Zero Option

I should have stood up and walked away; I knew what she was after, and wanted nothing to do with her.

But I was in such a low state that I sat tight and said, 'All right, then. Maybe I would be glad of company. Let's go to the cottage. There's plenty of food in the freezer.'

'I'll get something fresh on the way out of town,' she said. 'Half an hour?'

Everything went fine at first. Karen drove her Fiesta back to her digs and changed into a white frock with blue polka dots on it, which made her look very feminine. Then she dived into the supermarket and came out with a couple of steaks and some stir-fry vegetables. Having showered and changed while she was on the way, I dug out a bottle of red wine from the cupboard under the stairs and sat at the kitchen table chatting while she cooked.

We ate, and it was all harmless enough. She seemed genuinely sympathetic, and when she asked about my family background I found it a relief to describe how, after getting wounded and captured in Iraq, I'd found it impossible to settle back in with Kath, how I'd hit the bottle, and become so difficult to live with that a trial separation seemed the only answer.

'The worst thing of all was that she'd agreed to come back,' I said. 'I was on the up again. When I rang and suggested we got back together it was all she wanted to do. Another week, and she'd have come… Then that bastard Farrell sent his young feller with the bomb.'

'Tough,' Karefi agreed. 'Really tough. But what's so special about Tracy?'

At that point I should have scented danger. But the words weren't said in an aggressive tone, and I took them at face value.

'Well, she was fantastic. She just took over the house and became a foster-mother to Tim.'

'Right away?'

'No… after a decent interval.'

'How did you meet her?'

'She'd been around for ages. She was working as one of the receptionists in the Med Centre.'

'Obviously you fancied her.'

'What d'you mean? Everyone fancied her. Guys positively looked forward to reporting sick with some minor ailment, just so they could chat her up.'

'But what is it about her?'

I wasn't going to say that her gloriously long legs turned me on, or that she did wild things in bed. I just told her, 'She's a gassy person. Always full of jokes.

She's great at making stupid remarks that crack me up.'

'So you're planning to get married?'

'That's on the cards.' I wasn't going to mention the baby to this inquisitive cow.

'You must have made advances,' she said abruptly.

That did jar, and I retorted, 'What's that got to do with you?'

Karen didn't answer but stood up, Walked across to her handbag and brought out a cigarette, which she lit.- That pissed me offas well. I don't like people smoking in my house, especially without asking.

'Is there any more wine?' she asked.

'Sorry, that's it. I just had the one bottle.'

'How about a Scotch, then?'

'You oughtn't to; you've got to drive back.'

'Oh, one won't hurt. Not after all that food.'

'Help yourself, then.'

'What about you?'

'No, thanks.'

She moved across to the dresser, took down a glass and the bottle of Haig, and poured herself a measure. I wasn't chuffed with that, either. She did it with her back to me, trying to conceal the amount she was taking, but I sneaked a glimpse and saw that it was three fingers at least. Then she ran some water into the glass and came back to the table.

Instead of livening her up, the spirit made her morose. I tried to draw her out about her own background, but she seemed reluctant to discuss it and, beyond the facts that she was twenty-six and came from Norwich, I learnt practically nothing. It sounded as though she had no steady boyfriend, and never kept one for long. 'My career,' she kept saying. 'It's all down to my career.'

By eleven o'clock she wasn't making much sense, but still she needled away about my relationship with Tracy. I kept my cool and fended her off with non committal remarks, until suddenly I'd had enough. At that point I stood up and said, 'Look, Karen, thanks for coming. I'm grateful to you for keeping me company, but it's time to break up the party. You can't drive back in that state. You'd better get your head down in Susan's room and go back to town in the morning.'

'Shushan?' she said. 'Who's that?'

'The friend who's been sharing the house with Tracy.'

'Another of these smashing red-heads, I suppose.'

'Don't be stupid. Come on, now.'

'Washing up,' she slurred.

'It can wait. Leave it. I'll find you a towel.'

I ran up the stairs three at a time, and saw her clawing at the banisters as she came up behind me. On the landing I switched on the light in the spare room and said, 'Here you are. The bed's made up. The bath room's next door — there. It's all yours.'

I half expected her to make a grab at me because she'd previously shown such obvious signs of sexual frustration. But she simply said, 'Good night then, and thanks,' and went into the room, closing the door behind her.

Five minutes later I locked my own bedroom door and crashed out, so exhausted that I went straight to sleep. The next thing I knew, somebody was knocking on the door. For a moment I couldn't think who the hell it was. Then I struggled up on one elbow and called, 'What's the matter?'

'It's me — Karen.'

'What's the problem?'

'Thero: s water dripping.'

'For Christ's sake! Forget it. I expect the roof tank's filling up.'

'No, this is coming through the ceiling somewhere.'

Ah, hell, I thought. But I said, 'OK. Wait one, I'll have a look.'

I pulled on a bath-robe and opened the door. As I went to step out on to the landing I walked straight into Karen. She was standing in the doorway stark naked. In an instant one arm was round my neck and the other hand going for my crotch. Instinctively I brought up a knee and bumped her in the groin, whereupon she gave a scream and threw herself at me like a lunatic. I don't know if you've ever been attacked in the dark by a naked, sex-starved female — but it's quite an experience, I can tell you. Half the time I was trying not to get myself ripped and scratched, and the rest I was trying not to hurt her; but inevitably, as we wrestled, I kept getting a handful of this and that, with the result that she became still more desperate.

On me, the effect was anything but arousing. All I could think of were those terrible women brought into escape and evasion exercises to humiliate students who get captured, stripped and interrogated. When a guy's naked and at his lowest ebb, one of these old slappers comes in and starts insulting him with remarks like, 'Is that an acorn you've got stuck between your legs? I can hardly see it.' That was how I felt when I was pushing Karen around. She had a firm, meaty body, and in easier circumstances might have been a great lay — I could feel that all right — but she turned me on about as much as did the idea of Farrell and the IILA.

Things finished up with me getting her in a double half-Nelson and giving her a couple of slaps on the rump, whereupon she burst into tears.

'For Christ's sake!' I said. 'Go back to bed or go home, I don't care which. If the cops get you on the way, that's your lookout. But just stop bothering me.'

Those were the last words we had. I re-locked my door and eventually fell asleep again, and at about half- past six I heard her car start up outside. When I went to shave and looked at myself in the mirror, I saw I had a couple of scratches down one temple, and straight away I began to think of a way of explaining them to the lads.

SIX

As at the start of any operation, the guys were tense and quiet, exchanging the odd bit of chit-chat while we waited for the off, but thinking all the time of what lay ahead and wondering what they might have failed to pack.