I pulled my arm away. “Cut it out.”
“First you stomp off and now you’re acting all weird. What’s gotten into you?” Sandy gave me a sideways look.
“Nothing,” I said. Everything, I thought.
“Here.” Derek handed me a little box. “Maybe this’ll help.”
He stood there watching while I lifted off the lid. Inside was a little silver horse charm nestled in a bed of fluff.
“Wow, Derek! It’s beautiful. Why’d you do this?” I looked up at him. “My birthday’s weeks away.”
He shrugged. “I was playing music in front of a store the other day. The guy said I was good for business and filled me—twenty whole credits. This was in the window. I knew you’d like it. No big deal.”
I should have given it back. I could tell it meant more to him than just a token of friendship, but it was so beautiful. I didn’t have many beautiful things.
“Thanks.” Sitting down on the curb, I took off my necklace and laced the horse between my other two charms. One was the number seven, which Gran had given to me on my seventh birthday. The other was from Pops, the letter T for “Truth.” He says that the truth can’t stay hidden. Derek’s true feelings sure weren’t. Not anymore.
Sandy sat down next to me and admired the little horse. “Cute! Good call, Derek.”
He stuck his hands in his pockets, grinned at me, and shuffled over to Mike, who was busy looking at travel posters and listening to their verts.
“Here.” I handed the necklace to Sandy. “Hook this for me, okay?” I turned my back to her and held up my hair so she could clasp it around my neck.
She fastened the necklace and I sat for a moment longer, people-watching. Two girls walked by, one had her view wrap on and was giving the other a blow-by-blow description of whatever it was she was watching. A kid on a zoom board careened around the corner, nearly hitting some guy. I thought for a second that the guy who dodged him was Sal. He wouldn’t have followed me, would he? I hadn’t told anyone what had happened—I didn’t want to hear it from the guys. But I also didn’t want to keep it to myself.
“The weirdest thing happened at the park.” I proceeded to tell Sandy what happened on the mound. I had hardly finished the story when she pounced on me.
“Are you crazy!?” she asked, her eyes big as Chrometers. “Helping homeless?”
“Sandy, I’m fine. And he said he wasn’t homeless.”
“You don’t know that for sure, do you? What is the matter with you, Nina? You want to get arrested?”
She was right. He could’ve been lying. It didn’t matter now; I’d already helped him. “They can’t arrest you for talking to someone.” Could they? I wondered. “Besides, he was hurt. You know how I am about people getting hurt.”
She knew. She’d been over after Ginnie and Ed’s fights.
“But you could have… those ’letes… they could’ve—”
“But they didn’t.” For once, Sandy was the protector and I was the reckless one. She was right, though. I could’ve ended up like Angel, maybe even worse. I shuddered, staring at the little veins trailing greenish blue right under the skin on my wrist. “If I was sixteen, they could’ve done whatever they wanted, and no one would have cared.”
“It’s not going to be like that, Nina.” Sandy hugged me. “You just need to not do stuff like helping homeless anymore. Sixteen will be fun, you’ll see.”
“I hate that we have to get tattooed.” I rubbed the imaginary Roman numerals off my skin.
“Nothing we can do about it. We’ll get ’em and then we can have sex—”
“I thought you wanted to go into FeLS. Besides, how can you worry about what some guys might’ve done to me, when it’s exactly the thing that you can’t seem to wait to have happen to you?” Sometimes I didn’t understand her at all.
“Of course I want FeLS. And I don’t want some guy, or three, forcing me to have sex. I just can’t wait to have all the guys wanting to have sex with me. Can’t you see it now? Just like in the verts. Me, surrounded by Orie and Brek and Jude, all looking at me like… oh, you know.” She tilted her head back, eyes shut and a big smile on her face. “What’s cool is that when you’re sixteen you can do it, if you want.”
“It won’t be Orie, Brek, or Jude if you’re off on some space station learning how to be a diplomatic specialist.”
“I mean after getting out of FeLS.” Sandy bolted upright. “You know what?”
“What?”
“Even though he’s a galactic-sized skiv, I bet your mom could get Ed to find out who the Chooser is and they could pick both of us! Then we could go to training together.”
“I’ve told you a gazillion times, there’s no way Ginnie would let me be a FeLS. Besides, I have to be around to take care of Dee.” I had never been completely honest with Sandy about FeLS, never told her that I really didn’t want to go. If FeLS relied on some guy like Ed, a former GC spy, to choose girls… well, anything that he’s involved in couldn’t be something I wanted to be in, no matter what.
“I could have my mom talk to her,” Sandy offered. “It would be so much fun! ’Cause you know I’m going to miss you when I go.” She squeezed me.
“You don’t even know if you’ll get chosen. Think of how many girls in our school are turning sixteen.”
“Yeah, but I bet less than half of them are virgins.” Sandy scrunched her eyebrows and nodded. “Yep, I’m sure to get chosen. I’m still a virgin and I look like a FeLS.” She pushed up on her breasts and then smoothed her hands down her torso. “Just like on the cover of XVI Ways, right?” She studied herself in the store window, turning and twisting around like a model.
“Right.” A part of me had dreamed about being chosen for FeLS once. The FeLS graduates who came to talk to us at school were all tier five or above. They got good jobs after their FeLS time. I’d figured when I was out of training and making lots of credits, I’d have enough so I could move Ginnie and Dee back to Chicago into a higher-tier place. Ginnie wouldn’t have to see Ed anymore and we’d be happy, like we’d been when I was little.
Sandy was right—there were strings that could be pulled. If she wanted to, Ginnie could get Ed to make sure I was chosen. But after I turned twelve and was eligible for the extra-credit FeLS prep classes, Ginnie told me outright that she’d never allow me to go. Even if I did get chosen, Ginnie said she’d buy out my contract, somehow. She enrolled me in a Creatives’ art class instead. I don’t know that I was ever that disappointed to not go the FeLS classes—I loved art, and sketching came naturally to me. I was just like Ginnie in that way.
I glanced over at Sandy, who was still prancing and preening. “That’s the other thing, Sandy—I’m not pretty enough to be chosen.”
She reached into her bag and pulled out a smaller bag filled to overflowing with makeup. “I can fix that!” She sprayed something on my hair. Teasing out some strands, she styled away, patting and combing. Then she said, “We could stuff your bra, no one would ever know.” She jammed her hand back in the bag and produced a handful of tissues. “Here.”
Fortunately, Mike and Derek interrupted us at that moment. I pressed the tissues back into Sandy’s hand and ran my hands through my hair so it was back to normal. Glancing in the window, I checked to make sure I looked like me again.
“Ready? To the zoo,” Mike announced, pointing northward.
We tromped down the street, and on the way, I glanced down every side street and alley, half expecting to see Sal. They were mostly empty except for a few homeless who melted into the alleyscapes like ghosts.
VII
Since Mike volunteered at the zoo, he had a digital code by his ID that allowed him access to restricted areas. He let us all in, then took Sandy to the cow barn to see the baby calves while Derek followed me to the horse barn. We both grabbed a handful of treats from a dispenser and got into the petting line.