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ST. JOSEPH’S HOSPITAL

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

He was there again, Jane realized with annoyance. Outlined in flames in the darkness. Sending out sparks that disturbed the serenity. She couldn’t get away from him.

“No, you can’t,” Caleb said. “I’m glad you realize that. But I’ve never really gone away. I’ve just let you rest and get used to my being here again.”

“I don’t want to get used to your being here. I told you that before. I want you to go away.”

“So you can go away? So you can go running back to Trevor? That’s not going to happen. He doesn’t want you, Jane.”

“You’re lying. He does want me.”

“Not now. I’m not worried about him. He’ll be on my side.”

“He loves me.”

“As much as he can love you. As much as you can love him. But there are all kinds of love, and you haven’t tasted more than a sip. Trevor would want you to drain the cup. You know that, Jane.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t want to know.”

“Too bad. Because I don’t really care what Trevor wants. It’s what I want that’s important.” His voice was velvet soft, insistent as a haunting melody. “And I want you to live, Jane. Not only will you live, but you’ll reach out and embrace life. I won’t have it any other way.”

“You don’t have anything to say about it. I’m dying.”

“But you’re better. I’ve been working, mending, helping you to mend yourself. I’m not there yet, but I’m closer. You’re having trouble not being aware of me all the time. I’m behind you, pushing. Soon I’ll be in front, leading.”

“No.”

“Yes.” He smiled. “Give it up. I won’t let you go. I’ll sit here and work on that mending. And now it’s time for you to think about something besides Trevor. So I’ll slip in a few memories to blur him…”

She tensed. “Of you?”

“No, we’ve not really had that kind of relationship yet. Close, but not quite there. I’m looking forward to it.” He chuckled. “No, I’ll make those memories pure as the driven snow. Not at all what you’d expect of me.”

“I don’t expect anything of you.”

“Then you should. You should expect everything from me. Because that’s what you’ll get.”

“Certainly not anything pure or without—”

“Shh, what’s more pure than the love of a puppy? Remember the day Eve gave you Toby? You were only a kid, weren’t you? Remember the excitement, the pure joy of living? And all the time he’s been with you, he’s given you that same joy. But we’ll start when he was a puppy and let you start reliving there. You were at the lake cottage, and it was only a little while after Eve and Joe took you into their home…”

*   *   *

“He’s mine, Eve? He’s really mine?” Jane hugged the half-golden retriever, half-wolf bundle of fur closer to her chest. “Sarah sent him to me to keep forever?”

“As close to forever as it gets.” Eve smiled. “She doesn’t want him back if that’s what you mean. She knew how much you loved her Monty and wanted you to have his and Maggie’s firstborn. What are you going to call him?”

“I’ll have to think. Maybe … Toby? He’s so beautiful.” Her eyes flew to meet Eve’s. “I don’t deserve him. I loved Sarah’s dog so much that I wanted him to love me instead of her. That was bad, wasn’t it, Eve? It was selfish. But I’d never had anything that was really mine to love. And now she’s given me this wonderful puppy of Monty’s to be my own. Should I call her and tell her how bad I was? Maybe she’d want him back.”

“I don’t think that’s likely,” Eve said gently. “Sarah knows what a good home you’ll give him. Because you’ve never had a home all these years, you know its value. And she’d understand that you’d need a dog of your own. Having something to love is very important.”

Jane nodded. “And when you do, you should hold on tight and never let go.” Her arms hugged the puppy closer. “That’s what I’m going to do. Never, never, let go…”

CHAPTER

9

RAIN FOREST

GUATEMALA

“Who are you?”

Catherine’s gaze went to where Montez was lying, across the fire from where she was sitting. “Awake at last? I didn’t think you’d be out that long.” She could see his muscles tense, and said quickly, “Don’t try anything. Your wrists and ankles are tied. We thought it was a wise precaution considering that you decided to sock me.”

“Who are you?” he repeated. “And who are ‘we’?”

“I’m Catherine Ling.” She reached in her jacket and pulled out her ID. “CIA. I know you’re on the run from Santos. I don’t have anything to do with him.”

“Yes, you do. I know better than that.”

“Do you?” Her eyes were narrowed on his face. “I’d like to know just how.” She jerked her head to the right. “And ‘we’ includes Richard Cameron, who is leaning against that pine over there. He’s responsible for finding some vines to tie you up so that you couldn’t sock me again. He covered some strands of wire he had with him to keep them from cutting you. Not an entirely MacGyver-like solution, but I took what I could get.”

“He’s CIA, too?”

“No, a sort of civilian.”

“Sort of?” Montez’s eyes were wide with suspicion as he gazed at Cameron. “I’ve been around too many ‘civilians’ bought off by Santos. How do I know that he’s—”

“You don’t.” Cameron strolled forward into the firelight. “You’ll have to trust Catherine to keep me in line. I’m totally terrified of her.”

“Shut up, Cameron,” Catherine said. “You’re not making it any easier for him.”

“I don’t intend to do that. I’m still a little pissed off that he clipped that lovely jaw of yours. You want to put him at ease? You do it.”

“I’m finding it difficult trusting either one of you with my hands and feet tied like this,” Montez said. “Was it you who were asking questions of Marco at the restaurant and sent Father Gabriel into a panic?”

Catherine shook her head. “No.”

He inhaled sharply. “Not CIA? I was hoping—” He stopped. “Then why did you come after me? How did you know I was on the run?”

“The world didn’t stop when you decided to hide away with Father Gabriel,” Catherine said. “Santos didn’t stop. He went after me, and when I became curious about your connection with him, it revived his interest in you.”

“It didn’t need reviving,” he said bitterly. “I knew it was only a matter of time. I just hoped that they’d keep Santos in that prison for the rest of his life. Not likely. Even when they first arrested him, he was making deals and hatching schemes.”

“Making deals?” Catherine repeated slowly. “What deals? I didn’t hear about any deals.”

“Forget it,” Montez said shortly. “Why should I talk to you? I’m better off on my own. Santos hates you. Dorgal told me how much Santos hated you.”

“Better off?” Catherine said. “I don’t think you’re doing so well, Montez.”

“Or maybe he is,” Cameron said. “It’s the people around him that are suffering.” His lips tightened. “The count is mounting. Tell him about the priest.”

“Priest?” Montez stiffened. “Father Gabriel?” He inhaled sharply. “Is he all right? He told me he was going to hide in the village.”

“He didn’t make it,” Catherine said gently. “He was dead when Cameron and I reached the church. Shot. We managed to take down the two men who did it, but it was too late for Father Gabriel.”

“God in Heaven.” Montez’s eyes closed. “My fault. I told him that it wasn’t safe for him to let me stay at the church. He wouldn’t let me leave. He said that life gives second chances, and no one should know that better than I.” He opened eyes glittering with moisture. “But he didn’t have a second chance, did he?”