!”
“Yeah, I’m so fingering hungry, too,” Hudson chimed in.
“Riley, give us some motherfloating plates already,” West said, grinning at Estella who was shooting everyone looks of disapproval.
Finally, she sighed in defeat and placed the jar down on the counter before busying herself with serving everyone a bowl or plate of chili herself. Once we all grabbed a plateful of food—Estella had cooked some rice too—we all found a place to sit. Some of the guys sat on the floor, others preferred to stand. Estella, Tyson, Dylan, and me sat at the kitchen table, and there was silence all round as everyone stuffed their faces.
I noticed Estella glance around, a look of disbelief filling her face, before her eye caught mine and she gave me a small smile. Even when she started eating, I continued watching her, because there was nothing else in this room that my eyes would rather look at than her.
It was hard to explain exactly why I was looking at her. Let’s just call it interest. Yeah, that was the word. She was interesting. There were no other feelings involved aside from interest. I kept telling myself that as I finally lowered my gaze and stuffed a spoonful of chili and rice into my mouth.
“This is sooo good,” Todd declared, finishing first. He glanced over at Estella expectantly. “Can I have seconds?”
“Sure you can.” Estella was beaming, her features lit up, making her even more beautiful than she already was. I wanted to freeze that smile and take it with me everywhere. “I’m so glad you like it. Does anyone else want seconds?”
“Yes!” the guys chorused together.
Estella stood up, refilled plates, handed out drinks, and once everyone had finished eating, she ordered West and Three to do the dishes while she helped Dylan with his homework.
The rest of us went outside to smoke so that Estella could tutor Dylan in peace. The first thing the guys had to say to me was how amazing Estella was. They’d met her twice now and she was obviously making a good impression on them.
“I didn’t get a chance to ask you before; are you with her?” Topher asked, leaning against my truck.
“Nah,” I said, and some pathetic part of me hated that I wasn’t. She wasn’t a quick fuck; she was the kind of girl who came into your life and completely changed it.
“She’s fucking gorgeous,” Todd said, as though I didn’t already know.
“But what’s with the old lady clothes?” Cohen wanted to know. “She always dress like that, Vin?”
I nodded, taking a long drag of my cigarette, letting the smoke settle around my insides. “Yeah, I dunno why she dresses like that.”
“Who cares?” Riley said, pulling out a flask from the pocket of his jacket and taking a swig before passing it along. “She’s gorgeous, she can cook, and she’s a good girl. What else would you want? If no one wants her, I’m game.”
Anger boiled through me, and I reached over and grabbed Riley by the collar of his jacket. “You touch her and you die. You got it?” I knew the way he treated girls and there was no way in hell I was going to let him do the same to Estella.
Riley’s eyes darted left and right as fear shot through his face. “V-vin, relax, I was kidding. I’m not interested.”
Two hands clamped down on my shoulders, and Goat and Tyson pulled me back. “Relax, Vin,” Tyson was saying, and when our eyes met, I could tell that he was surprised by my reaction. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. “You sure you’re not with her? ‘Cos’ you’re sure as hell acting like it.”
I shook him off and took a step back, breathing heavily. What the fuck was wrong with me? Where had that reaction just come from? When had I become so protective of this girl who looked down on everything I stood for?
“It’s not that,” I lied. “Dylan warned me not to mess things up this time. I’ve scared off all his tutors and I don’t want the kid to be disappointed in me if I scare Estella off too. Trust me, she already hates me enough.”
“Good,” Tyson said, and there was a warning in his voice, “because you know Ryder wouldn’t want you getting serious about some girl. Especially when you have a big fight coming up. You can’t have any distractions, Vin. You know that, right? I’m supposed to take care of ya.”
It was always about what Ryder wanted. It was never about what the rest of us wanted. If Ryder said something, we all had to follow him blindly, regardless of whether he was right or wrong.
Fuck Ryder.
But that’s not what I said, even though the guys surrounding me had my back. This was my half of the gang; these were the guys who supported me. They were my friends. Even within our gang, there was a clear divide. There were the guys who believed that I should be leading the Madden gang. I was the prizefighter. I was the one who was unbeatable. I was the one who brought in a shitload of money.
Yet Ryder’s supporters believed that Ryder should head the gang because he was the one who’d created it. He was the oldest; he was the toughest; he was the cruelest. Ryder’s friends outnumbered mine in the gang. They were older and they were just dirtier. They had dirty ways of getting money out of people. They were the ones who’d started dealing drugs on the side. That was something I didn’t want to get involved in.
So there was the stupid silent split within our group, but no one ever did anything to try and fix it. It was probably always going to be there, but that was okay. I didn’t care about leading the gang; I just cared about having enough money to make sure Dylan got through school.
“Yeah, I know.” I felt like an asshole as my eyes sought out Riley. “I didn’t mean to get rough with you. Sometimes I just lose it because of stupid shit.”
Riley didn’t seem pissed at me, which surprised me. I figured he’d hate my sorry ass for being such a dick. “Hey, don’t worry about it. You like her; I get it.”
Some of the other guys snickered, and heat crept up my neck. I ignored him because I didn’t know what the fuck to say to that. Was that why I was acting like this? Because I liked her? That couldn’t be the reason. It had to be something else.
“Hey,” Goat said, walking away a few steps and gesturing for me and Tyson to join him. “I saw Ruby on Sunday.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t know what a normal reaction to the situation was, so I just kept my mouth shut.
Tyson spoke instead, leaning forward eagerly. “Really? Where’d you see her?” He tried to act like he didn’t care in front of Ryder, but I knew there was a huge part of him that wanted Ruby back in his life.