Blow Job Island
Insula Fellatoria
Nationwide Red Alert Hot Bod Strip Search
Inquisitio Summa Cum Vigilantia Per Omnes Nationis Partes Diffusa Corporum Formosiorum Nudatorum
Meet the Organ Donors
Salvete, O Daturi Membra Post Mortem
Baby-sitters from Hell Bring Home Animals that Kill for Fun
Nutriculae Infernales in Domos Adducunt Feras Quae ad Delicias Interficiunt
Big Fat Slobs Eat Shit for Cash
Helluones Squalidi Merdam Pro Nummis Comedunt
Who Wants to Marry a Rich Old Fart with a Terminal Disease?
Quis Vult Nubere Peditori Capulari Diviti?
Hardball Talk Shows-DISCEPTATIONES TUMULTUOSAE
That’s a load of bull, and you know it!
Merae fabulae sunt, et eas esse tales scis!
You wouldn’t know a fact if one hit you on the head!
Rem veram non cognoscas etiamsi frontem tibi feriat!
You’re a liberal stooge!
Pedisequus parasiticus es popularium!
You’re a right-wing moron!
Stipator stultus es optimatum!
See you next week!
Vos revisemus post septimanam!
Ultimate Sports-LUDI EXTRAORDINARII
Bass-fishing- Piscatus Percarum
Let me guess-you have to drink the beer to make room in the ice chest for all the fish you catch
Ut coniecturam faciam-necesse est tibi bibere cerevisiam ut locum in cista glaciei des piscibus captis
It’s a keeper!
Licet mihi hunc retinere!
Stock car racing- Certamen Curruum Generalium
When are they going to start running into each other and blowing up?
Quando inter se collidentes incipient in flammas dirumpi?
Pit stop!
Statio restaurativa!
Wrestling- Luctatus
Something tells me that the mean-looking bearded guy dressed up like the Ayatollah is no match for the wily Captain America
Suspicor illum truculentum barbatum ritu archierei Persici vestitum non esse comparem Centurioni Americano vafro
Smashmouth! Smackdown!
Ictus in os! Prostratio!
Bungee jumping- Saltus de Ponte
How dumb would you have to be to jump off a bridge with a rope tied to your foot?
Quam vecors sit is qui de ponte saliat pedibus funiculo ligatis?
Geronimo!
Geronimo, geronimare!
Snowboarding- Super Nivem Labi
Hey dude, let’s head to the halfpipe, catch some major air, and stick some tricks!
Heus, laute, contendamus ad canalem nivalem ut aerem oppido capientes nonnullas technas exsequamur!
Super rad! I’m stoked!
Maxime radicitus! Flagro!
The Olympics- Olympia
I’ll vote for the Greek in the wrestling if you vote for the Roman in the chariot race
Graeco palmam dabo in certamine luctandi si Romano palmam dabis in certamine quadrigarum
Deal!
Fiat haec pactio!
Trash Talk in the Colosseum-CONTUMELIA IN AMPHITHEATRO FLAVIO
You want a part of me? Bring it on!
Visne partem mei capere? Comminus agamus!
Are you dissing me?
Insultasne tu miki?
You’re yesterday’s news
In actis diurnis iamdudum es celebratus
You’re toast
Mox corvos pasces
You don’t know your ass from a catacomb
Non possis distinguere tuum podicem a Puticulis
Your mother is so fat, when she’s in town, Rome has eight hills
Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est, urbs habet octo colles
* Your mother is so fat, when she’s in town Rome has eight hills
** Kiss my basilisk!
Your mother is so ugly, when the gods turned her into a pig, she thought her prayers had been answered
Mater tua tam turpis est ut cum di eam mutaverint in porcam, suas preces putaverit eos audivisse
Your mother is so stupid, when she found a coin with Caesar’s name on it, she tired to return it to him
Mater tua tam stulta est ut cum invenerit nummum ferentem nomen Caesaris, huic eum restituere conata sit
Go ahead, punk-make my day
Age, catamite-fac mihi hunc diem felicissimum
Spring Break-FERIAE VERNALES
Road trip!
Iter faciamus!
Let’s party hearty!
Pergraecemur!
Wet T-shirt contest!
Certamen inter mammosas tunicis madefactis vestitas!
Go ahead, card me. See, I’ve got a Latin ID. I’m 2,000 years old.
Age, scrutare chartam identitatis meam. Ecce, est mihi syngraphus Latinus. Duo milia annorum sum natus.
I’m wasted!
Crapulentus sum!
I’m going to hurl!
Vomiturus sum!
Country Music Favorites-MUSICA RUSTICA FAVORABILISSIMA
Si Telephonium Non Tintinnat, Ego Voco
If Your Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me
Causam Tibi Dabo Bibendi
I’ll Give You Something to Drink About
Quomodo Una Nocte Facta Tam Turpis Es?
How Did You Get So Ugly Overnight?
Si Dies Hodiernus Esset Piscis, Reicerem
If Today Was a Fish I’d Throw it Back
Mater Cape Malleum, Musca Sedet in Capite Patris
Mother Get the Hammer, There’s a Fly on Papa’s Head
Si Me Deseras, Liceatne Mihi Te Comitari?
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Quomodo Te Desiderare Potero Si Non Discesseris?
How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
Per Anulum Illa Trusit Digitum Medicinalem, Ac Ostendit Mihi Digitum Medium
She Got the Ring, and I Got the Finger
Tu Causa Es Cur Liberi Nostri Tam Turpiculi Sint
You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
Sine Te Tam Miser Sum Ut Videaris Etiamnunc Adesse
I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like Having You Here
Caput Dolet, Pedes Fetent, Iesum Non Amo
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don’t Love Jesus
Chilling Out-SERMO OTIOSORUM
Wassup?
Quagis?
Nothin’, watching the game
Nihil ago, ludos specto
True, true
Vero, vero
It’s off the hook
Ab unco remotumst
Talk to the hand, the face don’t understand
Adloquere manum, facies nescit quid velis
Black togas are cool
Togae atrae lepidae sunt
Want to see my sword collection?
Vin’ aspicere collectum gladiorum meum?
I’m thinking of taking a catapult into the school cafeteria…
Cogito ferre catapultam in cenationem scholae…
Graffiti-INSCRIPTIONES LATRINALES
Make love, not war-hell, get married, do both
Suscipite amorem, non bellum-eheu, iuncti matrimonio, suscipite utrumque
Procrastinate now
Procrastina rem nunc
Flush twice, it’s a long way to Texas
Evacua cratera latrinalem bis, Texas procul est
If it has tits, tires, or testicles, it’s nothing but trouble
Mammeatae, rotalia, testiculati, omni modo molesta sunt
Gods are dead
Di mortui sunt
Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder
Cervesia pota, pulchritudo cernitur
Yankee, go home-and take me with you
Americani, redite domum-ducentes me vobiscum
If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Si quidem animalia nobis edenda non sunt, quare constant ex carne?
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t
Sunt genera tria hominum: illi qui numerare possunt, et illi qui non possunt
It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you
Res tam malae sunt quam putas, et inimici re vera te persequuntur
Why don’t psychics ever win the lottery?
In sortitionibus donativis, cur numquam praemia consequuntur sortilegi?
Aunt Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog-Dorothy
Amita Aemilia: Te Kansiamque odi, Canem mecum abduco-Dorothea
If walking is so good for you, why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?