She started to laugh…and then he did, too.
“I know,” he said wryly. “I can remember when I had the spare time for music, restaurants, a show, whatever. Now it’s analyzing what makes a four-year old fib and deciding whether he needs vaccination shots for preschool. What happened to my real life and will it ever show up again?”
Amanda felt a heart tug…she could have asked the exact same question, and she couldn’t believe there was someone else who understood exactly what she was going through. This kind of talk…it wasn’t like leaning. It wasn’t like counting on a white knight to rescue her. It was just…incredible…to find someone else who needed to reach out for the same reasons.
A friend.
A plain old real friend.
What a wild concept.
“What?” he said, as if trying to read her expression.
“Nothing. I just… It’s nice to laugh. Just laugh. Just be with someone else,” she said honestly.
“Yeah. No strings. No weirdness. No worrisome anything.”
“Exactly,” she said, and in that peaceful moment, her sanity took a complete nosedive. There was no explaining it. Mike lurched up from the deck steps to stand up, and start for home. She stood up at the same time, thinking it was time to turn in. Screen doors were open; it’s not as if they couldn’t hear their kids, but it had been a long day. She suspected he was as ready for an early night as she was, and started to say so.
Only, their shoulders accidentally grazed again, when they were both in motion. And because it was dark, she stumbled on the bottom step. He caught her, kept her from falling. They were still laughing…but then she lifted her laughing face up to his, intending to say something warm and friendly.
Suddenly there was a second of silence. As magical as the firefly night. As compelling as water and food and shelter. As restlessly disturbing as the air just before a thunderstorm.
And then the storm hit.
These weren’t like the kisses before. This was Gorilla Glue. Once he pulled her into his arms, she couldn’t pull free. Once her mouth found his, he either couldn’t or wouldn’t let go.
He spun her-possibly just an instinctive moment to protect them both from falling. Whatever the reason, he whirled her down the step, into the grass, into the dark shadows of the yard. A simple turn somehow escalated into a wild, crazy dance. A dance of kisses. A dance of stolen laughter. A dance of silliness at first, yet transformed by the rhythm of silk and shadows into something darker, richer. Sexier.
He murmured something, into her hair, onto her throat, a whisper that tickled her skin, tingled her senses. She lifted her arms to loop around his neck, wanting to look at him, to understand what was going on.
He looked back, but his eyes were too dark, too mesmerizing. His palms skidded down her sides, taking in ribs, waist, hips, shaping her, learning her. Then he bent down for another sweep of a kiss, this one involving teeth and tongues and pressure.
She curved closer, spine bowed, so her breasts and belly could rub against him. She hadn’t felt this ignition charge since…since he’d first kissed her. But that was controllable. This wasn’t. The divorce had brought on an epic stretch of sexual deprivation. But desire so fierce, so luscious, that she couldn’t catch her breath?
He made her feel it. The desire to risk all. The brand of need that tangled every nerve in the body. Abandonment. That’s what she wanted. Just once in her life. To abandon all reason, all good sense, and just give into the power of this man, this moment, this incredibly powerful wildness.
A dog suddenly barked. Not his hound. Not her Darling. A neighbor’s dog…reminding her-and apparently Mike-that they were in the middle of a neighborhood. His head shot up. She lifted hers at the same time.
This wasn’t a Shangri-la with fireflies.
It wasn’t a fantasy.
It was real life. With both their kids behind screened doors mere yards away.
“Good grief,” she murmured, aware that her shorts seemed to be unbuttoned, her tee dragging off her shoulder. That his tee had been pushed up. Possibly even by her…since no one else appeared to be glued to him.
“Hell,” he responded. Then, “You want to hear I’m sorry?”
“No, of course not. It just…happened. I don’t believe you planned this. And I sure as heavens didn’t.”
He nodded, relief in his face as he stepped back.
“Good thing we understand each other. Nice to have a friend where you don’t have to sweat guilt or regrets or explanations all the time.”
“You said it,” she said. Somehow her voice came out oddly hollow. “Thank heavens we’re just friends.”
Thankfully, sanity returned with daylight…and more sanity shored up after days passed without seeing her neighbor. The mosquito bites faded. The mark on her throat slowly disappeared. The raw feeling in her heart… Well, she banished it. As she was sure Mike had.
They’d been a pinch away from making love. Out side. In the grass. With the fireflies and mosquitoes. In public.
Well.
That certainly wouldn’t happen again.
“When’s Daddy coming?” Molly asked-for the fifth time in the past five minutes.
Thom had been due a half hour ago. “Any minute now.”
“He said we were going to do something special. He said it was a surprise.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
“Daddy said he’s going to buy me a bunch of stuff.”
“Did he?” Amanda lifted the brush. They’d already done Molly’s hair. Twice. But Molly wanted it “perfect.”
“Daddy said we’ll have so much fun that I can stay overnight next time.”
“I’m sure he believes that’s true, lovebug.” And it would happen when hell froze over, but Amanda didn’t say that to Miss Priss. The outfit for the day, after long deliberation, was a panda-bear tee in purple and pink, pink capris, sandals with panda-shaped bows and, of course, sunglasses with the same motif. Molly, naturally, had coordinated it all.
Amanda contributed a bag with bug spray, sunscreen and a variety of healthy snacks to hand to her ex. The jerk wouldn’t think of any of that. He’d be too busy buying off his daughter.
Just a half hour before, the mail had arrived-and she’d gotten the letter from Friend of the Court, expressing Thom’s request for full joint custody. She knew why he wanted it. So he could cut her child support.
“Can I go outside, Mom?”
“Sure. We’ll wait outside.”
Thom was just pulling in. The car was brand-new, a gleaming black hybrid. The devil stepped out, looking handsome as sin-white smile, cool shades, the same elegant posture and walk that had drawn her attention to begin with.
It was embarrassing to remember how naive she’d been back then.
Molly yelled, “Daddy!” And he swung her up and around in his arms as if hoping the whole world was watching-with a camera-so he could prove how much his daughter adored him.
Which Molly certainly did. She chattered ten for a dozen as she crawled into the backseat, automatically strapping herself into the child’s seat. He glanced up, said, “Amanda” as if he’d just noticed her.
“You’ll have her back by seven?” Amanda said.
“I’m sure you’ll call me if I’m five minutes late.”
His tone was snotty. She let it go.
Still, seeing him invariably provoked some icky memories. Discovering all Thom’s cheating had been a blow-but the worse blow had been his explanations. He actually believed that he was entitled. That casual sex with others “didn’t take anything away” from her. He believed they had a terrific life, including a great sex life, so what he did in his spare time would never have mattered, if she just hadn’t found out.
Oh, yeah. He’d also mentioned that becoming a mother had made her less physically attractive, less attentive, less adventurous and fun.
He must have thought she needed that extra kick in the teeth.
Now she thought…maybe she had. Because that fight had given her the momentum to kick him out.