I strode into the building without a backward glance.
XXV
Dee pulled me into the living room; she was white as Gran’s hair. “Someone broke into our apartment. Gran had to give Pops one of his tranqs he was so upset.”
“Broke in?” I glanced around the room. There were books and chips strewn across the floor. “Skivs!” I ran down the hallway. My clothes and my art supplies were everywhere. My makeshift dresser was empty. I rifled through the piles on the floor. The book was gone. I raced back down the hall and into the kitchen. “Dee’s baby book! Where is it?” I grabbed Gran by the shoulders. “Someone took it! You don’t know how important it is!”
Gran extricated herself from my grip. “Calm down, Nina. What about Dee’s baby book?”
“It’s got… I promised Ginnie… There’s important…” I hadn’t planned on telling Gran anything about the baby book until I’d found out for sure that my father was alive.
Dee had left the room and Gran was staring at me. “You are not making any sense, child. What is all this fuss about Dee’s baby book?”
I clasped and unclasped my hands, trying to compose myself. “The last thing Ginnie asked me was to take care of it. She said it was important. Maybe it isn’t, but because it meant so much to her, I have to keep it safe.” I threw up my hands. Gran didn’t have to believe me, but it was the best I could come up with.
“I don’t know why anyone would take that.” She rubbed her chin, studying my face. “The police think it was someone looking for meds. There weren’t any here, that’s why your grandfather and I were out. His scrips needed filling.”
My mind was racing. I could see that Gran didn’t believe what I’d said about the book, but she didn’t seem to want to pressure me either. “You called the police?” I asked.
“Of course I did. They’ve been here and gone,” she said. “Since nothing was missing, that I was aware of”—her eyes narrowed at me—“they left. We’re supposed to call if we discover anything is gone. Are you sure you didn’t just misplace Dee’s baby book?”
“No, I’m not sure.” Actually, I was sure. I knew I hadn’t misplaced it. And I was sure Ed had broken in and stolen the book. How I was going to get it back, I didn’t have any idea.
“You’d better check your room,” she said. “When we got home everything was a mess. If you had anything important, besides that book—”
Dee came into the kitchen. “I looked through everything, Gran. I’ve still got all my stuff. But it feels creepy in my room now. Nina, will you come with me and help me straighten up? Please? I don’t want to be in there alone.”
Gran motioned us out of the kitchen. “I’ll make sandwiches. I don’t think any of us feels much like eating a big dinner.”
I knew I didn’t. I felt sick that Ed had gone through our things. I wanted to wrap myself up in a big blanket, cover myself from head to toe, anything to stop the naked feeling I had.
“Come on, Nina.” Dee took me into her room. “See what a mess?” Her clothes were strewn everywhere. Like me, clothes were about all she had.
I took a deep breath, picked up a shirt, and started folding.
“I’m glad they didn’t mess this up.” Dee held out her baby book.
“What are you doing with that?” I snatched it out of her hands.
“What’s the big deal? It’s mine, isn’t it? I saw it when I was looking for my brown shirt you borrowed. I took it to school for Genealogy Day.”
Panic surged through me. I took a deep breath. “Dee, I promised Ginnie I’d keep this safe. Do you mind if I take it?” I put on my best sad face, which wasn’t hard. “It makes me feel close to Mom.” Skivs. That was low, but I couldn’t let Dee traipse all over the city with the book.
Her face softened. “Okay. I don’t need it anyway. But remember that it’s mine.”
“Of course.”
I finished helping Dee get her room in order, then I went to mine. One of my rapidos was broken, but the rest I put back in their case. I found Ginnie’s picture facedown by the wall; the frame was chipped, but the glass wasn’t broken. I righted my makeshift dresser and put her picture on the top. Then I laid the book on the bottom. Later, I’d cover it with my clothes again.
After we ate, I helped Gran get everything in the living room put back in place. Then I went straight to my room. I piled every piece of clothing in the center of the floor. Taking them, one by one, I started putting them in order.
Sal hates me, I thought.
I refolded a shirt.
It was sheer luck that he’d happened on Dee and me at just the right time. I don’t know what would’ve happened if he hadn’t.
I put the shirt in the box.
It’s okay that he hates me. He’s an overbearing know-it-all who only wanted to find out things about my father. He never cared about me.
I grabbed a pair of jeans and folded them.
That kiss meant nothing, nothing at all. I’m fine.
I stuffed the jeans next to the shirt.
I don’t need some arrogant, underhanded boyfriend.
I remembered Sal saying, A boyfriend, huh? I closed my eyes. I could feel his closeness, smell his scent, see his eyes…
I piled two more shirts and another pair of jeans on top of the others.
I called Sandy. She was at a party—I could hear music and people in the background—we didn’t talk long. Besides, I wasn’t going to tell her about Sal anyway.
“I’ll call you when I’m on the express tomorrow,” she yelled through her PAV.
I couldn’t wait to see her. I liked Wei a lot, but I longed for the comfort of my best girlfriend, which I hoped she still was. Even if we never ever talked about Sal, just being around her would make me feel so much closer to normal. Closer to the way I’d been before my life had been turned upside down.
Maybe, I thought, she wouldn’t get chosen for FeLS. If I got into the Art Institute, I might be able to get a tiny apartment. Sandy could come stay with me whenever she wanted. The daydream was nice, but reality took over.
I could not forget that someone, most likely Ed, had broken in looking for something. But on further reflection, he couldn’t possibly know about the book. The only people in the Infinity machine room when Ginnie’d told me were me and her.
I pushed the rest of my clothes on the floor and plopped into the middle of the borrowed inflato-mat. All kinds of awful thoughts started crowding into my brain, making me crazy. I got up and went into the living room. Pops was asleep in his chair and Gran was reading.
“I’m going out,” I said.
“Where?” Gran asked. “It’s late.”
“Just outside. I need some air.” I could tell she was concerned. “Look, I’ll be fine. I’ll be just outside the lobby. What can happen there? I won’t be long, I promise.” Before she could protest, I had my coat on and was out the door.
I didn’t stay right outside the building. I went down to the river, ending up at the oasis where Sal and I had argued. Plopping down on the bench, I stared out at the black waves slapping up against the pilings. I knew this wasn’t smart, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to think for a little bit. Everything felt off to me. I realized suddenly that I hadn’t sketched or drawn anything since Ginnie died. Ginnie. The river looked ominous and cold. I wondered how my father could possibly have survived falling into it. And if he had, like Ginnie’d said—
The sounds of people coming my way snapped me back to the present. I shrank into the corner of the bench, out of the direct glow of a nearby streetlamp. The circle of light fell on two homeless women walking down the path. I couldn’t make out what the older of the two was saying, but there was something about the younger one that seemed familiar. They stopped for a moment and the covering over the younger one’s head slipped down. I gasped. “Joan?”