Behaviour
Italians are past masters at arrangiarsi (getting by), and at home and in communities abroad have always been famous for their ability to make the best of their situation. This is due to the fact that, more often than not, they have had to.
“Italians are past masters at arrangiarsi (getting by).”
For example, when the traffic is held up by two drivers having a long conversation because they haven’t seen each other since the day before, those in the traffic queue will make the most of the moment by fiercely sounding their horns and hurling insults, or reading their newspapers, or making phone calls while using the rear-view mirror to preen.
At one time, when, through a mixture of governmental incompetence and bureaucratic venality, Italy suffered a shortage of small change, the Italians just shrugged their shoulders and used boiled sweets instead.
The Italians are generous people, but their generosity should be accepted with caution, for no present in Italy comes without strings attached. Italian life and power are based on a system of gifts and favours. The moment someone accepts a gift, he owes the giver a favour and has concluded an agreement that lasts a lifetime. So when one Italian gives another a lift to the station or the telephone number of a good eye specialist, sooner or later he will expect something back.
“Driving is the area of his life where the Italian male feels he can properly express himself.”
Driving is the area of his life where the Italian male feels he can properly express himself. Ask what he means by a good driver or a beautiful road and he will wax poetic. He will tell you that a good driver is one who drives at speed from A to B, ensuring the maximum pleasure and comfort of his passengers, not braking too often, not driving over bumps or holes but slaloming round them, driving, in short, like a Ferrari Formula One team member. A beautiful road is a wide, well-cambered road, which can be driven at high speed without any unsettling bumps for his passengers, in short, a race track; the narrow, scenic road winding through the mountains will not be considered a beautiful road.
Owners of new Alfa Romeos are recommended by the company’s manual to drive in a certain way to get the best performance and life expectancy from their vehicle: they should not drive too close to the car in front, they should not accelerate or brake suddenly between traffic lights; they should not corner at high speed, and so on… In other words they should not drive as Italians.
“Vehicles with out-of-town plates are regarded as fair game by both local drivers and traffic police.”
Country bumpkins who drive in Italian cities need to remember two basic rules: vehicles with out-of-town plates are regarded as fair game by both local drivers and traffic police; and traffic police enforce the traffic laws as and when they wish. It is said that in Naples there are only two kinds of traffic lights: those that are there for decoration and those that are merely a suggestion.
Driving in the countryside can be entertaining, too, particularly when you don’t know where you’re going. Italian sign painters specialise in artistic roadsigns designed not to help motorists, but to be appreciated as masterpieces of art by those who live nearby. Fortunately it is not easy to get lost in Italy, as long as you already know the way and remember that, despite the efforts of the autostrada administration to convince drivers that they do, not all roads lead to Rome.
Manners
Italians are courteous people, and well-mannered. Greetings are important and, since the Italians are very physical, hand-shaking and kissing are the norm. They convey genuine warmth and pleasure at seeing people again, even if they have seen them the day before or even that morning. Kissing is on both cheeks and there are no taboos about men greeting each other this way. Hand-shaking has the added advantage of revealing that neither party is holding a weapon.
“They convey genuine warmth and pleasure at seeing people again even if they have seen them the day before or that morning.”
The Italians are enthusiastic and call one another cara and bella (darling and beautiful) at the drop of a hat. Yet before crossing someone’s threshold they will ask “Permesso?” (May I have permission?). Ciao is an informal greeting used both on meeting and on departure. Buongiorno (Good day) is used for most of the day until a certain point in the late afternoon, when people will greet each other with Buonasera (Good evening), as if the afternoon did not exist. They are much more rigid about the difference between evening and night, and “What did you do last night?” will be regarded as a nosy or even impertinent question, but “What did you do yesterday evening?” won’t raise any eyebrows at all.
It Italy there are three possible forms of addressing others: the tu, voi and lei forms. The tu form is used in the family, by young people with one another, by adults who know each other well, and by colleagues. Formal conversation traditionally requires the use of surnames, and informal the use of first names, but in recent years a mixing of forms has come into use. So the travel agent or mechanic might refer to her or himself as Maria Cristina or Sergio, but still call their customers Dottor Rossi or Signora Ferrari, and the lei form would be used in conversation.
“Honorary titles are also used for famous people, so Giovanni Agnelli used to be referred to as l’avvocato (the Lawyer) and Silvio Berlusconi is il cavaliere (the Knight).”
Strangers are addressed as signor and signora. Signora is generally used even if the woman is technically signorina (an unmarried one). Professional titles are much more widely used than in Britain and America. Dottore is not used just for medical doctors, but for any form of graduate; professore is the term for all teachers, not just at university; not only composers, but craftsmen and even judo teachers, are called maestro; ingegnere is very highly prized, reflecting the high status that engineering graduates enjoy. Professional or honorary titles are also often used for famous people, so Giovanni Agnelli used to be referred to as l’avvocato (the Lawyer) and Silvio Berlusconi is il cavaliere (the Knight). Nobody minds if
the professional titles are not used in exactly the right way, as long as they flatter the recipient.
Grazie and prego are the mainstay of Italian manners, but it is not considered rude to ask for a coffee in a bar by saying in a loud voice, “A coffee”; one is buying a service and being over-polite could be considered as false politeness and therefore rude.
“If they are not sorry, they feel they don’t need to say anything, and if they are sorry, they can say it in the confessional.”
Italians are incapable of saying sorry in the usual sense; if they are not sorry, they feel they don’t need to say anything, and if they are sorry, they can say it in the confessional.