“Why isn’t it my choice?”
Dee wasn’t going to give up this conversation. So I explained. “If you’re sixteen, the baby’s father has a say, if he wants to. And that’s just part of being sixteen, Dee; it’s not all about sex.”
“How come it’s called ‘sex-teen,’ then? All the verts tell you how popular you’ll be if you dress and act so boys want to have sex with you. What else is there about it?”
“It’s about control, Dee.” The memory of that afternoon at Rita’s crossed my mind—I didn’t have any control then. In that moment, Sal’s kisses and my response to them were all that had mattered to me. Even now, my body involuntarily tingled at the thought of his hands on my skin. Had we not stopped, I was sure that I would have gone further, maybe even had sex with him. I ignored the memory as best I could and continued: “The tattoo—it’s a way for anyone to tell that you’re sixteen. You’re considered an adult then…”
Obviously bored with my explanation, Dee fiddled with her PAV and curled her feet up under her. “So are you going to have sex with Sal when you turn sixteen?”
“Of course not.” I folded my arms across my chest and stared up the aisle, thinking about that day at Rita’s again. I wondered if my body was listening to my words.
XXXVIII
“I’m not ready.” I stared out the window of Wei’s living room, where I’d ended up after dropping Dee back at home after school. Dee had been complaining about a sore throat, so I had a free afternoon.
“It’s not so bad. The thistle tattoo took a lot longer and hurt more.”
“It’s not the pain I’m worried about. It’s all the pressure that comes along with being sixteen, and with this whole FeLS thing… I don’t think I can do it. I thought it was bad enough before, just not being able to talk to your family for two years, but now? Wei, what if Ed does what he said? What if I get chosen and I don’t end up in the safe group?” I looked to her for reassurance.
“Remember, they won’t be choosing until after Holiday Day,” Wei said. “I know Dad will have figured out some way to get your contract by then.”
“I hope so.” I took hold of her arm and studied her thistle tattoo. “You know, I love this design. It’s more ultra than ultra.”
Wei laughed. “When I turned, I wanted it to be for me, not just a government brand. I was the first Creative to do anything like this. The school authorities called in government people to make sure it was all legal. It’s ridiculous how the GC tells us we have freedom of speech and expression when we really don’t.”
“What will you do when the XVI starts fading?” The tattoos started deteriorating after about three years and were supposed to be completely gone in five, although mostly they just turned a sickly shade of pale green.
“The guy who did this is going to tattoo another thistle over the XVI when I turn twenty-one.”
Wei pointed out a tiny scar behind her right ear. “I got my GPS taken out, too. It amazes me how many girls, and even some guys, keep theirs. Dad says the government gets Media to run stories that keep us scared about could happen and then tells us that by keeping the GPS implanted they can keep us safe. Mom calls it passive brainwashing. It’s a bunch of crap. What it really means is that the government can track you wherever and whenever they want.”
I touched mine, wondering if it was a little traitor. “That could be how Ed found me that day,” I said.
“I thought that, too, but Dad doesn’t think so. He doubts a Chooser would have access to the government’s tracking systems.”
I hoped she was right. He’d found me somehow. “Maybe he’s given up. It’s been almost two weeks.”
“Don’t let down your guard.” I could tell she wasn’t convinced. I wasn’t either.
“Can I see it again?” I asked.
Wei turned her wrist over and I admired the thistle tattoo. Deep pink flowers and gray-green leaves circled the obligatory XVI and fanned around to the other side of her arm. There they met and snaked up the back of her hand toward her fingers. A thistle in full bloom took up the majority of the skin. The leaves continued up her knuckles and spelled out free, one letter per finger.
“Was it really expensive?” As if I didn’t already know the answer.
“Not so much. There’s a guy who does these for…” She hesitated. “You know, this is a special symbol.”
“What do you mean?”
“In ancient times, in Scotland, there were secret knights that guarded the true king. They were called the Order of the Thistle. The thistle is a symbol of danger and protection.”
“The Order of the Thistle. Sounds serious. Are you—” My PAV alarm interrupted. “I’ve gotta go. Gran and Pops have an appointment at the doctor’s for Pops’s leg. I have to watch Dee.”
“I’ll walk you to the bus stop.”
“No, don’t. I haven’t seen any suspicious trannies lately. And it makes me feel like such a baby whenever anyone purposely walks me somewhere, especially in the middle of the day.”
“Are you sure? Dad thinks I should stick close to you.”
“I’m sure. It’s only two blocks.”
Wei let me go, but only after we made a quick contingency plan—I would dash into the little boutique by the trans stop and pretend to be sick if Ed should happen to appear on either of those two blocks; but it wasn’t necessary. When I got to the apartment, I flopped down on the floor with Dee and watched some anime with her. Shortly before Gran and Pops were due back, Sal came over.
“I wish we had a porch to sit on,” he whispered to me. “I’d like it to be just you and me for a while.” His breath tickled my neck and I felt it down to my toes.
“Me, too.”
We could’ve gone to my room, but Dee would be able to hear anything we said, or if we laughed. And then she’d come see what we were doing. Not that I planned on doing anything, but I didn’t want her to see me and Sal kissing. And I was sure kissing was going to happen no matter where we ended up.
I glanced at the time. Sal and I could go sit somewhere for a while and be together. Dee was wrapped up in her show and wasn’t going anywhere.
“DeeDee, Sal and I are going across to the river oasis. Gran and Pops will be home in a minute. Don’t answer the door or your PAV unless you know who it is. And if it’s Ed, don’t talk to him. Okay?”
“Yeah, sure.” She didn’t even look up from the AV.
“I mean it, Dee. Promise?”
“I promise! Be quiet, I can’t hear.” She waved her hand at us. “Go already.”
A minute later we were at the elport. Sal twined his fingers in mine. “You sure she’ll be okay?”
“Remember, Ed’s not after her,” I said. “It’s me he wants.”
“I suppose that’s true.” He tickled the inside of my palm with his finger. It gave me chills, the good kind.
“And Ed hasn’t called her since the wreck,” I said. “Besides, she knows not to open the door to anyone. She’s almost twelve. Ginnie left me alone sometimes when I was eleven.”
“But you were exceptional, right?” His eyes were twinkling.
“Right.” I smiled at him. But I wasn’t feeling as lighthearted as I wished. I had something on my mind, and I needed to get it out, before it started eating away at me. As soon as we reached the DZ oasis, I said, “My sixteenth is coming up real soon.”
“It’s a lot bigger deal for a girl than for a guy.”
“I know. I wanted to tell you… let you know… something…” I felt like a huge glob of nut butter was stuck to the roof of my mouth. I was terrified that whatever I said would come out wrong.
“What?” He bent over and kissed me, warming me to the tips of my toes. “What about sixteen?”