He stared at me in disbelief. “Girls are so messed up in the head. You always think the wrong thing about us.” He blew out a breath, looking agitated. “He wouldn’t have warned us all off if he didn’t have a thing for you.”
“Um, okay then.” I was trying to process everything he’d just said, but my brain was trying to reject the idea that Vincent had claimed me as his territory.
I mean, that’s basically what he’d done, wasn’t it? Essentially, I was a like a tree that he’d peed on. But I was a tree that he’d only peed on because I was part of the routine. That didn’t mean he didn’t pee on other trees. It didn’t make me special or different; I wasn’t naïve. There were other trees in his life.
Dear lord, I was losing it. I was comparing our relationship to that of a dog and a tree. I was so glad no one could read my mind right now because they probably would declare me clinically insane.
“Estella, I’m done!” Dylan came bounding up to us just then, a huge smile plastered across his face.
My attention turned to Dylan, and I returned the smile. It was hard to be down when Dylan’s mood was so infectious. “That’s great, Dil! Did you have any trouble with the rest of the questions.”
“Nope.” Dylan shook his head, his eyes bright as he looked up at me. “Do you really have to go now? Can’t you come to our house?”
Three and Hadie walked past us, leaving Dylan and I alone. Reaching over, I ran my hand through his feathery, blonde hair, hating that I had to disappoint him. It seemed pretty obvious to me that Vincent didn’t want me at the house, and I wasn’t going to put myself in a position where he called me “desperate” again.
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” I glanced over to where Hadie was standing with Three. “My friend’s waiting for me.”
“Oh, it’s okay,” Dylan said, even though I knew he didn’t mean it. “Thanks for the stew.”
“No problem.” I took Dylan’s hand in mine, and we started to head out of the library and into the cold November afternoon. “I’ll see you on Tuesday, okay?”
There was an awkward silence as we all crowded around Three’s truck. Hadie was staring at something in the distance, Three was shooting me a teasing smile, and Dylan was somber like he was on his way to a funeral.
Finally, Dylan broke the silence. “We didn’t dance today.” He seemed sad that we’d broken our tradition, and I felt bad for letting him down.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” I said, giving him a firm smile. “There will come a time when we can dance whenever we want.”
I wasn’t sure how much truth was in that promise, but a part of me hoped that it was something that would become a possibility one day. Hopefully, Vincent would get over his issues and let me spend more time with his brother in their home.
We went our separate ways, and Hadie and I discussed how she was still trying to catch up on all the work she’d fallen behind on when she’d taken time off from school. It was sad to hear about her struggling so much with her classes, because she was so intelligent and had never had any problems academically before.
Once we got to Hadie’s house, her mom welcomed us at the door.
“Hi, Estella, it’s good to see you,” she said, enveloping me in a hug.
“Hi, Mrs. Swinton. How have you been?”
“Not too bad,” she said as she ushered us inside. “Dinner’s ready if you girls are hungry. I made meatloaf because we had leftovers from last night and I was feeling lazy.”
I couldn’t help but grin at that. The thing about Hadie’s parents was that they had a really quirky sense of humor. I absolutely loved them for it. They had really supported me and my family after my mom had left.
“Where’s Dad?” Hadie asked as Mrs. Swinton served us dinner.
“He’s working late,” Mrs. Swinton said, her expression quite serious, “but I think that’s just an excuse. I’m pretty sure he’s sleeping with the receptionist.”
I choked on a piece of meat as I tried to stifle my laugher. Okay, you’re probably wondering why I found that so funny. See, the thing is, Mrs. Swinton was the receptionist at the law firm that Hadie’s dad worked at, so undoubtedly he was sleeping with her.
“Interesting,” Hadie said, barely cracking a smile.
My best friend’s lack of reaction was pretty concerning. As she picked at her dinner with a fork, I exchanged a concerned look with Mrs. Swinton. I wasn’t the only one worried about her. I was glad to have alone time with Hadie tonight. We really needed to talk about how she was dealing with everything.
I gave Mrs. Swinton a reassuring smile, and we continued to make small talk until we were done eating. After dinner, Hadie and I changed into our PJs and climbed into her bed, getting under the covers to keep warm. Hadie had switched off the light, so I stared up at the ceiling, looking into darkness.
It was only eight o’clock, but we were both exhausted. Most kids our age would’ve been out at a party or something. I’m pretty sure Ray had mentioned something about a bonfire, but it really wasn’t Hadie or my thing. Sometimes I felt like we were both a lot older than seventeen.
“Eddie’s really worried about you,” I said, as a way to break the silence.
“Is he?’ Hadie asked, her voice tense.
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Yes, he is.”
“Okay.” She fell silent.
“He’s a really sweet guy.”
“I know.”
“I know you’re not okay,” I said, finally getting to the point. “I understand why you’re not okay, and I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”
Hadie sighed deeply. “What do you want me to say to that? I don’t know what everyone expects from me.”
“I just want you to say that you’ll be okay one day.”
“Well, I can’t say that because I don’t think I’ll ever be okay. I don’t think I’ll ever move past this. It’s impossible to forget him.” Her voice caught in her throat, and I reached over to hold her but she pushed me away. “No, don’t. It’s something I need to get over myself. I’m sick of talking about it; I just want to wallow in my misery. I want to do this on my own. In my own way; in my own time.”
I knew where she was coming from. I was the exact same. I had a lot of problems of my own that I didn’t want to share with anyone else. I dealt with them alone because when I felt everything slipping away from me, I liked to have some semblance of control in my life.
“Then that’s okay too, I guess.”
Hadie sighed again, and slipped her hand into mine. “Can we talk about something else, please? I’m already sick of talking about this with the therapist every week. Ray said something about you and a Madden who’s so sexy she wants to lick his skin off.”
I tried not to gag at the mental image of Mariah licking Vincent. “I’ve already come to the conclusion that Ray has brain damage, so I guess it’s normal for her to think a member of the Madden gang is sexy.”
“So Dylan’s brother is in the Madden gang?”
“Not exactly. Dylan’s brothers are the Madden gang.” I said in a casual tone. “The three oldest brothers are actual Maddens who run the gang.”
“Wow,” Hadie breathed, “I missed a lot. What are they like? Terrifying?”
“Um, I wouldn’t say that.” I paused. “They’re interesting. I guess I didn’t expect them to actually be so human. I expected them to have no feelings and just go around beating up everyone, but they’re not like that at all.”
“And, what about this Vincent guy Ray keeps going on about? He’s the one who hired you, right? What’s he like?”