The maternal bond is more than loving concern and self sacrifice on the part of the mother. It is often a sense on the part of the mother that the child is simply an extension of the self. This aspect of motherhood is assumed to be a
projection of the mother’s personality, due to a dictatorial nature taking the opportunity to establish a master-slave
relationship. Dictatorial and controlling mothers may or may not see the child as an extension of the self, but most
often simply see an opportunity to establish a dictatorship. Mothers who blur the line between their identity and the
identity of the child are characterized by a weak personality, one that seeks to ally with others to bolster itself. This is the person who will become the clinging wife, the obedient disciple, or the member who joins groups only for a sense
of belonging.
When such a weak individual becomes a mother, it is the mother who clings to the child, not the child to the mother.
The child can hardly protest, as such clinging is not evident to strangers, who often see nothing more than what they
would call devotion or interest on the part of the mother. Where such mother-child relationships exist, the child often
develops a strong urge to bolt, and does so at the earliest opportunity. They leave home, decisively, and refuse to
return. On occasion the confused identity the mother imposes on her relationship with her children takes disastrous
turns, shocking those who cannot comprehend the outcome. If the mother is suicidal, she may take her little ones with her into death, despite their cries. In her mind, if she wishes death then they must too, as they are she and she is them -
the maternal bond gone awry.
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ZetaTalk: JonBenet Ramsey
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ZetaTalk: JonBenet Ramsey
Note: written on Aug 15, 2001
The reports about the sexual molestation and subsequent murder of a child do not seem to die not because it is unusual
or has great impact on world events, but because it is so obvious who committed the crime and there is a fascination that the parents are forever being let off the hook. The child showed physical evidence of being repeatedly molested.
How could an intruder accomplish that? The ransom note was in the mother’s handwriting. Why would she write such
a note, unless as part of a cover-up? The house was under a security system that would prevent an intruder, and no
such activity was noticed by the neighbors. The child was in a competitive position with the mother, dressed up to look
like a woman, complete with red lipstick, and entered into beauty contests. This was done by the mother herself, to
make the child an extension of herself, but not done without resentment toward the child and the opportunities
stretching out before such a young beauty.
What happens in cases where the children in a family are sexually molested, repeatedly, and the mother is supposedly
ignorant? The mother is not ignorant, but is a participant! She is prissy, has been asked to perform acts that disgust or disturb her, or is trying to hold onto her own sexual response, repressing this, so wants to avoid contact. It is not
uncommon for the mother to have been raised in a strict religious environment that threatened punishment of any
sexual thoughts or actions, so complete sexual repression was the goal. When the father begins to molest the children,
who are most often too young to resist or understand their options, there is a conflicting set of emotions in the mother.
She is relieved, because she now is let off the hook, but at the same time she is horrified. Horrific circumstances can
result in denial, especially in a guilty party. The mother understands her role, and though in pain prefers to pretend the molestation did not occur, or occurred only because the child incited it and thus deserved it.
The Ramsy case is cycled in the news media, especially in the scandal rags, because it sells. It sells because the reader is wondering how long it is going to take before the obviously guilty parents are brought to justice. They are wealthy, bought and intimidated the local police into cooperation by their contributions to causes in the area or threats of legal action, as they could afford lawyers aplenty during any challenge. The local police, having failed to press when the
evidence was hot, are likewise now in a conflict situation. They deny any wrongdoing, vehemently, thus preventing
prosecution. The parents appear on TV, holding hands and acting like angels, shocking the subconscious of the public
who senses otherwise. Why does justice take so long? In part because of the commonality in households throughout
the world. Children are vulnerable, cannot fight back when the perpetrator is the parent, and are thus the first object
when the father’s resentment toward his prissy wife reaches the boiling point. Each prosecutor knows of situations
within his extended family or neighborhood or circle of friends where molestation of this sort is suspected. Eyebrows
are raised, jaws set in anger, but no actions are taken. The victims, being told they asked for their treatment, are bad, are getting what they deserved, are hardly likely to point an accusing finger. The victims have been convinced they are the criminal, and have gone into hiding with their parents, into face-saving denial, and silence.
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ZetaTalk: Humor
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ZetaTalk: Humor
Note: written on Jul 15, 1996
It is not by accident that a person coughing or choking is frequently thought to be a person having a good laugh.
Likewise the start of a hearty laugh is often mistaken for a shout or sneeze, and the rhythm of laughing is similar to the heaving rhythm of sobbing. Do these similarities mean that laughter has a physiological basis with sobbing and
coughing or a defensive bark? They do indeed. An analysis of situations found humorous invariably uncovers a tense
situation. In fact, to discern why one person finds a situation funny while another does not, look to why the amused
person is experiencing tension. Muscles tensed without relief naturally begin twitching and cramping, a result of the
buildup of toxins in the muscles but also due to the evolution of effective relaxation methods. Those creatures that
cramped without release did poorly, and those that twitched into a different state survived. Thus laughter or sobbing or
barking - a tension release.
Socialized humans given to denying their hostilities excuse their laughter as benign, which of course in the main it is.
If they weren't laughing they might be murdering each other or endlessly fighting, so laughter is encouraged. When
there is nothing one can do about it - joke around. Situations of intense jealousy bring forth sarcasm, which is hostility thinly veiled as humor. If someone else gets the promotion, joke around about his qualifications in a semi-sarcastic
manner, and you might get away with throwing him a verbal punch. If you have a dominating wife who insists that the