I strode up the incline and down the street. This time when I walked away, I didn’t look back.
XX
At about ten p.m. my PAV beeped. I didn’t bother to look at the receiver to see who it was before clicking it on.
“Shame about your mother.”
Ed. My heart nearly stopped.
“Not even a hello?”
“What do you want?” I said.
“I want to see my daughter.” He laughed.
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
“Is there a problem? I would have called your grandparents, but they aren’t her grandparents, so it seems ridiculous for me to ask their permission to see my daughter.”
Ginnie’s words clanged in my ears like a fire alarm: keep Ed away from Dee. Legally, he had a right to see her. My mind raced for an excuse, any excuse. Anything to buy some time. “She’s still having a hard time with Ginnie’s death,” I said. “Maybe it’s not a good time to see her. It’s a reminder—”
“I’m her father,” he said. “She needs a parent.”
“She’s got me. I know her better than anyone. Ginnie told me to take care of her and that’s what I’m doing.”
“You aren’t even sixteen.” He snorted. “And when you do turn sixteen, the last thing you’ll want is the responsibility of a kid. First time a guy looks at you, you’ll be out there fu—”
“I will not!” I would never be a crazed sex-teen. Guilt about the feelings and thoughts I’d had about Sal rushed through me. “I’m Dee’s sister, I will always take care of her.” A thought occurred to me: What if Ed was right downstairs? Or worse—right outside our door. Goose bumps broke out on my arms. “Ginnie named Gran and Pops Dee’s legal guardians. Even if they aren’t her real grandparents, you’ll have to ask them when you can see her.”
“When I want to see her,” Ed said, “I won’t ask. And no one will stop me. Understand?” He clicked off.
For a full five minutes I was frozen to the spot with fear and rage. Then I started pacing my room, like a feral cat in a cage. It seemed like forever before I could form a coherent thought. Exhausted, I finally collapsed on my bed. Staring out the window, I watched the lights of the building across the way. They went out, one by one.
I tried to calm my racing mind. I knew Sal was right about most of what he’d said; it was the exact same thing Ginnie had said. But that didn’t make me any less angry at him for deceiving me. Or at myself, for letting him get to me, for slipping so easily into sex-teen, for wanting him to kiss me so badly. I remembered our kiss in the park, and sank even lower. This wasn’t working. I had to stop thinking about Sal.
I thought about my father.
Ginnie had to be right; he had to be alive. He just had to. And now I needed to find him more than ever. Gran and Pops were no match for Ed, whether the law was on their side or not. And I had a feeling Ed would figure out some way to make it “not.” He had connections, at least that’s what he’d always said. Even if my father had disappeared because he didn’t want me, I was sure that he loved Gran and Pops. He couldn’t let someone like Ed take away a granddaughter they loved. But how could I find him? I was chasing a ghost.
Wei. Her parents knew him, knew Ginnie. Maybe they could help. That was my only hope.
I lay down, but my thoughts still raced. By the time I’d fallen asleep, some of the lights across the way had come back on.
Next morning, halfway on the way to Dee’s school, we ran into Wei.
“Hey, where you guys headed?” she asked.
“We’re going by Dickens to drop off Dee,” I said.
“Cool.” She looked at Dee. “Can I walk with you?”
Dee, wide-eyed, nodded. I could see she was impressed that a high school girl, and a top-tier one at that, would hang out with her. They walked ahead of us. Every so often Wei would lean down and whisper in Dee’s ear. I could hear Dee laugh; at least that felt good.
Mike, Derek, and I trailed behind. They talked about Derek’s music show at a new coffeehouse next weekend where he was playing with his brother, Riley. I was silent. When we got within half a block of Dee’s school, Maddie and a couple of Dee’s other friends joined us. We watched them meld into the crush of kids waiting for the first bell.
“She’s cute,” Wei said. “I wish I had a little sister. Can we share her?”
“Sure.” Wei and I had only known each other a few days—I wondered about her sudden interest in Dee. Then I realized Sal must have said something to her about Ed. It steamed me that Sal was broadcasting my problems around, but I liked Wei too much to be angry with her.
“How about after school we all go to TJ’s? Does Dee like tofu fries?”
“They’re her favorite.”
“Mine, too.” She stopped in front of a three-story brownstone, the really cool kind with the curved windows and gargoyles on the gutter spouts. “This is where I live. It’s almost three hundred years old.”
“Wow!” Derek said. “I love old things, like houses and music.”
“Me, too.” Wei gave him a sweet smile.
It’s funny, there was such a difference between her smile and the one Sandy’d aimed toward Sal at the zoo. Sandy’s had been so… fake and sixteen. Wei’s was so… I wasn’t sure what, but definitely different from Sandy’s. They were both pretty, but Wei was ultra. Guys definitely noticed her, but not in a leering way, the way they noticed Sandy. Even though Wei was sixteen, she didn’t act like it. At least not like the sixteens in my old school, the ones Sandy was desperate to be like. And definitely not like XVI Ways said sixteens acted. Was it because she was upper tier, or was it just her attitude?
A wave of longing for Ginnie washed over me. I shook it off. Sometimes I couldn’t help being mad at her for dying.
“There’s my dad.” Wei pointed up to the second floor on the right and waved. The silhouette of a man waved back. “I’ll share him with you, Nina—like you’re sharing Dee with me—okay?”
“Sure.” I squinted up at the dark figure in the window. I had to fight back the urge to suggest going inside right then so I could meet him. I didn’t want to push it, afraid of blowing my chance at getting more information about my parents, maybe even a lead on my father’s whereabouts.
“What’s he doing home now?” asked Derek.
“He’s a writer.”
“That’s cool,” Derek said. “Wish my dad did something neat. He’s just a tech at Onadrell.
“Wish my dad did something, period.” Mike kicked a rock, sending it halfway down the block.
“My brother, Chris, is a tech,” Wei said. “You’ve got to be really smart to be one.” She looked right at Derek when she said that, and his neck turned crimson. I thought it was cute, and I hoped it meant that he found her interesting. Even though he hadn’t said anything else to me about his feelings, I didn’t think I’d dodged that laser yet. It’d make everything easier if he and Wei… well, it would keep my friendship with him on the right track.
Wei leaned in to me and whispered, “If you ever need help, someone’s home almost all the time.”
Her words should have made me feel better. Instead, they scared me half to death. I didn’t want to admit, even to myself, that things were getting beyond my control. But Wei had noticed. And if a girl I’d just met a few days before was concerned enough to offer her house as a safe place, I couldn’t deny it any longer.
Nothing happened at school except school. I didn’t see Sal, which was good, because I was still angry—at both of us.
On the way to pick up Dee I told Wei about Ed calling me. “I didn’t have time to tell Gran and Pops, and I don’t want to worry them. They don’t need any trouble because of me or Dee.”