Doctor Dan put his fork down and touched her hand. “You should have come and talked to me about that, Dev. I could have explained it better for you.”
The pale green eyes took on the faintest hint of a twinkle. “It was hard, sometimes.” She admitted. “But… being the only one in my set made me think maybe I would get to do something special.” She said. “And I guess I will.”
Doctor Dan rested his chin on his fist, his face creasing into a grin.
‘So even if it turns out to be scary, and maybe really hard and not a lot of fun.” Dev continued. “I’ll still have gotten to do it. “
Part of that, Doctor Dan knew, he’d programmed into her. He’d selected the genes carefully, moving towards a half imagined , not quite all the way designed different step – maybe forwards, maybe sideways.
A developmental unit. That’s what the Dev stood for. He’d rolled the genetic dice and only now was he getting to see what numbers those dice were returning to him, almost impossible to know before the set reached maturity and a full realization of all the synaptic growth.
Dev now put her fork down and looked earnestly at him. “Doctor Dan, can I ask you for something?”
“Absolutely.” He responded, still a bit bemused.
Dev’s eyes went to her plate, then lifted up to him. “If it’s too hard.” She paused. “And it doesn’t work out, could you make it so I don’t have to forget all this?”
Pinned by that soulful look, Doctor Dan bit the inside of his lip and had to pause to let the tension in his throat relax before he answered. “I promise you, Dev. I’ll only let that happen if you ask me to do it.”
Dev smiled in relief and returned her attention to her plate. “Thank you.” She said. “And thank you for letting me come here. This is really good.” She indicated the plates rapidly depleting content. “Or maybe I was just really hungry.”
Doctor Dan patted her shoulder. “It is good.” He said. “And it was my pleasure, Dev. I’m glad we got a chance to talk.” He put his mind to his plate as well, his thoughts already racing far ahead. “I really am.”
**
Dev was aware of how quiet it was in the crèche when she returned. A proctor caught sight of her and approached, with a pad strapped to their arm. “Hello, proctor.” She greeted the woman.
“NM-Dev-1?”
“Yes.”
“You are late back.”
Dev regarded the proctor thoughtfully. “Doctor Dan required my presence.” She said. “He just sent me back here.”
“Doctor Kurok?” The proctor said. “He didn’t log his request.”
Dev didn’t respond to that, having no control over what Doctor Dan did and knowing the proctor knew that.
The proctor tapped on the pad. “We have been told you are being transferred out tomorrow on the first transport, hour ten.”
“Yes.” Dev agreed. “They told me.”
“You may take one size small pack bag with you.” The proctor said. “Everything else you need will be provided by your assigned contractor. You have no schedule tomorrow, after breakfast report to the transfer station no later than hour nine. Understood?”
“Yes.” Dev hoped the proctor was done. She was tired, and after the evening of being treated to the attention of Doctor Dan, the impersonal and rote instruction felt a little grating.
Just a little.
The proctor nodded. “Very well. The pods are already programmed for this sequence. Since you’re late, you will need to overnight in transit quarters.” She consulted the pad. “B32, section 2 in the outer ring has been cleared for you.”
“Thank you.” Dev said. “Good night.”
The proctor glanced up at her in some surprise. The she pointed to the outer ring and left, taking her pad with her.
Dev exhaled. Then she headed towards the corridor, glancing back to see the night pods making their slow, gentle transit and realizing she wouldn’t be feeling that comforting motion again, at least for a while.
Change was happening. The unknown was pouring down on her far faster than she’d expected. By tomorrow, she realized, she’d be in her assignment and tonight she stood on the cusp of having her life move to a completely different mold.
Good? Bad?
Or just different?
**
It was Stephen who came to escort her.
Jess was sitting in the chair near the door to her quarters, her neatly packed duffel at her feet. The room was bare and clean, the workspace cleared, everything tucked into place ready for whoever was going to live in it next.
She’d come with terms with two things. First – regret for making a snap decision and acting on it before thinking it all the way through. Second, that she was sticking to the decision anyway, even though she knew it was mostly due to ego alone and not the best choice for her at this stage in her life.
She was stubborn and proud, and she knew it. She knew everyone else knew that also, and given the choice of breaking down and asking for a reneg, or sticking to her pride and doing something stupid, she’d pick doing something stupid every time.
Family trait. Jess was studying the scars on the back of her right hand when the door unlocked and slid open, and Stephen walked inside and faced her. “Ready?”
“Yep.” Jess stood up and shouldered the duffel. The sudden reality of the moment made her breath catch, but she waited for Stephan to turn and lead the way out, gazing quietly at the floor.
“Jess.”
She looked up at him, a little surprised at the expression on his face and the distinct shadows under his eyes. “Yeah?”
Stephan took a breath, and then released it. “Everyone wanted to come with me. Wanted to… come see you the past couple days. Bricker blocked it off. Didn’t want them getting any ideas, he said.”
“Fuck him.” Jess said, in a mild tone. “I hope he walks off the edge of that cliff out there and ends up fish food.”
Stephan nodded. “I just didn’t want you to think no one gave a damn.” He said. ‘They did. I do.”
Jess wasn’t sure if it made it worse or better to hear that. “Let’s go.” She said. “I”d like to have time to find a place to crash before dark.” She appreciated what he had said, but in her heart, she knew if anyone had truly wanted to come and say good bye…
They would have. No one wanted to rock the boat though. Jess had no illusions about the relationship with the rest of the ops battalion she was leaving. They were colleagues, they occasionally crossed paths during emplacements, they’d step in front of a laser cannon for each other in the field but there was no one here, save perhaps Stephen, she could have characterized as a true friend.
She’d thought Joshua was a friend. He sure acted like one. She followed Stephan’s silent form down the empty hall, memories chasing her footsteps. She remembered the easy companionship, the casual dinners, and games of cards in their quarters in the infrequent intervals they’d been in them.
She still wanted to throw up every time she thought about him. With a sigh, she shifted the strap of her duffel on her shoulder as they crossed the central corridor and turned into the series of blast shields that led to the transport entrance.
Doors slid shut after them as they went, each one putting her more on the outside until they got to the last one, and she could smell a transport off gassing nearby. Just before the door was a lock clearance, and first Stephan, and then Jess stepped into it, enduring the electric blue tickle of the genetiscan that was the final determination of identity.
Jess heard the soft chimes and burbles. “Ident complete. “ The calm voice of the system announced. “Final exit confirmed. Do not attempt reentry.”
Stephen keyed open the external entrance, and the smell of the transport got a lot stronger. He led the way outside onto the landing pad and waited for Jess to join him.
The door slid shut behind her, and Jess felt a sudden sense of deep loss that made her jaw clench. Even the sight of the transport, usually an interest of hers, didn’t dull it. She moved to one side and sat down on the bench to wait, as the big jet’s hatch was still sealed shut and the techs were still bringing out umbilicals and cooling to it.