This kid was using his tongue like a dipstick in my daughter’s throat. ON! MY! COUCH! I stood there like an idiot for like ten seconds! Now I’m the asshole. Can you believe it? Is our society that far gone? If it is, somebody please hit the RESET button.
Thursday, January 3
I’m gonna have to pick a different channel to watch my evening news. Every time I see that woman...I get all worked up! As for my daughter’s “boyfriend”, I got a call this morning from my ex, she said Beth was totally embarrassed. But the good news is...not by me! Sure, she yelled at me and threw a fit, but it was because she was mortified that her boyfriend did what he did. She said that when I went into the kitchen to grab the snacks, he took that moment to just go for it. Now my daughter wants to come over on the 7th and catch the LSU vs. Ohio St. game with me...alone! Erin and I have raised a good girl even with a buster marriage. I think a lot of folks put blame on divorced parents for much of today’s problem children. I can see where a two-parent household has its advantages. But marriage does not make good parents.
Our band has a gig tomorrow night at a company holiday party. That will give me enough for my date with my girlfriend-du-jour, Megan. We are going to dinner and a movie. It’s my turn to pick the movie. I’m set on the new I AM LEGEND flick. I love those end-of-the-world-apocalypse type films. However, that means she picks the restaurant, blech! Another fancy-smancy place with some bite-sized tidbit in the middle of the plate. I’ll have to down a burger before I pick her up. For our next date, I pick the restaurant…and I gotta find a place that loads up on the food without costing a month’s rent. Also, by the next time I get to pick a movie, I’m thinking CLOVERFIELD. Anybody out there got any ideas?
Friday, January 4
Guess I’ll be going to see I AM LEGEND alone. When I went to the gig this evening everything was roses. Did I not mention that it is Megan’s company where she works as an insurance adjuster that my band was booked to play? So we started at five and there was quite a spread at this little soiree. I notice Megan tossing back a few, which is fine. I mean, I don’t drink, but to each his own. During the second break I look for her. Mostly for an ego boost. You know, ask how we sound…she tells me we’re great. But I don’t see her anyplace. Now this office complex is kinda big. Nine-story building, lots of space. I figure if she didn’t want to get caught riding cowgirl-style on some desk-jock, she could of at least gone up a few floors. I had a lot of ways that I could have responded. I like to think I was classy. I waited until she came back into the big banquet room…and then I had the band kick into Roxanne by the Police. There was enough eye contact for her to know the score. I didn’t see her the rest of the night.
I think I’ll go see my old high school buddy tomorrow. Soon as I finish my route tonight I’ll drive out to godforsaken nowhere, (which is where the prison he’s doing time in is located) and say “hi”. Nothing makes your problems seem small like visiting a guy in prison.
Saturday, January 5
I don’t have a lot of time to write this because I need at least a nap before work. I did go see I AM LEGEND. It was okay. Don’t take that as me saying it wasn’t worth seeing. Just had potential to be better. Maybe an actor without such a STAR BILLING would’ve given me more. He was just too…Will Smithy. I saw the movie after I visited my friend. For obvious reasons, I imagine most folks will be turned off by the whole “friend-in-prison” thing. Yeah, well, you guys don’t know Paul.
Paul is a regular guy. He got caught up in a pretty nasty deal. See…Paul is in prison on a sex crime. I bet that perked your ears (or, I guess, eyes). He says he didn’t do it. Him and every other guy in prison, right? I want to believe him. He’s my friend. Has been for years…but a charge like he got always makes you wonder just a bit.
Here’s what I can tell you. He divorced this girl who had three kids from three different fathers. Everybody tried to warn him, but he was trying to be Kaptan Save-a-ho. Anyways, he finally wises up and leaves. Problem is, he had legally adopted all three kids. So, now he’s paying child support (something those kids’ real dads never did).
A few years later he gets re-married. Eventually, they have their own kid. The new wife starts bugging Paul about this child support bill. Paul ain’t seen that ex or those kids in five years by now, and calls to see if she’ll agree to less money. He finds out that two of the kids have gone to live with their REAL dads! What’s more, this broad is on welfare and draining Paul for support with only one kid at her house and a live-in boyfriend that welfare is unaware of. He threatens to turn her in if she doesn’t agree to modify the child support. A month later he is arrested and charged with sexually abusing two of the three kids. His public defender told him to plead down to only two of the ten counts and avoid a trial. When Paul asked why he should do that if he was innocent, the lawyer told him all those kids had to do was point and cry and he would do fifty years on all counts versus only ten years for two!
That’s his story. I believe him because I’ve known him since we were ten. But for the rest of his life…he’s screwed.
We had a good visit. He only has about a year and a half left, so we talked about him staying with me when he first gets out. He said it was a bad idea because I couldn’t have my daughter visit me with him living there. I told him I’d help any way I can. When I left he looked me in the eye, shook my hand, and thanked me for taking the time to come and see him. He said his family totally cut him off so he hadn’t had a visit in about six months (the last time I came out). His wife divorced him and took out a restraining order so he couldn’t call his son. That was almost nine years ago. I called my daughter as soon as I got to my car.
Like I said, if you think you’re having a bad day…visit somebody in prison.
Sunday, January 6
My mind is still sorta flashing back on my visit with Paul. Tomorrow, I’m gonna spend a day watching a Bowl game with my daughter. I wonder what Paul will be doing. We played football together and I know he loves the game. Crazy.
Megan has left about twenty messages on my machine. I really don’t care. I mean, I did. That was until I drove by her place last night after I did my route. She musta forgot that I’m out and about in the middle of the night. That car in her driveway behind her ugly little Prius was parked next to her ugly Prius at work just about five hours later.
No, I wasn’t stalking. Just looking. I barely even slowed down as I drove by. Besides, she’s the one leaving messages on MY answering machine.
Monday, January 7
Last night was one of those nights that you only hear about. It becomes like an Urban Legend. I was almost done with my route and, as I am prone to do, I pulled into a 7-11 for a refill on my coffee. Sitting at the light waiting to turn left and then hook into the store’s parking lot, I can see inside the store very clearly. Two guys with hooded sweatshirts are at the counter…with guns!
I flip my cell open and punch my emergency button. The 9-1-1 operator answers and I give all the information, including the make and model of the car idling in front of the building. I sat there on the line as the two guys run out, jump in their car and peel out in reverse. About the time they almost pull out onto the street, a pair of squad cars squeal in and block the parking lot exit.